Photo taken at the St. George Temple.
I have often asked myself the question, Which one is worse...to watch someone suffer or to be the one who suffers? I think if they were weighed in the balance, we might find that in SOME situations...they can be equal. Sometimes it depends on how a person acts and reacts to suffering.
I have written several times on my blog about my sensitive nature. (or perhaps you have guessed it...it's the Elephant in the room :) To people who know me this is not something that ever needed to be mentioned. It shows in everything I do and everything I am. It is both a blessing and a curse. It has been one of my greatest challenges in my life to watch anyone or anything suffer. It is a good thing to help others bare their burdens, but I somehow find myself taking the burden on my own shoulders. I can't seperate the two.
A couple months ago I found myself so weighed down with the sorrows and struggles of other people that it became paralyzing. I couldn't function AT ALL. I soon found out that the Lord was well aware of how I was feeling because I had several stories from the Book of Mormon come into my mind.
The first is the story of Enoch. Enoch, a great prophet, see's the Lord firsthand and Lord shows him "the world for many generations." Enoch is shown both the light and darkness of the people...the righteousness and the wickedness of the inhabitants of the earth. At one point we read Enochs reaction,
"As Enoch saw this, he had bitterness of soul, and wept over his bretheren, and said unto the heavens: I will refuse to be comforted; but the Lord said unto Enoch: Lift up your heart, and be glad; and look."
Moses 7:44 (Pearl of Great price)
At that moment the Lord then shows him the coming of the Savior and how he would save His people. This account comforted me- not only did I feel understood, but I felt the reassurance that the Savior came for us. He is at the healm and is in control of his little lambs. He knows each one and he knows how to succor his people at all times. He knows how to lift up their hearts. He knew how to lift mine, I just needed to rely on him and put the things that I couldn't handle in his hands.
The second story is of Mormon writing an epistle to his son, Moroni. He is giving an account of the destruction of his people and being an eye witness to the end of them, he tells of some of the things he has witnessed. At the end of this epistle he ends it with these words;
20- "And now, my son, I dwell no longer upon this horrible scene.
25- "My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."
Moroni 9:20,25 (The Book of Mormon)
I realize that throughout eternity the Atonement of Christ is and will be the answer to everything. The Savior is mighty to save, he is the prince of PEACE, and we may rest in the thought of his life, teachings, and the joy of being with him again someday.
A great LDS Institute teacher once gave me this counsel;
"Kim, if there is something wrong in your life or the life of someone you love...then pray to the Lord. Ask him: Is there anything I can do about this situation? Then listen for a prompting. If you feel to do something, then do it. If not...know that the situation is in HIS HANDS."
That councel could have saved me a lot of grief over the years if I had applied it more. I'm trying to continue to teach myself this wise advice. It is the Lords will that we "Lift up our heads, and be glad." And trust that he never leaves us, that he will be with us in everytime of trouble, and that we never walk alone.
