Saturday, December 11, 2010


So here is the only good thing that came out of November, my little sister Jen, had a beautiful baby girl.  Her name is Olive Haven Packer.  "Oli" is what we call her.  She was a little 5 pounder and about as cute as they come.  I don't think it's possible for my sister to have anything but stunningly beautiful children.  I flew out to visit them in Cali. and to be honest, I only lived through that month because of her and my cute nephews and niece, Henley.  Oli's little spirit is so peaceful and sweet.  While letting Jen have a nap, I held her for 3 hours.  That's like a record for me.  I couldn't help but stare at her and kiss her cheeks off.  I'll be honest, it didn't give me any greater desire to have children, but I was amazed as always...with how special these little spirits are.  And I thought, "Oli, I know that you know this...but you got sent to a great family!  And they will love you, cherish you, and make you laugh tons!" :)

She's beautiful...and so is her mother.  It amazes me to think that MY little sister has four children.  I honestly believe I love them as much as she does.  As I was struggling while visiting, there were love notes and hand drawn pictures, hugs and kisses that were constantly given to me.  I felt so happy to know that these little kids love their Aunt Kim as much as she loves them.  They make my life more beautiful and more bearable.

Olive, welcome to the family! :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010


This October was the best month I've had in years. I even found a lucky penny. I could say it brought me luck, but it actually brought me blessings.

October 2010

(Snow represents stored blessings, while rain represents blessings being given.)

"Went on a long walk today...went to cross the road and saw a lucky penny shining in the sun. I usually leave those for others but, as I looked at it closely you could tell that sucker had been run over a 1000 times. I thought to myself, "that penny has been waiting for me! I deserve it!" So I put it in my pocket, smiled, ...and kept walking. Then it started to rain. ha!

Ps. When my friend saw a picture of the penny, she said; "That really does look like it's been run over a million times!" :)

*No one's gonna love you...*

...more than I do. Too beautiful not to post. Great band of Horses song, but even better acoustic version.

Monday, November 08, 2010

*New Fran Healy*

The new solo album "Wreckorder" is A for AWESOME.  This is my favorite song so far.

Dancing in the distance

Breaking through the night

Path of least resistance

Fallen to earth

Gone in the morning

Only to return

Without warning

I should have wished

When I had the chance

Gone like the water

In my hand

I would do anything

Anything for you now

I would go anywhere

Anywhere at all

Don’t wanna lose you

Lose you to anyone

I could be anyone

Anyone at all

Look in the sky

Down by Orion

Below the plough

Cancer sits with the lion

Preying upon

Your seven sisters

Sprawled on the lawn

Playing with Ursa Minor

I wish I could feel like a child again



Everywhere you turn

There’s derision

Glued to the mobile and the television

Sun has gone down

Something breaks the horizon

Moving so fast

Hard to focus my eyes on

I wish you were here

With me tonight

Stuck on the island


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

*Post surgery 2*

So, it's been over two weeks now that I've been home from my surgery.  I guess I knew it would take some time to get on my feet again but it's still sore and I've been really weak.  At least I don't have to roll and cringe when I get into bed anymore AND I've been able to sleep a bit more...which is rare.  On the flip side...I still can't eat.  I wake up nausitated (sorry people who are pregnant...not fun!) It last until about 2pm.  I have to choke down something before then.  I've lost some weight and my butt looks cuter in my that's kool! (that's my positive thinking ;)  Other than that, I really am grateful every day to still be here.  I'm looking forward to a full recovery in more ways than one.  I think my boats are docked. :)

Friday, October 01, 2010

"You wanna be the Lone Ranger, or the Cisco Kid?"

I can't believe it's been 17 years this month that River Phoenix died. It's so sad! He was brilliant and I was bound and determined to marry him. ;) I knew he would love my brace face and Grand Finale big hair at age 13. He was my wallpaper...I wish I had a picture it was awesome. I wonder what the future could have held for him. :(

"Running On Empty was my favorite movie of his."

