Tuesday, December 26, 2006


Sometimes I feel this emptiness, this hole in the heart kind of feeling. It has nothing to do with rain or storm, a broken heart, loneliness, unfulfilled wishes or dreams, or just a bad day. It's just deeper than those things....something that took me awhile to put my finger on. But then in a moment of clarity, I knew. I was homesick. That moment of clarity came when I was lying on my back, in my comfortable bed, with my cloud colored sheets, in my warm house, staring up at my favorite glow in the dark moon. I WAS home. But not really. I was missing another home... my real home. My heavenly home. Actually I think this understanding has come at several different times in my life, and I knew what it was, but I had forgotten.

I'm grateful, that as a Latter day saint, I have a knowledge of a pre-earth life. An understanding that I lived with Heavenly parents and the Savior, and I walked in their sight. I was taught under their watchful eyes, and loved by them in a way that can't truly be understood in this life. It was a place of great peace. A place I loved more than anything, and oh how I miss it.

I like these lyrics, "I should just kick my heels together and go home, but I'm not sure where that is anymore." I think a lot of people feel that way. Not because they are moving around from place to place, or they are away from the home they grew up in...or perhaps nothing has ever felt like home to them. But like me, they feel something deeper. They are homesick for their REAL home. (they just don't know it)

Today is just one of those days for me. I miss it. I would love to "kick my heels together and go home".

Just for a visit. :)