*Life can be beautiful & cruel at the same time*

I went to the best U2 concert ever! And the next day my sister met Bono and hung out with his body guard for an hour. The irony!!! But it was kind of this kool little connection between us. When I got the tickets it was suppose to be for me and her. Her birthday is in June and I really wanted to take her. But Bono got hurt that year and we waited another year for him to come back to Utah. By this time, I knew Jen's plate was too full for her to come from Cali. I'm so glad she got to meet him...and a tad bit jealous. ;)

This is as close as I got to Bono.

And this is as close as my sister got. ha! She's on the far right.

But it's all good! Peace out U2! What a great blessing you were to me in this life!

BTW, I've decided not to share my U2 experience but rather tuck it in my heart.

*On a lighter note...look who is getting chunky!"

OLI!  Bah hahhhah  Look at those chunker cheeks.  Those are good for kissin'. And I love that her bow is the size of Texas! ha!

And I have to add this photo of Joe and Jen...so classic!

*Angels...answer me*

Angels
~Enya

Angels, answer me,
are you near if rain should fall?
Am I to believe
you will rise to calm the storm?
For so great a treasure words will never do.
Surely, if this is, promises are mine to give you.
mine to give...
Here, all too soon the day!
Wish the moon to fall and alter tomorrow.
I should know
heaven has her way
- each one given memories to own.
Angeles, all could be
should you move both earth and sea
Angeles, I could feel
all those dark clouds disappearing...
Even, as I breathe
comes an angel to their keep.
Surely, if this is
promises are mine to give you.
mine to give...

*Dear Joe...Congratulations!*

My brother in-law of almost 9? years just graduated from Endo school in California. This put him at about 6 years of Dental school. I am so proud of him and Jen and the life they built going through school and raising a family of now four. :) I just wanted to write a few things about Joe.

1- I didn't really like Joe at first. He teased me and called me "Boo Radley" because of the amount of time I was in my room. Now there were more than one reason, but who wants to listen to their sister and her boyfriend smooching and being all lovey dovey?! NOT ME! But then one day I heard my sister laugh the way she did when she was little and something changed in me instantly. I knew he was her sweetheart...he had made her truly happy and I began to love him as a brother and a new member of our family.

2- Joe truly loves my sister and has been a great support to her. The girl who I prize above the riches of the earth. He is a great husband. Soft spoken and kind, always willing to help with anything, so fun, and truly loves my sister with all his heart. I have NEVER heard him raise his voice. Only a couple times when he needed to defend someone he loved and maybe a few other times that I have missed out on. ha! He and Jen are equal partners and I love and admire that.

4- He loves his children and they know it! When he comes home he always reaches to my sister and gives her a kiss and then he asks where his kids are out loud and the kids come running to him. The song "I'm so glad when daddy comes home...glad as I can be." applies so well. It is a beautiful thing. Sadly, rare in our world.

5- He is so damn funny! His dance moves could give Napoleon Dynamite a run for his money. He makes me laugh so hard and whenever he see's that my sister needs a good laugh, he is quick to provide. We love the funny things he does.

6- He rarely if ever complains. If my sister asks him to help her, he always says "Sure babe!" Or "You bet!"...even if I can see that he is dead tired.

7- Now here is a personal one for me. When I came out of ECT...or maybe it was before ECT? (who knows! ECT fried my brain) I was laying on my back in my bed and for some reason Jen and Joe were staying at my house. Thinking all were asleep I began to cry. I was in terrible pain and actually I remember it hurt to cry...so basically it was a whimper. My brother in law walked in the room and knelt by my bedside. He quietly said, "Kimmy, would you like a blessing?" and I nodded Yes. He proceeded to bless me and I don't remember a single word he said. But I remember that he cried with me and his voice choked with emotion. I felt his tears fall on my head and at that moment I knew he truly cared about me and it hurt him to see me suffer. That moment can never be erased not even by a fried brain. ;)

Joe, you have worked so hard amongst great opposition. I wish I could have been there to cheer for you as you walked across the stage for the 2nd time. You know that next to Jen, I am your greatest cheerleader and you are one of my greatest heros. I can't see you as a bright star in the sky that just twinkles. But a shooting star that blazes across the sky for all to see! You and Jen deserve to fly and you have earned the blessings that are coming for you. I wish you happiness in the field of work that you love. I wish you peace and that the stresses of life might settle for a season of peace and true happiness. But most of all...I hope you make a butt load of money! hahah You deserve it!!! Rock on sweet rocker! I sure love you.