Sunday, September 26, 2010


So, this will be quick because I'm not feeling so well.  Just got out of the hospital 3 days ago after an emergency surgery.  I woke up on the 16th in the worst pain.  I felt like someone had shot me in the stomach.  I paced my house for over an hour and once I couldn't got off my knees, I finally told my mom to get me to a hospital.  After a CT scan it was obvious that my intestines were twisted.  After a blessing and family prayer...I was on a hospital gurney on my way to surgery.  I was scared to death but knew after what they had told me that really this was life threatening.  To shorten the story, The procedure took four hours and had my family in a state deep concern, but I was blessed to have a successful outcome.  It could have been so much worse.  I will save most of the details, but they took about 8 inches of my intestines out and had to do a few other things.  Then they stapled me back up.  Yes, STAPLED me.  I have a lovely S shape on my stomach that makes me feel like the sorting hat (Harry Potter) put me in the "Slythern House" and branded me with their mark.  BOO!  Now I'm stuck with a lovely scar. :(  But I'm really not complaining, I'm alive.  On the exact same day, my cousin died of a drug overdose, he was not as lucky as I.  We are all broken hearted and continue to pray for peace and comfort over his family.  Life throws so many curve us cards we don't want.  I sure didn't want this.  It's an awful surgery, not mild.  The first two days we couldn't find a medication to stop the pain.  Not Morphine or anything.  I felt like I would die in pain.  By the end of the second day, they found something that helped, but NEVER really relieved it.  My sweet mother stayed by my side the whole time.  Even spending the nights with me.  I was scared and in pain, I wondered how I would heal.  But now that it's a week later, I'm doing much better.  I'm able to get up and around (slowly but surely) I have to hold my stomach to take deep breaths, yawn, cough, stretch, or anything like those.  Be GRATEFUL for those things.  And I'm starting to eat more than popsicles, pudding, and cream of wheat.  But I have zero appetite.  I've lost at least ten pounds and hope to get more of a desire to eat back soon.

Anyhow, thats the condensed version and really the other details are neither here nor there.  I'm thankful for so many people who prayed for me and sent such kind messages.  Also, I had a great staff at the hospital who looked after me, and I'm grateful for that too.

Friday, September 17, 2010

*I just can't shake it...but I HAVE to*

I heard a U2 song from this guy on YouTube a couple years ago and I thought it was amazing how he orchestrates them in this unique instrumental style.  This is his newest and I just heard it an hour ago.  I think it's great.  I've heard "With or without you" a million times and it never gets old...but this was a refreshing way to hear one of the greatest songs I've ever heard.  Not only that, it made me feel something I haven't felt in years...I don't really know how to say what that feeling is...but I think I'll try before this feeling leaves me.  This will not make sense to hardly you can just sit back and listen to this kool ten minute song or read along and be okay with it not making sense.

Things come full circle
Where once you were will be redeemed
God has heard EVERY prayer you have EVER made.
The sounding within ears reach...
Yes meant Yes and it was ALL real.
This is a powerful story...and it has an ending...and the ending is magnificent!
Suffering brings much that ONE voice can reach the end of the can change
The year of the rising sun must be seen on every continent
The air is empty and beyond silent...because you have to dig down deeeep and find it in yourself again.  You have to believe in those long drives...the walks...the ones you take alone and hear HIS voice.  Every song, every verse, every revelation, every word accompanied by the spirit of the Lord.  It is all the sound of victory!  It is the sound of one of the most meaningful stories that will ever be told....or ever be known.  Even if it's only for some ears to hear...and some eyes to see.  It is's is IS real.

I can't shake it...but I HAVE to.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

*Things that make you go hmmm...*

Love the song!
Love the video!
At first I thought...huh?...hmmm?..."  And then all the sudden... crescendo!!!!!!! and then you just have a big smile on your face as you're dancin' & tappin' your toes while watching nerdy chunkers run, dance, and sing! BRAVO Temper Trap!  Bravo!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

*Eat up!*

"I doubt the world holds for anyone a more soul stirring surprise than the first adventure with Ice cream.
~Heywood Broun

Friday, August 13, 2010

*Bright Star/Ben Whishaw*

I watched "Bright Star" last night.  Not recommended unless you are a girl who likes weepy movies.  Ben Whishaw is an amazing actor. Loved the movie...loved him. Great new actor.
"There is a holiness to the hearts affection you know nothing about!"
Ps. I also love that I have found a new poet to study.  John Keats.


  Sometimes you aren't still in love with're in love with the memory of them.  You might think you are.... BUT sometimes its the love that you once had for them.  It most likely wouldn't be the same if it came around again...because people change, our hearts change, our lives change.  It's hard to come to an understanding of that and seperate your feelings from the past and the present.  Some people can't.  This lyric say's it best to me, "can you hear it?  A cry to be free!  Oh i'm forever under lock and key."  They can't let go...they just can't free themselves no matter how hard they try.  (some say that time heals all...I don't always believe that.)

