Sunday, December 20, 2009

*MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ME*


Hi friends,

Just a little note to wish everyone a Happy Christmas and give a quick update on our family this last year.
We had our share of trials...every one of us. A few moves, health problems, a serious health scare, a divorce, a miscarriage, financial struggles, the death of family friends and a handful of other things. It seemed like just when we picked ourselves up, the rug was pulled out from under us. The Lord has tested our faith and as we turned to Him I truly saw how he sustained us, comforted us, encouraged us, and even granted us some miracles in which all of us are forever grateful. I have learned over my life that trials can either soften us or harden us. I have always fought for the softer heart but I haven't always won. I know the Lord is merciful and loves my family. I am really proud of all of them and how they have handled their trials. We are a tight knit group and we always have each others backs. When one is down, we run to their aide to lift them and help in any way we can. I can't count how many times they have done that for me. I adore them all and appreciate their sacrifices they make for others, their families, and our God. I love this quote;

"I lift thee, you lift me, and together we will ascend!"

I give thanks for all my great friends both old and new. I have a small piece of every person I have ever known in me and I love that. Wishing everyone Happy Holidays and a great 2010. Don't forget that the Savior is really the most important person in each of our lives.

Love to all,

Kim*

Ps. That cute kitty in the boots is NOT mine. (Three is enough!:) It's my moms and her name is Gracie. :)

Friday, December 11, 2009

*THE GRINCH?*


This was an *Artisan* design that I was playing with and it ended up looking kind of like The Grinch or maybe an alien. Random...I know.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

*MYSTERIOUS LETTERS*

I am rubbing my hands together at the very thought of being a part of this "Mysertious letter writing". I read this great blog today and I snagged the idea. I love to write and the possibilies are endless with this clever and amazing idea...
Here's the story/inspiration to do this;

"We intend to write to everyone in the world..

In April 2009, we sent a personal, handwritten letter to each of the 467 households in the small Irish village of Cushendall. We hoped these unsolicited letters would prompt neighbourly discussion, spreading across the town, promoting community curiosity.

In November 2009, we sent another bundle of letters, this time 620, to each home in Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, USA.

The art work consists solely of the discussion between the recipients about what on Earth these letters are, who sent them and why, etc.

Lenka Clayton & Michael Crowe."

This might not make any sense until you actually read the blog. But it's stinking kool and I'm going to do it! I might not be able to write the whole world, but I can sure try. ;)
Ps. I will share my first letter on here this week. :D
Pss. I am attaching one of the letters from their blog that I thought was funny. :) There are so many great ones and the wheels in my head are already turning with words of my own...that I will share...with mostly strangers. :)

http://www.mysteriousletters.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

*OH EDWARD, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!*


Is he the most thoughtful man ever? My tree is a sight to behold. The lights are actually Halloween lights with little ghosts on them! Then, there are some other dazzling little things hanging and well sitting on the tree (Vampire teeth). I love it and it just makes me feel so damn Christmasy! I'm a LUCKY girl!

Ps Thanks Chris, for giving Edward some ideas. He gets cold feet when it comes to giving me things. He wants everything to be perfect! You are a great friend to him! *Double wink*

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

*CHAZTON IS COMING HOME!*

We are all getting excited because Chaz, my nephew, is coming home from his mission in South Africa! For me it seems like he barely left and at the same time we have missed him soooo much. I can't wait to see that bright smile again! I am so proud of him. I keep thinking about this part in the Book of Mormon in which we read of Alma a missionary who returns home and comes across his friends who are coming home from their missions.

Alma 17:1-4

1 And now it came to pass that as Alma was journeying from the land of Gideon southward, away to the land of Manti, behold, to his astonishment, he met with the sons of Mosiah journeying towards the land of Zarahemla.
2 Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.
3 But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God.
4 And they had been teaching the word of God *for the space of fourteen years among the Lamanites, having had much success in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth; yea, by the power of their words many were brought before the altar of God, to call on his name and confess their sins before him.

My nephew, has always been amazing, but through his emails I can tell and feel that he has truly become a man of "sound understanding" and truly a strong and faithful man of God. It will be bittersweet for him to come home. His last email said this;

"Kimmy, I'm doing so good right now and I'm loving this area so much and I'm dreading leaving honestly I'm not feeling to good about it. But at the same time I'm so excited to see you and the family too. The members have been giving us so many people to teach and there are so many great families that are going to be comming into the gospel and believe it or not most of them are from england."
(I think he added that last part because he knows how much I love my English friends).

