Saturday, January 31, 2009


Everyone does these tags on their blogs where they answer some questions about themselves or share some of their favorite things. And then they go and pick a handful of their friends and tag them to do the same thing. WELL...I have NEVER been tagged. Apparently I'm not kool enough to be part of their "circles". haha jk. But on facebook I got tagged like a dozen times in the same day. I gave in and then tagged my sisters. Here are a few random things about me. ;)

1. I have a "blankey" that I sleep with at night. I've had one for years and just got a new one. I Love it! Stop laughing! :P

2. I have a little bit of OCD in me. I have to brush my teeth after everything I eat or drink. If I was to have a glass of orange juice right now, I would have to go brush my teeth after. It's out of control. :)(I also have to change my socks about 3 times a day.)

3. I'm planning on writing a book someday. It will be on surviving depression. It will be a book that answers more questions than any other book on that subject that has ever been written. But I won't write it until I know more answers. Fingers crossed!

4. I have never been skiing even though I've told people I have! ha! I have no desire to and I hate being it's never gonna happen. The only way I could shut people up about it was to tell them I've already been and didn't like it. Sorry...for lieing. NOT! *smirk*

5. I get random cravings with food and then I will eat that same thing over and over until I never want to eat it again. Right now it's apples with peanut butter on them.

6. I was a public speaker for CES and a few other programs for 7 years. It was the most rewarding time of my entire life. I use to be terrified of speaking in front of people, and now I enjoy it.

7. Everytime I sing out loud, my cat goes running out of the room. Should that tell me something about my voice? :)

8. I went through an experience that made me lose much of my long term memory and much of my short term. There are moments in my life that are totally forgotten. I wouldn't even know about them had I not kept journals.

9. I have a potty mouth. Nothing is so unattractive than a girl who cusses. I blame it on living 15 years of my life in Pleasant Grove. :) Thanks heavens I moved! But I'm getting it under control.

10. I would love to hang out with Truman G. Madsen for a week and ask him a million questions. He is one of my greatest heros.

11. I love books and hope that someday I have my own library and be able to say that I've read every book in there.

12. I have to have a fan on when I sleep at night or I can't sleep.

13. I stopped drinking soda 15 years ago. I rarely if ever drink it. But sometimes you just gotta have a burns so good!

13. I've lived in both Northern and Southern California.

14. Right out of High School I worked at a place called "All cooped up." We cut from bundles of "DOLL HAIR" and then packaged it. All my close frieinds worked there and it was gooood times! hahha

15. I followed U2's Elevation tour in 2002 and even went to England and Ireland to see them. They rock my world. haha

16. I hate to cook. I live off cereal and my sisters dinners she makes. My sisters are both amazing cooks!

17. I love Hollywood gossip. I can't help myself. We all have our weakness's right? ;)

18. I LOVE people who are good "reactors." There is nothing better than when someone gets excited about things that happen to them or someone else. And there is nothing worse than a person who just sits there and say's something like "Oh that's kool" with no expression on their face. HELLLO!

19. I love shopping online and can't stand a mall.

20. The last two "serious" boyfriends I've had...I met online. :)

21. Southern Utah holds my heart. If ever I need to remember who I am or am in need of comfort...I go there.

22. I have over 30 journals!

23. I am quick to forgive but slow to forget.

24. My family is my strength and my salvation. I'm incredibly blessed to have been given the chance to know them.

25. And I've said it before and I'll say it again, sometimes I think of something so funny that I laugh myself to sleep at night. It's so much better than crying. ;)


1. When I read Kimmy and Pammies 25 things I said "I'm not doing that"... And then I felt guilty! Ya, so here it is guys.. just for you!

2. I hate the phone and sometimes wish I didn't even have one.

3. My sisters love animals, and I tell my Kids I'm allergic so we don't have to get one.

4. I love eighties workout videos and make Joe do them with me, they're a little seductive but so funny and who wouldn't want that eighties body!