  This song is perfect for sort of understanding that.  I've loved it since High School.  I still don't know how to let go of some of the memories of a couple people I loved...their "ghosts."  Maybe we aren't meant to.  I loved this one boy a handful of years back and he has never left me.  I wish he would...I'm in love with his memory and if he knocked on my door now, it wouldn't be the same...or would it?  I guess I'll never know.
(This is obviously my interpretation.  That's the beauty of get to interpretate it the way you see it or feel it.)

Ps. This is a living "ghost"...not a heavenly one. ;) Or actually It could be someone on the other side of the veil...I guess it's how YOU look at. :)

there's a letter on the desktop

that i dug out of a drawer

the last truce we ever came to

in our adolescent war

and i start to feel the fever

from the warm air through the screen

you come regular like seasons

shadowing my dreams

and the mississippi's mighty

but it starts in minnesota

at a place that you could walk across

with five steps down

and i guess that's how you started

like a pinprick to my heart

but at this point you rush right through me

and i start to drown

and there's not enough room

in this world for my pain

signals cross and love gets lost

and time passed makes it plain

of all my demon spirits

i need you the most

i'm in love with your ghost

i'm in love with your ghost

dark and dangerous like a secret

that gets whispered in a hush

(don't tell a soul)

when i wake the things i dreamt about you

last night make me blush

(don't tell a soul)

and you kiss me like a lover

then you sting me like a viper

i go follow to the river

play your memory like a piper

and i feel it like a sickness

how this love is killing me

i'd walk into the fingers

of your fire willingly

and dance the edge of sanity

i've never been this close

i'm in love with your ghost

unknowing captor

you never know how much you

pierce my spirit

but i can't touch you

can you hear it

a cry to be free

oh i'm forever under lock and key

as you pass through me

now i see your face before me

i would launch a thousand ships

to bring your heart back to my island

as the sand beneath me slips

as i burn up in your presence

and i know now how it feels

to be weakened like achilles

with you always at my heels

this bitter pill i swallow

is the silence that i keep

it poisons me i can't swim free

the river is too deep

though i'm baptized by your touch

i am no worse than most

in love with your ghost

you are shadowing my dreams

(in love with your ghost)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

*I've fallen for...*

...THE NATIONAL...and I'm head over heels.

Monday, August 09, 2010

*The Wanderer*

He said come wander with me love

Come wander with me

Away from this sad world

Come wander with me

He came from the sunset

He came from the sea

He came from my sorrow

And can love only me

Oh where is the wanderer

Who wandered this way

He's passed on his wandering

And will never go away

Come wander with me love

Come wander with me

Away from this sad world

Come wander with me

He sang of a sweet love

Of dreams that would be

But I was sworn to another

And could never be free
(Thanks Jen)

Saturday, August 07, 2010

*I'm as shocked as you are!*

Har Har Har
I've never caught a picture of lightning before...for many reasons.  But the other morning...the heavens were kind.  No tripod and shaky still turned out pretty kool! 

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

*Things we carry, daily*

A few of my friends and I do a photo challenge each month.  This month was "Things you carry, daily."
We carry alot of things on a daily basis as far as emotion. Some of it weighs us down...some of it makes us stronger. It depends on what we do with it.

*Kim's Photo*


Tuesday, August 03, 2010

*Who am I?*

                            *I am half agony, half hope*
No quote ever fit me more.
~ Jane Austin

Monday, August 02, 2010

"Dearest sister..."

I just got an return email from my brother, Randy.  An email in which he starts out with the words, "Dearest sister" and preceeds to reply to a video I sent out and the impact it had on him.  Before I go on, let me tell you who he is. He is not my brother by blood...but my brother nonetheless.  He became a close and instant friend at age 16...when I met him on a trip to visit a friend in California.  My family fell in love with him and he became our brother emotionally.  He has always been someone who has made me feel like a queen.  He has shown such deep love and respect for me as his sister and has helped me become the person I am today.  I have always called him a modern day Moroni.  He fights righteously for freedom and a peaceful world.  Randy is a rare soul...his insight makes one wonder, "Who is this man?" and his writings and language are magnificent. He honors women and has always honored me.  He is open about his weaknesses and his desire to do better, to work harder to bring his life closer and closer to the Saviors. Without him knowing, he has helped me to hold out faithful in waiting for a man with such calibre, valor, and kindness as he has.  A man with a deep respect for who I am...a daughter of God.   Having a friend like him for 20 years is a gift...he is a gift. 