So as you can tell, this great young man fell in love with the work of teaching Gods children the plan of salvation and has fallen in love with a people/nation in which it will be very hard for him to leave. He has been a bright shining star in a country that has a lot of darkness. He will leave that nation with greater light and knowledge...and he will leave them and his posterity a great legacy. They will never forget him, and HE will NEVER forget them.

Can't wait see you, my beloved nephew.

This photo is of me and Chaz the day he got his mission call to South Africa. We had just returned from a Trip to Fish Lake, Idaho. On the way there I asked him, "Chaz, if you could go anywhere in the world on your mission, where would you want to go?" His response was "AFRICA"...you can imagine the excitement and delight he felt when he read his call. :)

Sunday, December 06, 2009

*I WISH*

From my journal September 29, 1998 (11 years ago!!!)

I WISH...

I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and just watch myself...not change anything...just watch.
I wish I had lickable wall paper like in Willy Wonka
I wish I had my own cottage in the woods
I wish I could sleep on clouds
I wish that children and animals never suffered
I wish I could build a crystal castle
I wish all the dramatic or great moments in life had back ground music
I wish I could have picnics in wheat fields like I did when I was little
I wish I could fly into Niagra falls and swim in it without feeling any pain
I wish I could give more surprises to people
I wish I had more friends all over the world
I wish I could write a book
I wish I could be more pure
I wish I could meet a man of God, fall in love with him so that I could have a best friend with me always
I wish I could learn about photography and become an incredible photographer
I wish I could work with youth all over the world and bare my witness of who they are
I wish I had my own library and I could say that I had read every book in it
I wish I could wake up happy


ha! I find it interesting that a few of those came to pass. Maybe not the Crystal Castle (???) but a few.

"If wishes were fishes...right?" ;)

Friday, December 04, 2009

*LEARN TO FLY*

Learn To Fly from Christian Letruria on Vimeo.



Thanks to Jason Hadley for sharing video 1
and Ryan Childs for video 2. Both videos had a great impact on me.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

*SPAWN/ARTISAN*

This is my new favorite app on my iphone. I can't even explain how much I love it. Each time I'm on it, I spend an hour at least, designing and playing around with it. It's so fun for me! It's kind of this psychadelic designing? hahah Here is a review that tells about it better than I could;

"What an amazing application, it’s like a firework on steroids! The best part is that you have full control over every aspect of it without having to open any options dialog. You can control the path of the light objects with your finger, change the color through pinching at the right location, change the tail length, size, speed, everything and to top it all off you double tap the screen and all particles instantly combust into a thousand offspring. The little particles will never get tired of amazing you with ever changing new beautiful artistic constellations and neither will you get tired of watching them doing their thing."

After I got the hang of how to use the tools, I got better and better at it, even though it's not that hard. Here are some of my personal designs. I'm quite proud of them! :)

*HE KNOWS ME*

I have been in one of my deeper moods today (shocking :) and was thinking how remarkable it is that God knows things that I both want and need without me even knowing that I want or need them. Does that make any sense? Once in awhile something will happen and in my heart of hearts I think...I didn't even know I wanted that...but I do. They seem to be so far reaching that they are even beyond my power of thought. Perhaps it shouldn't be so suprising knowing that He is a God who knows "the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Luke 12:7) But today it just hit me in such a strange way. Nothing overly remarkable happened to me but maybe just an eternal insight that woke me up from a Doubting Thomas slumber. Maybe some of you get it and maybe some of you don't. I'll be honest in saying, I'm not even sure how to explain it. I just know one thing forsure, He knows me. God and Jesus Christ know ME in a deep and very personal way. And that in itself brings great peace to my soul.

Ps. Sometimes I forget that there are people who are not members of my church who might not always understand what I'm talking about. If you would like to know more, or even have a greater understanding on a principle I'm speaking about, please go to,
http://www.lds.org

Sunday, November 29, 2009

*OHHHH SOPHIE!!!*


The little girl who started it all, Shaelyn. :) Is she cute or what?!!

THE STORY OF OH SOPHIE BEGINS HERE...