5. I wish everyone had a Joe, no seriously, It's a count down the second he walks out the door. Everything is just more fun with Joe! Thank you Kendall and Jamie I never knew that night at the Bon Fire would change everything!!

6. I have worked in a Salon for 16 years now, and stay working just because my clients are some of my favorite friends.

7. Every time I think of my little boy Bleu I get teary eyed because he is so amazing. They're all awesome!! But there is just something about him.

8. I could look at design blogs and think about decorating a house 24 hours a day and I can't wait to do it! As for now I live through my best friends and sisters who are amazing at it!! And who know all the good stuff.

9. I am sad to leave Las Vegas.... I mean who wouldn't miss great food, shopping at all hours of the night, Thunder from Down Under, etc. etc. etc.

10. Speaking of Las Vegas, just before I turned in my mission papers I won a thousand dollars on a quarter machine and I was only 20. Thank you Pammy for stepping up, just in case they would have checked!

11. I still sing "Heavenly Father are you really there" when I get scared. And thank Heavenly Father every day for the spirit of Elijah, because it's healing my family.

12. I Hate that I still get insecure about what you might be thinking.

13. I love to be busy and I have a serious cleaning addiction, I'm just so sad that my house never looks like it!!!

14. I don't miss being a student and cried the day Joe told me he wanted to be an Endodontist. When everyone says "just two more years" I want to fight them!

15. I Wish I was just like my sister Sherri, she is so beautiful and talented. Plus I would have killer make-up!!!

16. When I lived in South Africa I think I could hear my Moms thoughts, sometimes I still think I can. weird huh!!!!

17. I want to go back to school and made Joe promise me when our kids grow up we can live in New York city for a semester.

18. I Hate to watch TV, it gives me anxiety!

19. I love Martha Stewart (the company, not her!) and could sit on their website all day.

20. I Moved to Jackson Hole the day after I graduated High school and am so thankful my best friend came with me!! She is still my biggest Hero!

21. I know all the flavors of Jelly bellies by their tastes..... no I really don't, but wouldn't that be a good thing to know. I always try, I think I'm close.

22. I love the Spring!!!! It's makes me so happy!

23. I like rap music and my sisters think I'm such a nerd!

24. My sister Kim almost died once.. I can't imagine a world without her in it!

25. This is so bad and I am sorry in advance, but one of my old boyfriends gave me his blog and I can't help but check it out on a weekly basis, it's getting to be as funny as the office! I mean lets all admit it..... who would have ever thought we would be flies on the walls of our old boyfriends??


#1- I hate when people tag me to do stupid stuff like this.. ;)

#2- I'm glad theres not more than 25 things to know about me because I can't think beyond 25!!

#3- I am the mommy of 4 boyz , one on a mission in South Africa, the other in High school, and two that are still practically nursing... One 8, the other 11.. Lol..

#3- My sisters are my "American Idols" not because their good singers, they're NOT! They are kinda like Simon and Paula, always helping me to become a star! :)

#4- I have ALWAYS been scared of snakes. but since I have been divorced... I'm not scared anymore!! Ha! True story...But I stilll don't want to hang out with one... :)

#5- I worked a K.F.C. when I was 16, and in the Salon biz from then tell 6yrs ago when I just became the mom. I owned 2 Salons and a Nail school. And some of my best friends came from there. I still use the K.F.C. motto- If you have time to lean... You have time to clean!

#6- I have gone to the Temple everyweek for almost 12yrs give-or-take a week. I call it the fountain of youth.
I've never seen an Angel there... Lol

#7- I learned to use the computer and type all in the last few years. Thanks to internet dating I've become quite the champ at it!

#8- I still want to have another baby! Outside of Utah, thats okay! :)

#9- I grew up being called by my middle name "Tiffany" but at age 10 started going by my first name "Pam" all my extended family still calls me Tiff,
Wish I'd never changed it!

#10- My little boyz sleep in my bed everynight..! And I sleep in the bunk-beds...
They're scared, what can I say...