Love, your sister in-law,

KiM aka Boo Radley

Ps. Behind every great man is a great woman. You and I both know who that woman is...ME. hahahha jk, my beloved Jen. ;)

BTW, these photos were all taken in 2007. His first graduation...just incase you didn't know. :)

*I am not what I was*

Another poem I found by my hero, David Hyrum Smith. I'm still looking for the name if it.

"I strive to win again the pleasant thought;
The music only speaks in mournful tone;
The very flowers wear a shade, and naught
Can bring again the halo that is gone;
And every company my soul hath sought,
Though crowds surround me, finds me still alone.

I turn unto my tasks with weary hands,
Grieving with sadness, knowing not the cause
Before my face a desert path expands,
I will not falter in the toil, nor pause;
Only, my spirit somehow understands
This mournful truth—I am not what I was."

Why U2 is made of Awesome Sauce!

Starting at 15 years old until age 37, I have LOVED this band and they hold the most special place in my heart. I found this video that gives lot's of little clips of them over the years. AWESOME SAUCE FORsuuure!

*IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!*

I've waited 2 years for the U2 360 concert in SLC, UT. I got tickets, then when the time came Bono got seriously injured. One year later I was standing there watching the best U2 show YET. SO WORTH THE WAIT! Right now I have no mind power to tell all the kool things that happened and my experience but I will say this, it was suppose to be the coldest night of the week with lot's of rain! Oh really? Um no. It was the most beautiful, gorgeous day! The sun was shining and so was my heart. I NEEDED it so much. I'm am more than grateful. More soon....;)

*Sylvian Vales*

Poem read at the U2 360 tour in SLC UTAH May 24, 2011



Beautiful! It's exactly how I feel about my state.


~Poem written by Minnie Hardy

Utah I’m glad to be here where the mountains rise
Dazzling white ‘neath the clear blue skys
From crimson dawn ’til the dear day dies
Way out west in Utah.

Where the mountain air is pure and sweet,
Where fresh, cool water flows down the street
And the climate! Friend, it can’t be beat;
Delightful, magnificent Utah.

God made Utah and He made it grand,
The beauty spot of His glorious land,
Where plenty supplies with a generous hand
All of our needs and wants in Utah.

Mighty mountains, sylvian vales,
Picturesque canyons and rugged trails,
Joy’s your companion, health never fails,
Happiness dwells in Utah.

*Let's get ready to rumble! U2222222222222222!*

This was by far my favorite concert EVER! 2001 was a great year for me! And following the U2 Elevation tour made it that way! This is my favorite U2 song. Whenever I need to remember who I am, this is the song. I was so choked up at the concert in Utah at that time, It really has a special energy and spirit about it. You just can't describe what a U2 concert feels like unless you've been. Tomorrow, me and my best friend are gonna rock with Bono and the boyz...probably in the rain. (boo!) But nevertheless...we are going to ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ps. This paticular video will give you an idea of what it feels like!

*17 Miracles*

I don't care what you belive in, what religion you are, if you believe in religion, if you believe in God or not. What I do care about are people who stand for something. When I watched this small movie trailer I was filled with respect and gratitude and received fresh courage as I thought about people like them. My own ancestors gave up everything because they believed in something GOOD! They followed their hearts despite what ANYONE thought. They lost friends and family who thought they were crazy and couldn't believe they would let them go for something they believed in. I LOVE these kind of people. I've read alot about world war 2 over the years...I've felt a kinship with the Jewish people for some reason. And as I read of the evil and heart wrenching things those beloved men, women, and children went through I almost couldn't bare it. But their stories gave/give me strength to keep going. I feel grateful that there are still many people who are willing to give everything to follow their hearts. My heroes include people from all walks of life. Stories of survival and courage get me through my darkest hours. And truly no tongue can tell their stories. But I hold on to them in my heart and I keep pushing through my own darkness. I believe in miracles and am constantly pleading for my own 17. ;) To be honest, I'll take one!

"Something extraordinary is about to happen." Let it be!