If you know me, my family, or my friends at all...you probably know that we call each other, Sophie or Soph. Why? Well...it's an odd story and I don't know how to connect it all...but I'll try. :)

In my early 20's there was a little girl in my family church ward that I adored. And at the time I had never seen a cuter little girl besides my own nieces. Something about her captured my heart and she always grinned at me. Her mom and Dad were a young married couple and usually sat near me in church. They also adored her (obviously) and we all laughed when she would do something funny or not funny...everything she did was just cute. Her name was Shaelynn. I offered to babysit her for them the next time they wanted to go on a date. They were so happy and grateful and they took me up on the offer a few times. I loved it! She was so fun and a very easy little girl to watch. One night I took her back to her parents and as we were walking in they greeted me at the door along with their little white dog, Sophie. When Shaelyn saw this dog, her whole face lit up...she was so excited at the thought of getting to play with her. But quickly her mom said, "No, you need to go to sleep now and you can play with Sophie tomorrow". A look of horrow came over her face...she was standing up and with great drama threw herself on the carpet and yelled "Ohhhhhhhh Sophie!!!!!!" in the funniest, cutest, most dramatized voice ever. I had to cover my mouth so I didn't die laughing. I mean, this wasn't sadness...this was the true DESPAIR of a two year old. And then her mom and dad laughed and I left laughing all the way home! Olivia never laughed...but started to cry. :(

From that day on, I told the story to several people because I was quite good and mimicking her voice and it was so funny. People thought it was funny too or I was funny for my efforts in trying to mimick it! ha! Every time one of us (friends and fam) were feeling overwhelmed or sad, we would cry out...Ohhh Sophieee!!!! It was the only real way to say how they/we were feeling. hahahha And then one day...well...people started calling me Sophie. And from there, it some how evolved into me calling my sisters and two closest friends Sophie or Soph. It's the oddest thing if I really think about it. I don't remember the last time I called my sisters PAM or JEN. It's SOPH!...when we text or call each other or even see each other in person, it's, "Hey Soph! How are you Soph? I love you Soph!" *Shrug* It's just more of an affectionate love name...it really is. A name by any other name is not the same! hah :)

Ohhhhh Sohhhhhhhhhhhieeeeeeeee!

And there ya have it! :)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

*THERE IS BEAUTY ALL AROUND...*

...WHEN THERE'S LOVE AT HOME.


The words to that hymn could not be more true. I couldn't help but think about it as I spent time with my family this thanksgiving. There WAS love in our home...I felt it more than I have in times past...and I felt blessed and I felt THANKFUL.
(Pammy put together these leaves for Jen last time she came into town. Beautiful!)


*LOVE AT HOME*

"There is beauty all around,
When there’s love at home;
There is joy in ev’ry sound,
When there’s love at home.
Peace and plenty here abide,
Smiling sweet on ev’ry side;
Time doth softly, sweetly glide,
When there’s love at home;
Love at home, love at home,
Time doth softly, sweetly glide,
When there’s love at home.
In the cottage there is joy,
When there’s love at home;
Hate and envy ne’er annoy,
When there’s love at home.
Roses blossom ’neath our feet,
All the earth’s a garden sweet,
Making life a bliss complete,
When there’s love at home;
Love at home, love at home,
Making life a bliss complete,
When there’s love at home.

Kindly Heaven smiles above,
When there’s love at home;
All the earth is filled with love,
When there’s love at home.
Sweeter sings the brooklet by,
Brighter beams the azure sky:
Oh, there’s One Who smiles on high,
When there’s love at home;
Love at home, love at home,
Oh, there’s One Who smiles on high,
When there’s love at home.

Jesus, show Thy mercy mine,
Then there’s love at home;
Sweetly whisper I am Thine,
Then there’s love at home.
Source of love, Thy cheering light
Far exceeds the sun so bright—
Can dispel the gloom of night;
Then there’s love at home;
Love at home, love at home,
Can dispel the gloom of night;
Then there’s love at home."

