I fell asleep early tonight and now, at 3am I'm wide awake. I woke up with a few things on my mind. With Thanksgiving only a couple days away I was thinking of what I was grateful for. At first thought I didn't feel very blessed. I felt tired, sad and overwhelmed at my constant challenges. But as quickly as I thought this, my thought process changed. I started to feel this gratitude for all I've been asked to endure in this life. I've been *Allowed* to go through these things...
I've been allowed to go through the disease of depression & anxiety.
I've been allowed to have my heart so broken that I felt I couldn't even breathe.
I've been allowed to be hated for no reason at all or reasons I didn't understand.
I've been allowed to be falsely accused.
I've been allowed to be at the mercy of others.
I've been allowed to become completely disfunctional, bed ridden and dependent on others.
I've been allowed to be emotionaly abused.
I've been allowed to be betrayed.
I've been allowed to watch all my hopes and dreams be dashed before my eyes.
I've been allowed to lose my faith for a short time.
I've been allowed to cry oceans of tears and not feel any help.
I've been allowed to be humiliated.
I've been allowed to be completely misunderstood.
I've been allowed to feel total silence when I pleaded for help.
I've been allowed to go through all these things to UNDERSTAND others and to be given the privilege to SUFFER that I might become more aquainted with Christ. To love and know him in a way that many may never be blessed with in this life. To have a testimony that he is the ONLY ONE who can deliver me and that he is the Holy One Of Israel and The Great Redeemer.
So, do I have MUCH to be grateful for? YES. How blessed I am!
I am grateful for the woman I have become.
I am grateful for my amazing family & friends who have carried me, prayed for me, and literally saved my life.
I am grateful to understand that life itself is a great miracle.
I am grateful for the compassion and love I have for others.
I am grateful for the deep love I have for animals and all living things.
I am grateful for the gifts and talents I have.
I am grateful for the opportunity of living in a free country and being able to visit and love other countries and the people.
I am grateful for the shelter over my head.
I am grateful for nieces and nephews who have prayed with unfailing faith that their Aunt Kim might be blessed. And of course for their pure hearts, spirits, and their smiles that bring me happiness.
I am grateful for beautiful music.
I am grateful for my guardian angels.
I am grateful for my heritage and those who have paved the path that I might be able to look to their lives for courage and strength.
I am grateful for laughter.
I am grateful for forgivness...to be forgiven and to be able to forgive.
I am grateful for clouds and the beauty of the earth. This blessing of being able to "Lift up thy head and rejoice."
I am grateful for the faith of my sisters.
I am grateful for the compassion of my mother.
I am grateful for EVERY PERSON who has ever come into my life.
I am grateful for Miracles and the hope that they can happen.
I am grateful for The Book Of Mormon and The Bible.
I am grateful for my testimony that has held me up when the vicious storms raged.
I am grateful for Joseph Smith and the restoration of the gospel.
I am grateful for the current prophet of the church, Thomas S. Monson.
I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. For his patience, forgiveness, and love. But most of all for his son, Jesus Christ. The Atonement means so much to me. His life means so much to me! I am grateful to know that I will see him again in his glory and majesty. I will see his face again...I will see my best friend again. Oh how I miss him!
Friends, count your blessings. Count your sufferings with an eternal perspective and watch them unfold into gifts from heaven.
Happy Thanksgiving. :)