#11- I've been single 6yrs, and I miss being married! But I hate dating!!

#12- I work for the state of Utah and the L.D.S church on: (The effects pornography can have on the family) Not the funnest job, but someone has to do it!

#13- Am I done yet?? Lol... Haha...

#14- I grew up as trailer trash, my parents own trailer parks. They're laughing all the way to the bank!

#15- My big brother loves the "Bee Gees" he's the 4th brothers Gibb. Now I love the Bee Gees because of him!

#16- I hate Ketchup, Mustard, and Mayo- If you give me a hamburger with it on it... I just won't eat.

#17- My little boy Zaxter sings "Good morning beautiful" to me every morning. My little boy Jaxton tells me I'm the worst mom in the world EVERY MORNING!!!!

#18- My awesome friend Dianna Simpson got me into MT Biking, but I hate it. I usually wine, cry, and swear the whole way up the mountain... But she keeps taking me... Go figure!! :)

#19- I wrote a childrens book called "Hotel Harbinger" and my friend invented a product to go with it. And we are going to market them together... Oh ya, the product is toothpaste that taste yucky, for kidz who swear... Like Jaxton Haha

#20- I cook big meals everynight and my kidz wish I could just be like any other mom and just make Mac & cheese, or Hot dogs, or Top Ramen. Thats what they tell me...

#21- I'm an advocate for the sinner... Probably because I believe people can change.

#22- I am too little to give blood. I just found that out last week.. Thats just stupid!!

#23- I'm in the best ward in the world. All my neighbors think they are in charge of me and tell me what to do on a daily basis... Ha... I luv it!

#24- My sister Kim almost died once.. I couldn't imagine a world without her in it!!

And last but not least 25!!! I think facebook is a great way to look at all the people who have crossed your path and realize... "It's a beautiful life"

Friday, January 30, 2009


My sister just sent me this video and immediately I knew it would be a spiritual talk of sorts :)... and frakly, I wasn't in the mood. As the constant daily battles have worn me down, I have felt annoyed and frustrated with God and "his plan for me." Ever asking the question, WHY??? Where is the great deliverer of all things? Where are the answers I cannot find? Where is the fruit of my good works and faith? Where is the fulfillment of the promises He has made to me?

Instead of deleting the email I hit "Play." I watched it in silence and the silence grew more still and more sacred. I felt that empty and angry spot being comforted and reassured that all is in place and all is how it should be.

Just hit play. Even if you don't want to.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


5 Years ago I came up with this idea that I wanted to try out with my photography. I wanted to take the past and mix it with modern day. It was a project for me that inspired me. So over the years I have taken my friends and asked them to be a part of this. I told them the look I wanted and then most of the time I let them dress themselves.:) It turned out to be really kool. I entitled the series of photoz, "Travelerz." Sadly I lost many of the photoz when my computer had a breakdown last year and have been unable to recover many of them. Also many of the photoz in the beginning were taken with film and I have never really transfered them to my computer. BUT I still have a few handfuls.

I am now stepping out of the "Vintage" look in my photography. It seems that everyone and their dog suddenly loves vintage. I insist that I was vintage before vintage was kool. ;) hahaha My camera is put away for a season and when & if I bring it back out- there will be a whole new look. No more old cars, suitcases, barns, traintracks...etc. My style will be ALL NEW. So in parting with my old ways, here is a last look at my little series.


Thursday, January 22, 2009


Last week I was laying in bed and feeling very fatigued. I looked over towards my blinds that are covered with a dark blue blanket. There was a small hole of light that was shining on a perfume bottle my mom gave me and It reflected a small rainbow in the mirror that it is placed on. Into my mind came a memory of being in young womens. I remember my teacher gave all of the class a small crystal charm. As you turned it around it did the same thing that I saw on the perfume bottle. She said to us, "You reflect WHO YOU ARE to others." The crystal was pretty...but when the light hit it, it was beautiful! Just something to think about. :)

I tried to capture a photo of it...but it doesn't really show what I saw.