*ARE YOU STILL MY GIRL?*

This is my SECOND mom and Dad, Larry & Arden Haskin. They have been married for over 50 years and are still as in love as the day they got married. They are such a great example of what love is and that it's worth waiting for and working for. When I was last at their house, I saw Larry wrap his arms around his wife and say, "Are you still my girl?" and then she said, "Of course I'm still your girl". And then he kissed her. It was so cute! I'm glad I had my camera on my lap. :) What a great example they have been to me.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

*A CURTIS HALLOWEEN*

The fam had a great time at Larry & Sherri's this year (Which is the ritual to go to their house). AND as always great costumes! I personaly am proud that I came up with mine 30 minutes before the party! The Corpse Bride! Love that movie! I went through all the costumes/old clothes and found my old prom dress. (Don't mock it was in '92! Lace was so in! ha) Anyhow...it all worked out and It was good times!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

*CRANIAL SACRAL THERAPY*

With the hundreds of remedies I've tried over the years to help my depression and anxiety disorder, I came across something called 'Cranial Sacral Therapy'about 6 years ago. I'm pretty sure my sister had heard about it suggested we try it. It was VERY interesting. I don't think a person could truly understand it unless you've done it. And I know for a fact I can't explain it to anyone. I had a very positive experience with this therapy, at least it was the best at the time that actually made me feel like I was being helped and healed in a sense. It was also very spiritual which is strange to say if once again, you haven't experienced it. I've been thinking of going back and having it done again. I also have thought that in the future I might like to practice this. It was pretty amazing. Anyhow...if you want to read up on it, the Wikipedia gives you the jest of it. I'll probably add a little more to this post later...but I'm tired and signing out for the night. :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craniosacral_therapy

Ps. I'm adding this little video that I watched and felt the lady did a pretty good job explaining it. I'm sure I will find a better one and replace this one.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

*PLEASE FIND ME!*

I know I'm a bootaholic...but these are seriously amazing. I saw them on gap.com. on a model that was selling the pants! No word on where to get the boots! Why do they do that? Looking for ways to get more money? SALE everything you display. I just searched a dozen websites, googled "Folded suede boots"....and I got everything BUT these ones. :( Whhaaaaaaaaa. I have promised to give a hefty reward to anyone who finds them for me. I'm dang serious! (Look at my face! That's a serious face!)You can contact me at kimzphotoz@gmail.com
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=50281&vid=1&pid=676701&scid=676701032

*UNIVERSAL VISION*

Sunday, November 01, 2009

*THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON*

American Fork, UT October 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

*THE RAVEN*

I love reading this during Halloween season.
(Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" only made 14 dollars for this brilliant piece! Rediculous!)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Friday, October 30, 2009

*Henny Penny, Kauly Wog, and Mr. Bleu*


I took a ton of photoz last time I was in California but haven't posted very many. I couldn't resist posting these ones! Soo cute!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

*AND WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST...*

...HE COMES.This one was taken at the beginning of my walk. This one was taken at the end of my walk. It was a pretty short walk...like around the block! ha! :)


October 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

*BOOTS, YOU'RE SO CRUEL!*

Last year I spent the whole of Autumn and Winter trying to find boots that I liked. My sisters both know the sorrow I felt at not finding a single pair that caught my eye. I was downtrodden and depressed as I obtained nothing but a fruitless search. The seasons went quickly and suddenly I find myself back to Autumn...and THE LIGHT HAS COME! Kind of. I have never seen SO many amazing boots in all my life. (Drama)...honestly! Everywhere I look I think, "I WANT THOSE! Those are the ONES! They are everything I've been looking for!" There's just ONE small problem. All the ones I want are rediculously expensive! And I can in no way justify buying them.

Growing up mom always took us school shopping and I was the one who never seemed to find anything I liked. I would go through the store with nothing that caught my eye....but THEN a moment would come when my heart would begin to sing and it was like the angels illuminated one paticular thing! It was ALWAYS the most expensive thing in the store. It drove my mom crazy. She still brings it up. "Somehow you always picked the most expensive thing." *shrug* Was it my fault? It's not like I went around looking at price tags! I guess I just have expensive taste. And so it is today...I have not changed. I have a love affair with shoez (most girls do) and I can't help but covet many of them. Now, now, don't you lecture me or judge me! You know you all have something you love like this! My guy friend recently told me that he only buyz DIESEL JEANS! Um hello! Those babyz are not cheap! We all have something we love! For me it's shoez and sometimes I would give my left foot for some! (Pun intended) Bah hahahhahaha

