*Everlasting Splendors*

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors, or everlasting splendors."

~ C.S. Lewis

Photo taken in Lehi, Utah. I'm guessing 2006. I have no concept of time.

*Say Anything*

I KNOW I've done a post on one of the greatest movies ever,'Say Anything'. I would be shocked if I haven't. My love of the movie is based around Lloyd Dobler. The Man of all men. A man who stands outside a girls house with a ghetto blaster over his head to try and win her heart back...or to tell her he's not giving up on her. It also happens to have one of my favorite songs of all time playing during that moment...a moment that went down in movie history. Here's the trailer, the song, the AMAZING lyrics, and my old bathroom that reminded me daily that I'm worth a man standing outside MY DOOR with a ghetto blaster. :D






love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

*Let go*

*All my friends are dead*

"If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable."

*Who I will marry*

Some people want to know why I'm not married. Some people have asked me and some people haven't dared to. Some people think I must be too picky, or maybe they think it's because she struggles with depression and anxiety and that no one would want to deal with that. Maybe it's the CATS. 3? Really? Yes...3! That has to be a big part of it. (haha) So, why AM I not married? Only heaven can reveal that. I could simply say that it hasn't been the right timing. Heavenly Father had a different plan for me. One that I never thought would be given to me. One that has been severely painful but would bring beautiful results (so I've been told). Has it been hard to be single? Yes and no. I see clearly the man I would want...the one at least I would hope for and he will be worth the wait. Should I have a list of requirements? Whether you answer yes or no, I sure do! and I think you will agree at the end of reading them, that they are not unreasonable. He should also expect the same of me.

1- He will see me for who I really am. He will see my heart in my eyes and in all that I say and do. He will love me for that, for my heart is good and full of love.

2- He will not have unrealistic views of what me and my body should look like and be like. My imperfections will fade because he loves me with a pure love. This will make me feel safe and secure which is one of my greatest desires.

3- He will have a strong testimony of his Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. He will have a desire to have them be a part of our marriage, knowing that They will make everything more beautiful because we would never want a life without them.

4- He will not be over zealous but be able to see outside the box. He will have a love for others and be able to see their hearts rather than judge them for things they may do. At the same time, he will be strong enough to know when to speak up and defend what is right and true.

5- He will understand suffering on a deep level and with that be able to help gently remove the emotional shrapnel that is in me because of the wars I've had to battle. He will also love me for having the desire to do the same for him.

6- He will have a desire to be a team with me, equally yoked, working together through this life. That it will be hard for him to be away from his teammate/love of his life and he will always be excited and happy to come home.

7- He will have a great sense of humor and we will fill our home with it. We will both know that it is a great healer and can get us through a tough day/times and that others will enjoy visiting us because we both love to laugh and our home feels like a happy and peaceful haven.

8- He will write me love notes/letters because he knows I appreciate them more than anyone in the world. That I don't need expensive gifts but would rather have something he made or simply something full of thoughtfulness.

9- He will not be afraid of PDA in public or to introduce me to people he loves. He will be proud of me and always say, "This is MY girl." or something cute like that. :)

10- He will not have a roving eye because he will know that his wife is "Stinkin' Kool Kim" and that he will feel as though he won the lottery with me and to him, I'm the best of all the gang. :) He also will feel my love for him so deeply that he would never be in doubt and see clearly that I feel the same. Jealousy is not acceptable from either one of us. He will HAVE to know that me hugging people, even an old flame is simply who I am and nothing more.

11- He will honor me and women. He will want to be a defender of them and have the courage to be an example of this and encourage others to do the same.

12- He will not even care that I have cats. He will love me for loving them and he will love them too. Even if it's just because I love them. ;)

13- He will never leave the house without kissing me and telling me he loves me. Even if it's just to borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbor.

14- He will not judge me for my sucky grammar or other things that could be seen as annoying or shortcomings. He will know that I'm far from being perfect and he is okay with that.

15- Last but not least, he will want to build a family with me and grow old together. He will want to spend forever with his girl. :)

Is this too much to ask? I think not. I've waited a long time and I feel I deserve it. Who I marry will feel so loved, honored, and respected. He will feel no judgement from me just understanding, unconditonal love. I will treat him like a king and love him in a way he never thought possible.

Ps. May I add one last thing. He won't give a crap that I hate to cook. ha!

*If not now, when?*

Asking myself this question today and Bam! There was a song to match my thoughts! Love when that happens. :)
(Ps. The video sound is total crap. Not my fault.)


"I have waited
Dined on ashes
Swung from chandeliers and climbed Everest
And none of it's got me close to this

I've waited all my life
If not now, when will I?

We've been good
Even a blast, but
Don't you feel like something's missing here?
Don't you dare

I've waited all my life
If not now, when will I?
Stand up and face the bright light
Don't hide your eyes
It's time

No umbrellas
No sunglasses
Healing Hallelujah everyday

I've waited all my life
If not now, when will I?
Stand up and face the bright light
Don't hide your eyes
It's time."

*In my future home...*

...we will have a slide and we will slide until our bums hurt! OR stomachs! :D

*It's true*

*All the stars in the sky are mine*

One of my favorite bands and one of my favorite songs.

*Happy as a bug in a rug*

This is what I look like in Southern Utah
This is what I feel like in Southern Utah
This is what I feel like when I think of Southern Utah
This is what I look and feel like when I'm with my best friends! Love them!

*Tiffy'z Birthday*

Tiffy'z birthday was on the 3rd but I didn't get a chance to write that day. I took this picture of Wubba (Tiffany) when she was maybe 7? I remember thinking, if she is this beautiful now, I can't imagine what she will look like and be like when she is older. And now I know...I had no idea that her beauty inside and out could increase to the level it has. I also had no idea how fast the time would go by, how much I would love her, and how she would become one of my best friends. She is true grace and beauty! She was beautiful on her wedding day and I couldn't love her anymore than I do!

Freedom & Free agency

Just as Freedom comes at a cost, so does your free agency. To think that your personal decisions have no affect on anyone but yourself is to be mislead. Our gift of free agency IS a gift. Your actions or words can cause majestic beauty or heart wrenching damage in an instant.

This is just something to think about on this 4th of July (and always). Also, here is a photo of these two great flags that to me represents my thought. Captain Moroni used his agency to bring Freedom about in his country and personal life, as did our Forefathers which the American Flag symbolizes.