Friday, January 16, 2009


I find it interesting and dissapointing in this life at how easy it is to toss someone in a "category" or make a very quick judgement call at first glance. The whole idea of "Judging a book by it's cover" is sadly a daily occurrence for most of us. Not that we necessarily do it on just seems to happen. I made a conscious decision when I was look look beyond the outter shell. It was a wise decision. How MANY dear friends I would have missed out on had I fallen victim to this. I guarantee, that if you look back on your life, you will find that many times you were often surprised that someone was not what you thought they were. Let me give you a quick example. When I was a freshman I had two so called "Butt Rockers" in one of my classes. They were obviously seen as scary, outcasts, pyschos...etc. But I soon found out, by making the effort to get to know them...that they were two VERY soft hearted kool guy's. It was all a facade. They had as much heart as anyone and I'm glad I got to see that. I'm also glad that I got to know Def Leppard from them! :) I now consider myself a bit of a "Butt Rocker" and I like it. :) I'm not saying that we be careless in getting to know people. It's important to listen to your heart/gut, be wise and choose friends carefully. The spirit of the Lord will guide us if we will listen and obey. And at the same time, give people the benefit of the doubt. A person who may appear ordinary, un-kool, or not the "Normal" type of person you usually hang out with...may end up being your best friend.

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors, or everlasting splendors."

C.S. Lewis

I think that pretty much say's it all.


She's back and she's blogging again...:)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


If you haven't noticed, I like to put together little videos. The program I have is sooo old and basically there is no clarity and the sound is NOT good. BUT...I think it still get's the point across.

It has been a rough couple of weeks for my sisters and I. I had found this song a year or two ago and it touched my heart. It's sadly a very short song but I decided it was the one!

Here's to my sisters...who always astound me with their loyalty to the me and the Lord.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


In this case...YES. What on earth has Robert Pattinson done to his beautiful locks?! It's a damn shame! He needed to shave his chest and leave his hairdo alone.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


"No Line On The Horizon, the new studio album from U2, will be released on Monday March 2nd 2009."

My joy knows no end! I'm already starting to save my pennys! U2 I come!

Friday, January 09, 2009


Yesterday an old friend wrote me and let me know that a girl we both worked with has lung cancer and only days to live. She asked if me and my family would pray for her. I replied saying this,

"I will pray for her and her family. There truly is strength in numbers and I believe in the power of prayer. Even if it just transfers her more smoothly to the other side of the veil and brings more comfort to the family."

I'm sad. I'm sad for their family and for her pain. I feel that angels are around her and her family and I do hope that they feel the many prayers in their behalf.

Life is hard. It just is. Today was a hard day with my depression. Everything hurts. My heart hurts, my mind hurts, my body hurts and even my spirit hurts. We all have our battles and I have mine. Sometimes we are a Frodo and sometimes we are a Sam. (If you've never seen Lord Of The Rings, go watch it!) I prefer being a Frodo simply because as I have before stated...I can't stand to watch others suffer. I think the Lord is going to have to take me out of this joint early, because I can't even watch an Ant be stepped on without bawling. :)

I wish we could just be given a few miny breaks where we could walk through the veil and just hang out with the Savior for awhile and rest. Even the beloved Joseph Smith stated,

"Sometimes I get so tired and long for my rest."

As I continued to struggle through the evening, I looked outside and the clouds were illuminated in pink! I grabbed my camera and took a shot of the beautiful sunset. When I put the photo on my computer I found that the glare of my blinds had made the picture appear as though I was looking through a veil. I was looking at a beautiful sky that God had created. He was showing me his handiwork and in his own way telling me that He was with me to give me a miny break. (A VERY SMALL ONE! DANG IT! hahah :) But I feel blessed to know He is there. He is there to welcome home my old friend (bless her forever!), give us miny breaks and to help us all see beyond the veil.


...I have them. :( But I'm still trying to look up as best as I can.

Saturday, January 03, 2009