So yeah, I can't have any of these, but I would like to post them simply so I can remember how beautiful they are. Maybe Santa Claus will bring a pair? I highly doubt it...last year I got socks! Close enough? Hell no!
ps. Okay, so I did buy one pair of boots last month. It took my life savings but they are sooo worth it. Mwahhahahah

*My heroes"

I'm not sure If I have ever posted this video that I made on my personal heros who have endured depression and some who continue to. But it never hurts to share it again. I love these people so much...and anyone who has to bare this trial. Everyone of these men and woman left a HUGE mark on this world and are creative and gifted beyond words. I honor them, salute them, and respect them beyone my power to express. Many of them now rest from their labors in the arms of their Heavenly Father and truly are victors in the Kingdom of heaven and on earth. I have gained courage and hope from them to continue to fight a brutal battle.


Here are the names of those who are on this video. But they ended up not being in order. I also added a couple.

Virginia Woolf, Elie Wiesel, Abraham Lincoln, David Hyrum Smith, John Denver, Job of Old, Rainer Maria Rilke, Florence Nightingale, Mark Kozelek, T.E. Lawrence, Vincent Van Gogh, Greg Hanson, Emily Dickinson, Mark Haskin, Richard Dreyfuss, Sarah McLaclan, Winston Churchill, C.S. Lewis, Andy Gibb, Jeremiah of Old, Annie Lennox, Victor Hugo, Owen Wilson, Nate Larson, Edgar Allan Poe, Stewart Burnside, and my precious friend, Benjamin Thomas. Rest in peace my friend.

Please feel free to pass this along to those who might need to know that they don't suffer in vain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ik174mOQ5A

Sunday, October 25, 2009

*TREND ALERT!!!*


This is for real! I repeat, this is for real! It's not a joke! Pammy and I went to Target last month and I saw these everywhere! I HONESTLY thought they were Halloween costumes. Do you really want to look like a mountain lion!??? Not many things can break the bonds of friendship...but if you wear one of these (especially if it's REAL fur) I am dumping you...FOR-EVV-ERRRRR.

This is just embarrassing. I'll admit that I gave into some of the trends I posted on here that I swore I never would (tight rolled up jeans...love it!) But this...THIS is foul. Whoever started this trend should be shot.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

*RELIGIOUS FREEDOM IS BEING THREATENED*

"Elder Oaks has had a front-row seat in observing what he calls the “significant deterioration in the respect accorded to religion” in public life. Prior to his appointment to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder Oaks had an illustrious law career. He served as a justice on the Utah Supreme Court, was a professor at the University of Chicago Law School and Brigham Young University’s J. Reuben Clark Law School and clerked for Chief Justice Earl Warren of the United States Supreme Court.

Although his address on religious freedom was not written in response to the Proposition 8 battle over same- sex marriage in California, Elder Oaks likened the incidents of outrage against those who prevailed in establishing marriage between a man and a woman to the “widely condemned voter-intimidation of blacks in the South.”

He said members of the Church should not be deterred or coerced into silence by threats. “We must insist on our constitutional right and duty to exercise our religion, to vote our consciences on public issues, and to participate in elections and debates in the public square and the halls of justice.”

Elder Oaks also said religious freedom is being jeopardized by claims of newly alleged human rights. As an example, he referred to a set of principles published by an international human rights group which calls for governments to assure that all persons have the right to practice their religious beliefs regardless of sexual orientation or identity. Elder Oaks said, “This apparently proposes that governments require church practices to ignore gender differences. Any such effort to have governments invade religion to override religious doctrines should be resisted by all believers.”

Noting that the students he was addressing were among the generation that would face continuing challenges to religious freedom, Elder Oaks offered five points of counsel:

Speak with love and show patience, understanding and compassion to those with differing viewpoints.
Do not be deterred or coerced into silence by intimidation from opponents, insisting that churches and their members be able to speak out on issues without retaliation.
Insist on the freedom to preach the doctrines of their faith.
Be wise in political participation, remaining respectful of those who do not share their religious beliefs and contributing to reasonable discussion.
Be careful to never support or act on the idea that a person must subscribe to a specific set of religious beliefs in order to qualify for public office.
“Religious values and political realities are so interlinked in the origin and perpetuation of this nation that we cannot lose the influence of Christianity in the public square without seriously jeopardizing our freedoms,” Elder Oaks concluded. “I maintain that this is a political fact, well qualified for argument in the public square by religious people whose freedom to believe and act must always be protected by what is properly called our ‘First Freedom,’ the free exercise of religion.”

