My best friend Christine, reminded me a couple weeks ago of a religion class we were in one day and how the teacher said, "Nothing you suffer in this life will ever, ever, ever, EVER be in vain!!!" I needed to be reminded of this. I often feel in my heart that a lot of things have been in vain. I always try and fight off the "Doubting Thomas" in me, but I often find myself saying, what is the point? Did that sacrifice mean anything? Or what was the point of going through this or that? Are all my efforts and sacrifices in vain!!???
Well...today I tried to take a nap (ha!) and instead I layed there and was asking the Lord these same questions that I ask him everyday. I decided to read my scriptures and jumped back and forth cross referencing. I ended up in Isaiah chapter 55:10-13 and these are the words I read;
"8 ¶ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my aways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name,
for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. "
I would love to be able to give the insight that I was given as I read this but I don't know if I can explain it. Maybe the biggest thing that stuck out to me was what I said before. That nothing we do or suffer will come back to us "void" there IS a divine purpose and point to our works on this earth. In the Book of Mormon we read the wise words of Alma to his son, Helaman,
"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.
7 And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by
very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls."
~Alma 37:6-7
In the world we say "It all adds up" but in the kingdom we may say, "It all multiplies up!" And nothing we do or suffer will ever, ever, ever, EVER be in vain.
As I was editing this photo of my niece, Tiffany, I used a new tool on my photo program and was surprised when I saw the effect it had. The light came out from her eyes and face, and left only the one eye visible. I couldn't help but think of a scripture from the New Testament that seems to fit the photo so well. 
Every once in awhile I run across a photograph that I can't take my eyes off. A photo that makes me feel peaceful, inspired, childlike, happy and grateful all at the same time. Well...every photo that my friend Jessica has ever taken makes me feel that way. She is one of the most amazing photographers I have ever seen...and I have seen A LOT! I'm rarely jealous of another persons work. I try hard to just be inspired. BUT...I have to say that sometimes I'm a little jealous of her talent. She has this gift with lighting in her photoz that I have never seen before. And I guarantee that noone can imitate it. It's HER gift from Heavenly Father. She is one of the only people that I know that I would love to hang her work in my house. She's just an amazing person both inside and out! She's beautiful, magical and I love her!
I took this photo yesterday in Alpine. It reminds me of how I felt tonight. Hanging down, tired and tearful.
So, my 35th birthday recently came upon me. I had expressed to my family that I really didn't want any kind of party or gathering this year. I just wasn't into it. I mean I honestly love getting older...for realz! But this year *35* just didn't seem to settle right and I wanted to ignore it! I wanted to keep it quiet and simple. Apparently that fell on deaf ears (shocking :) and of course the fam always has some kind of surprise up their sleeves for me. Pam called and asked if she could bring me lunch. I told her that was fine. A couple hours later...the knock at the door came. I was in my pj'z and could see through my sheer curtain that there was more than ONE person outside. Infact it appeared to look like a small crowd. I was NOT happy. I cracked the door open and low and behold...the cast of TWILIGHT stood before me bearing flowers and gifts! Not to mention that my mom, pam and Tiffany were hiding behind them! I couldn't help but bust up laughing! My family really are clever & funny...and It was a great little surprise. My sis asked why I wasn't dressed for the day and I was like, DUH! I thought you were just bringing me lunch! She told me to throw myself together and that we were GOING to lunch. We ended up hitting the Cheesecake factory (which I love) and then opening presents. It was fun and yet still simple the way I wanted it. Here are some classic photos of my cardboard loverz! :D
