A place of peace and safety. A place where the temperature is just right and there is no fear. Just hope, healing, happiness, honesty, a small ocean of tears, and a good laugh once in awhile. ;)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
*A ROOM WITH A VIEW*
So, I'm moving...or rather I'm getting kicked out of my house. Without sharing too many details, my parents are selling my place and I will be forced to find somewhere else to live. Where that place is, I have no idea. I think I have less than a couple months left here so I'm trying to think fast on where I should or need to go. Wherever it is, I will be renting. It's been kind of an amazing feeling having a place that I considered my own. I've been here 6 years. A time of great healing and great sorrow. I think Kahlil Gibran said my feelings best,
Joy and Sorrow
"Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall."
I love that...it say's so much. So much about my experience of living in this home and going through what I have gone through. It has been a place of safety and peace to a certain degree, it has also been a prison in which I had to learn many lessons alone.
Besides the huge pit of dirt which is my backyard, if you look off to the right, there are beautiful hills and mountains that have shined brightly and have many times lifted my soul. This week I took this photo when the light seemed just right. If you look to the right it appears to be the #7. That's my lucky number. I guess it's known as a lucky number but It was mine before I knew I that. ;) Maybe it's a sign of good things to come? Maybe...maybe my next place will also have a room with a view. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Right now the words of Tom Petty are playing in my head,
"It's time to move on...it's time to get goin'...what lies ahead, I have no way of knowin'"
Peace out.
Ps. Kass, I know this may be your first notice that your ghost of a neighbor is moving, but I'm pretty sure you will barely notice I'm gone. (Unless you get some obnoxious neighbors...then you will wish I was back! *wink* And btw, I always knew that if there was EVER a problem, I could turn to you and Mike. Respect to you for allowing me to just be me and reassuring me in your own way that you were there for me.