Elder Dallin H. Oaks

*I HEART*

I heart this song...
I heart Landon Pigg...
I heart his style...
I heart his hair..
I heart this video...

I DON'T heart that he's 25 and isn't my neighbor. ;)

Thursday, October 01, 2009

*MARE NUBIUM*


"Mare Nubium" is Sea of clouds in Latin and that is how the sky looked to me yesterday.

Photo taken for my friend, Kirsty. :)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

*FRUITY PEBBLES*

Wayne and I have started a new tradition of looking and taking pictures of the fall leaves up Provo canyon, grabbing a sandwich and sucker at sundance and just chillin'. Great time with a great friend! And can I say how beautiful the canyon is right now? IT IS!
Ps. Pammy always calls the leaves "fruity pebbles" and so that's where that comes from. :)





Saturday, September 26, 2009

*AKATHISIA*

I think that perhaps if I gave small glimpses into what happens to the mind and body of those who deal with depression/anxiety and the side effects that come from medications that in SOME cases are necessary....that it will bring a sense of ease to my mind to know that I am educating people (even if it's just a few)of this battle I and so many others face.

Because I have been dealing with Akathisia this the last couple of weeks, I thought it appropriate to share what it is. By reading these tiny blogs about depression, not only do you help me and others, you help yourself to be less ignorant, educated, and empathetic towards an illness that is so misunderstood.

"Akathisia, or acathisia, is a syndrome characterized by unpleasant sensations of "inner" restlessness that manifests itself with an inability to sit still or remain motionless (hence the word's origin in ancient Greek α (a), [without, not] + κάθισις (káthisis), [sitting]). Its most common cause is as a side effect of medications.
Akathisia may range in intensity from a mild sense of disquiet or anxiety (which may be easily overlooked) to a total inability to sit still, accompanied by overwhelming anxiety, malaise, and severe dysphoria (manifesting as an almost indescribable sense of terror and doom). The condition is difficult for the patient to describe and is often misdiagnosed.
[1] High-functioning patients have described the feeling as a sense of inner tension and torment or chemical torture. [2] While the administration of many antipsychotic medications can interrupt the basic levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and potentially lead to serious implications associated with long-term arrested development, akathisia is known to be a much stronger contributor, on its own, to the former comparatively to the latter. There is still an open discussion on the impacts of akathisia on persons with addictive behaviors, persons with substance abuse tendencies, persons with behavioral attributes that could lead to actions which may be considered as self-harming, moderate akathisia and the associated increase in internal drivers and when this side-effect may actually be a beneficial form of treatment when induced."

I'm on the MILD side of this...and even the mild side can be hell itself. Thanks for taking a minute to read this. There is a much more detailed explanation of the actual medications and illness's that can cause this...but honestly this is pretty much the jest of the actual feeling of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akathisia

*EVEN IF SAVING YOU SENT ME TO HEAVEN*

One song can bring such a powerful crushing memory to the mind in a split second. It doesn't help when the song is on repeat in your mind and you can't make it go away. A certain lyric made me wonder if a sacrifice in behalf of another is worth the pain and the price. Is carrying someone through those DEEP black waters to eternal shores, in hopes to rescue them worth it? I've always had a deep desire to love, help, and in a sense be an instrument in the Lords hand to help heal and inspire those who feel so lost. Those who feel they are drowning. I realize how it has made my life rich and beautiful and yet it has brought a pain that is unspeakable. I guess the question I'm asking myself is if what I did at a paticular moment in my life was worth it. Tonight...I don't think it was. Maybe in the next life I will.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Most people only want God in their lives as long as he "stays out of their hair"...but there WILL come a time in every man and womans life where they will long for Him to be the shepherd of their souls and the leader of their lives. They will come to realize they are nothing and He is everything. That all the time they were away, they had given up on their best friend, but he had never given up on them...and their hearts will break and rejoice simultaneously.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

*BAND OF HORSES*

I love them. A guy I dated almost ruined them for me (Girls, you know how they do that?) Well...I didn't let it happen. I think they are great!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

*NEW SURROUNDINGS*

Random photoz I've taken since I moved.
*ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL...THE LORD GOD MADE THEM ALL*