*Happy Mothers day part 2*

Oli/Mrs. Hankey got left out of the first video and sent me her own. Thank you Oli! Next time your in town I'll sneak chocolate milk in your bah bah. ;)

*Little Saviors On Mount Zion*

I'm in the darkest hours of my entire life so far, and God sent me these angels. I may not be a mother in the worlds eyes, but I take being an aunt to these angels very seriously, as serious as a mother does. From the oldest Dallas, who is 26 to our newest baby Oli...they are my only heart strings that have not been broken. They are little Saviors on mount Zion, they are saturdays warriors, they are the last swallow of my "cup of hope." I love you Dallas, Tiffany, Kristiina, Taylor, Chaz, Nash, Zaxter, Jaxton, Kaul, Bleu, Henley and baby Oli. May our Heavenly Father bless you and may you follow the great Shepherd, Jesus Christ, all your days. I believe in you!

Thank you for this video my dear sister Jen...it was a healing balm on a shattered heart.

*Mothers Day for a Queen*

Mothers Day is such a great opportunity to tell and show our moms how much they mean to us. I mean obviously we wouldn't be here without them and their sacrifice to bring us into this world. I love what Abraham Lincoln said of his mother,

"All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother. I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."

I know my mom prays fervently for me and tells me so often that she would give up everything to see me healed and happy.

I think I've written this before on my blog, but my mom was given the gift of compassion. She really does love people and has this ability to make anyone feel comfortable. She is the heart of the home and when she isn't happy it is hard for us to be happy. She has suffered much in this life and yet continues to pick herself up and find cheer and gladness in the little things.

This last year has been horrific for me. Next to 2007 when I went through ECT...it comes in a close second as one of the worst years of my life. First I lost my dear friend Nate to suicide. I remember her checking on me several times in the nights that followed because I was having so many anxiety attacks and she would help me through them. It was hard for her too. She loved Nate and she worried about him too and it was a great loss for her as well. She has lost SO MANY loved ones...I don't know how she's survived that kind of pain without the help of heaven. She has been a brave woman for her Heavenly Father.

And then there was the lovely experience of having my intestines twisted and having to go through a very painful surgery to fix that. Every night she slept by my hospital bed, in those rediculous chairs that fold back into the form of lounge chair/bed and constantly squeak and are so uncomfortable! She slept in that because she didn't want to leave me. Those chairs are nightmares but she would laugh and laugh at how she couldn't even turn to the side without it popping up into a chair again. I felt so bad and kept telling her I'm fine! Go home, rest, and come back tomorrow. But she refused. She loves her children more than life and watching us each wade through tough times has taken it's toll on her. And then add the last 6 months where I have been in total hell and for her to have to watch me and feel so helpless could have put her in an early grave. I am thankful for her and pray for her happiness and greater strength to survive us..
to survive me! ha! I am so far from being the perfect daughter but she is quick to forgive and as patient as she can be with me. ;)
I hope she receives the blessings she so desires and is given greater peace over her children and grand children. Someday she will truly be crowned Queen Elizabeth. *wink wink*

I love you mom. Thanks for standing by me and teaching me to stand by our family. :) Happy Mothers day.

*Where is your home?*

This last week I was thinking about the places I've lived over the years and how I've missed each one for different reasons. 3 out of 5 stuck out. My childhood home. Oh how I loved it! I still miss it. We moved when I was 16. Same with my home in Orem , I loved it! It was at the mouth of Provo canyon and talk about a room with a view. And finally I had my own home for 7 years in Lehi which I have very much missed lately. Now I live in a beautiful little apartment attached to my mothers home...I do like it but it doesn't completley feel like home..."something" is missing. There is such a difference between a house and a home. The difference can be various things, for me it's mostly a sense of peace and safety...a refuge. The truth is, that home is love. That's my feeling. When someone has the ability to make you feel safe and secure, loved in all the right ways, and brings you peace, you are home. The focus on having a big house/exspensive lifestyle is rampant in our society, but what goes on inside that house seems to be of little importance and takes a backseat. A society where spending more time on making money has become more important than making and KEEPING a home full of love. It's so disheartening to watch families fall apart because they have lost their perspective. The small and simple things that bring about great things, are put off. Along with my own family who have taught me so much and whom I love dearly, I also have a second family. My best friends family. (I lucked out and am so grateful to have two great families). I have spoken of them on my blog before, but let me retell a few things that go along with what I'm saying.

