*GOING BACK TO YOUR ROOTS*

I always say how important is to go back to your roots. My perspective on what that means is this, To go back and think about where you came from, the neighborhood you grew up in, how you viewed things when you were little...how you saw the world. Forgetting, even for a small moment, the struggles you faced in your future and how your views changed from the innocent sweetness of a pure mind.

I grew up in Pleasant Grove, Utah. It was lovely. In my mind, I lived in the prettiest neighborhood. We had an orchard in our back yard and I loved it! There was a ditch by the side of my house where water ran often...my sisters and I had good times playing in that. I loved to ride my bike with my neighbors, during which time we often played "Cops and Robbers" (I have no idea why) I was always the cop and found myself throwing all of my friends in "jail" by chaining them to the boat we had...which had a large chain on it. It got wrapped around them once and hooked to the other side. At that point, I would continue to take off riding my bike while they...um....sat there. (SO DUMB) It was usually my little sister who got "locked up" the longest....I bet she sat there and wondered why her sentence was longer than others. heh heh :)

Across the street there were Rasberry fields. I remember Mrs. Logan asking us if we wanted to help pick them and put them in baskets. I LOVED doing that. I actually remember being chastened for eating more than I was "gathering". That makes me laugh. Rasberries are my favorite fruit up to date.

I remember how much I loved walking to my best friend Tammy's house. She lived about 6 blocks away, but I never remember my mom being worried. Things were different back then...I always felt safe in that little town for some reason. On the way to Tammy's there were always flowers in front of peoples houses. Mostly the "older" people. I took time to stop and smell them...(something we forget to do these days) and I remember just being happy. Sometimes I would even skip some of the way.

I loved the way the air smelled during spring (I guess we notice more when we are little), going for rides in my brothers MAROON Trans Am. (He was so kool...playing the Bee Gees with his butt cut hairdo.) Laying on my back, on my neighbors trampoline...looking and listening to the Willow Trees that surrounded it. Making mud pies with Jen (why do little kids do that? I had no desire to grow and be a Potter for crying out loud!), my dad making breakfast on sunday mornings while listening to country music, .... and the list goes on and on.

So on really hard days...I try to go back to my "roots" in my mind. Or do something that might bring back those feelings. Once in awhile I will even go back to PG...spend some time walking around or just drive through all the places that were special to me listening to old music.
I just think it's important. Even if you didn't love the place you grew up...I promise there are things that will make you smile when you remember them.

*LES MISERABLES*

I saw this in London a couple of times and I fell in love with musicals. Although I have only seen a small handful, this one touched me the most and has stayed with me. I think the music is powerful and beautiful. Here is one of my favorite songs/lyrics from this paticular musical.

*I dreamed a dream*

There was a time when men were kind. When their voices were soft and their words inviting. There was a time when love was blind...and the world was a song...and the song was exciting.

There was a time, Then it all went wrong.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night. With their voices soft as thunder. As they tear your hope apart and they turn your dream to shame.

He slept a summer by my side. He filled my days with endless wonder. He took my childhood in his stride, but he was gone when autumn came.

And still I dream he'll come to me. That we will live the years together. But there are dreams that cannot be. And there are storms we cannot weather.

I had a dream my life would be... so different from this hell I'm living...so different now from what it seemed.

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

*HOSEA*

An Institute teacher of mine, told me of the story of "Hosea" during a difficult experience I was facing at that time in my life. In short, I had a boy I was dating who walked away from our relationship for a "Woman of the world". This has happen to me again since that time, and I have been able to recall the story and words spoken to me about Hosea's experience.

Hosea loved the Lord and he loved his wife. But she could not give up her lusts and passions...so she left him to follow after the paths of those temptations and enticeings. But on those paths, they led to nothing but heartache and sorrow for her.

I see this happen so often. Men (and women) giving up precious relationships because of their selfish feelings or reasoning. They get lost in pornography, vain and miscontstrued perceptions of what relationships should be, or they just don't want to devote themselves to one soul. It brings tears to my eyes, not only for what I have had to endure in this area...but what so many others have endured. You feel worthless, unloved, unattractive, and brokenhearted.

I found a talk on Hosea that I really like. It points out some important points and gives understanding on how the Lord feels when his children leave him for the "world".

"I WILL BETROTH THEE UNTO ME IN RIGHTEOUSNESS”

by Ted L. Gibbons
Elder Ronald E. Poelman of the Seventy spoke of the message of Hosea.