I met the Haskin family at age 15. They lived in a small and simple home in Northern California. The first day I stepped in their doors I felt the spirit of the Lord. It was so tangible! I felt so peaceful...like I could kick my shoes off and go lay on the couch. It also felt like a soothing balm on my personal wounds. I soon found out that the great love for eachother and God (a must combination) that was in that home was what brought that feeling. A husband and wife who had been married over 40 years at that time and were still madly in love with eachother. They had raised 10 children 4 of which were still at home. I watched them closely and became aware that the keys were Love, laughter, courtesy, encouragment, gratitude, lots of affection, and most importantly it was a family that included the Lord in everything. That night I was there for their nightly family prayer. They knelt down in the family room and I listened to a loving father pray over his children, he thanked the Lord for his precious wife and for the blessings they were given. He asked for protection against the world and over their home. He expressed how proud he was of his children and prayed they would feel loved, that they would be lead by the spirit and that the dreams of their hearts would come true. :) (He's a total romantic...he gets so excited when his children are in love :) I loved it! And I was deeply touched. I plead with the Lord in my own heart that someday I would have this for myself...and I will. BTW, Dad Haskin still say's, almost every time I see him, "Kim, we love you and are so happy when you come over, we consider you a part of our family and I pray the Lord will bless you and your dreams will come true." He switches it up now and then but it's so sweet. To some it seems it's too good to be true, but I'm a witness of it and have seen it in other homes too. These words should ring true in every home and every heart,

A FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER.
A COUPLE THAT PRAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER.

We live in a world where the next generation of children MUST be raised in two parent homes with this kind of love and safety. This world is growing worse by the minute...full of caos and vile evils...they need to know who they are and where to turn. The should be able to come home from the world to a haven where they are taught of our Savior and that they feel their parents love for eachother and them. Then to help them to have a desire to have Heavenly Father lead them, guide them, and walk beside them. To teach them that He really is the most important person in their lives and to follow in the steps of their brother Jesus and make Him their best friend.

It all starts with finding your first home...your companion. When the Lord said, "It isn't good for man to be alone." he wasn't kidding. It's true also when they say that "Home is where your heart is" Where's your heart? Or where does it want to be? The answer is always HOME. Don't be deceived. Find your home and then build one. :) If you have one, make sure they know their loved, fight for them! Fight for your home.

My thoughts over the week and this little song, inspired this blog. I know there are probably 100 typos but you get the drift. I'll fix them later...I'm tired but first I'm going to go pray for my home. :)

Ps. How can I not mention our eternal home? I'm homesick for it all the time. But heaven can wait.


Christina Perri~ Arms

*HE DID HIS FATHERS WILL*

I was on lds.org a few days before Easter and watched this little video. My heart was warmed and comforted over my personal trials and I was reminded of what the Savior really did for mankind...for me. I am reminded even now, that I must work harder to read of Him, think of Him, and believe Him. For me, it's not to believe in Him, because I do. But for me to BELIEVE that he will come through for me. In the garden of gethsemene he cried out "Abba!" Which is the Aramic word for Daddy. I don't know how that makes you feel, but it takes on a whole new meaning for me of who our Heavenly Father really is. He is our daddy. An affectionate and more personal word that an innocent child cries out in trust when is he scared or afflicted..."Daddy". Many times I have thought of this and have come closer to Him as I realize that the ONE great constant in the universe, is the unfailing love of the Savior. When everyone else fails you, especially if it's your own family...HE will not. And when we sometimes feel like he is not there...He is. This video is beautiful and I bare my witness that the atonement is real and it is there for many reasons, one of which is to heal hearts. He suffered the pains of ALL mankind that we might not suffer to those bitter depths. He is our brother and we have a Father...Abba...a daddy who loves us. When we do our fathers will and He did, we will find that peace that surpasses all understanding.

*Easter 2006*

Everyone did their own thing for Easter this year. No family gatherings. I was looking through old photos of Easters gone by and found these ones of me and the kids and wanted to post them. That's Bleu out in the middle of the Easter eggs. Is that cute or what? He just had his 6th birthday this week. I can hardly stand them getting older. :(
That's when I was a strawberry blond...incase you didn't notice. ha! Weird to see my hair that light. I like it darker.

Ps. Sorry about the lack of clarity in the photos (like you care! ahah) But it bugs me. I lost the origionals so these are prints that were exported a 100 times.

*What's the story morning glory*

This song was in my head today...it's in my top 20 favorite songs of all time right along with Champange Supernova (which I actually like better than Wonderwall but not by much :) I first heard Oasis from my british friends in 1996. I was immediately hooked. It's amazing what strong emotions I feel when I hear these. Actually when you hear any music that reminds to of times, places, and people. This was a special time in my life.

Here's a great acoustic version of Wonderwall...I'm also adding another favorite of theirs,
*Stop crying your heart out*

Enjoy!





I don't like the Champagne Supernova video so not gonna add it.