“My message today might best be illustrated through the experiences of a young couple whom I will call John and Gayle.“John was a thoughtful, kind young man, affectionate, with a frank and open manner. He sincerely tried to obey the Lord’s commandments and found honest contentment in the joys of family life. Gayle, his wife, was young, attractive, high‑spirited, but inclined toward more worldly interests and activities. The society in which they lived was, in general, one of affluence and materialism. People seemed preoccupied with temporal gain, social status, entertainment, and self‑gratification. Religious leaders were concerned about the apparent breakdown in family life and moral standards.

“In the early years of their marriage, John and Gayle were blessed with children, first a boy and then a girl; but Gayle seemed uninterested in her domestic responsibilities. She longed for excitement in her life and was frequently away from home at parties and entertainments, not always with her husband. In her vanity, Gayle encouraged and responded to the attentions of other men until eventually she was unfaithful to her marriage vows.

“Throughout, John encouraged Gayle to appreciate the joys of family life and experience the rewards of observing the laws of God. He was patient and kind, but to no avail. Shortly after the birth of a third child, a son, Gayle deserted her husband and children and joined her worldly friends in a life of self‑indulgence and immorality. John, thus rejected, was humiliated and brokenhearted.

“Soon, however, the excitement that had attracted Gayle turned to ashes. Her so‑called friends tired of her and abandoned her. Then each successive step was downward, her life becoming more and more degraded. Eventually she recognized her mistakes and realized what she had lost, but could see no way back. Certainly John could not possibly love her still. She felt completely unworthy of his love and undeserving of her home and family.

“Then one day, passing through the streets, John recognized Gayle. Surely he would have been justified in turning away, but he didn’t. As he observed the effect of her recent life, all too evident, a feeling of compassion came over him—a desire to reach out to her. Learning that Gayle had incurred substantial debts, John repaid them and then took her home.

“Soon John realized, at first with amazement, that he still loved Gayle. Out of his love for her and her willingness to change and begin anew, there grew in John’s heart a feeling of merciful forgiveness, a desire to help Gayle overcome her past and to accept her again fully as his wife.

“Through his personal experience there arose in John another profound awareness, a realization of the nature of God’s love for us, his children. Though we disregard his counsel, break his commandments, and reject him, when we recognize our mistakes and desire to repent, he wants us to seek him out and he will accept us” (Ronald E. Poelman, “God’s Love for Us Transcends Our Transgressions,” Ensign, May 1982, 27, 28).


(For the full talk, go to... http://www.ldsliving.com/ot34.asp )

*NIECES & NEPHEWS*

Heaven knows how much I love my nieces & nephews. I love their guts out! And there isn't one of them that doesn't know it. I'm sure I'm Bias, but I'm 100% sure that they are the koolest ones on the earth. Everything that comes out of their mouths is both funny and clever. They are ALL total pills, pozers, smart alecs, and they are all smart as a whip! To add to that, they are deeply spiritual souls.

Sometimes I wonder where they come up with the things they say. I am often caught off guard at their words or actions. I have spent a lot of time in my life writing about some of their more "choice" words and experiences. I am the family historian. I didn't choose to be...it just kind of fell upon me. I was given the encouragement at age 15 to keep a book of rememberance. I did...and now I have at least 20 under my belt. My nieces and nephews are also aware of this. And sometimes they will throw something out there in hopes that I will add it in there. Here is an example from this weekend...

We were walking down the lobby in the hotel hallway so we could head for the lake. (We stayed at a resort on Lake Mead). My two nephews walking in front of my sister and I. They were mostly causing commotion which they always do...smacking eachother and such. Jaxton turned around and started walking backwards...he was talking to his mom and said, looking at me, "Mom, Aunt Kim is my DREAM GIRL!" *raised eyebrow" !!!??? He is SEVEN years old for crying out loud! My sister and I could not help but laugh...especially since he is the biggest pill out of all boyz. And THEN... without skipping a beat, he said "Are you gonna write that in your journal?" LOL ha!!!! My sis and I were cracking up. Bless his heart.

The thing is...of course he was being silly with me. But like all my nephews, they are acutely aware of their Aunt Kim. They seem, in their own ways, to be protective of me. They have this way of knowing when I'm struggling or hurting. Even when my face would not give off that impression. And somehow they always seem to know when I need a little something from heaven. And obviously, one of them, a little seven year old...knew when I needed to feel like I could be seen as someones "dream girl". :)

I'll never forget that, never. :) And yes...it's going in the journal. :)
My nieces and nephews are the greatest blessings to me. I love them more than words can say. And I especially love when they go home with their parents at the end of the day. :D

(The photo is of Jaxton...the one I speak of :)

WHEN A MAN LIES...

"When a man lies, he murders a part of this world. These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives. All this I cannot bare to witness any longer...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home?"

-From the movie "Excalibur"


"To build may have been the slow & laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day."

-Winston Churchhill