So back to the words, "Dearest sister"...those words brought much emotion to me today.  Those two words had great power on my heart.  All the things I have said above came to mind and I felt hope again that there are still good men in this world.  That just maybe there is someone out there for me who will treat me like he has.  It was also a reminder that I have been blessed much and am seen as someone "dear."

Thank you my brother, thank you so much!

Sunday, August 01, 2010

*Let's have a little respect*

I love this photo. Rare is a person who doesn't have a flippant/snotty/prideful attitude on the different opinions of politics & religion. How SAD it becomes when  one holds resentment or actually rids a friend because of a different outlook or perspective. Those who choose to respect are the wisest among us.
I have had my own moments of feistiness over said subjects and said things I regretted...but I work hard to respect the many views by those I know and love...and those I don't know.  It can be a real challenge for highly opinionated people...but shows character when we love unconditionally.

Friday, July 30, 2010


Could you answer the way this man does? Or can you barely get past a hurtful remark that your neighbor made?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

*A little FAWN...A little STORY*

I just saw a fawn outside my mothers house.  It just stared at me and had something so gentle about it. It seemed to be so loving and you could feel it. It stayed for a moment and then slowly walked away. My mom was on the other side of the house and saw it too. I came in and decided to find out some symbolism on fawns. (I like other people's symbolism...or to find out where some of it really comes from.) I found this little Native American story and I loved it. A sweet but important lesson.


"The Fawn represents gentleness, caring and kindness. Her gentleness is within The Great Spirit’s lodge and embodies His love for all. The Deer teaches people to find the gentleness of spirit that heals all wounds, to not try to change others, accept them as they are and that the only balance of power is compassion and love.

The Fawn heard The Great Spirit calling her. On the way to His lodge, she encountered a horrid demon who tried to keep all creatures from the lodge by making them think Spirit didn’t want to be bothered by them. This made him feel powerful.

When The Fawn met the demon, she was curious, not scared. The demon was ugly, breathed fire and made horrible sounds. The Fawn asked him to let her pass because she was on the way to see Spirit, her eyes filled with compassion. He was shocked by her fearlessness. Her love penetrated his hardened heart and his body shrank to the size of a walnut. Her gentleness and caring cleared the path for all of Spirit’s children to visit Him without the fear of demons blocking their way."

Ps. I did not take this photo but randomly found it and would love to give credit to whoever took it, if I knew who they were.  The fawn didn't look like was actually older and taller...but had the same meekness.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

*Have you ever seen anything so beautiful...*

Okay...I will get back to the first journal entry I found and meant to write about later.  It's going to take too long for now.  But tonight I grabbed a journal from 1999.  I didn't look for today's date but just opened it to see where it would take me...and this is what I read,

Febuary 7, 1999

"I'm at the Marriott Center right now sitting about the 5th row up in portal Q. And across the way, probably in portal F is my little sister, Jen. I can see her from here! There are probably around 20,000 people here for the fireside to see and hear Elder Thomas S. Monson of the Quorom Of The First Presidency Speak to us. How strange that I can see my sister! She shines! I like to watch her smile and talk with her friends. She's sitting in the deaf section because her friend Brian is friends with a lot of the deaf young adults."

As I read this...of course I got choked up. I had forgotten about this (do you see how amazing keeping a journal can be?) and it tugged at my heart.  I had looked across a huge stadium and saw MY sister amongst thousands of people.  What are the odds?  There were was by the Lords hand.  He showed me my sister...and truly her light shined.  The quote I have loved so much all my life applied much to me that night and still does.

"Have you ever seen anything so beautiful, as when a face lights up in a crowd just for you!"  She had no idea her spirits light was lit just for me that night...that I could see her and be so proud that she was MY sister.  There was nothing more beautiful.  What a great memory. :)

Side Note:  Here are a couple notes I took from the fireside.

"We cannot ask God to guide our footsteps unless we are willing to move our feet."

"You can win your race.  The Eternal "Score Keeper" is and I don't run alone."

"We tend to become like those we admire."

"The door of history turns on small hinges."

"Do not take counsel from your fears...whom God calls...God qualifies."

"Compassion is not weakness and violence is not strength."


Just kidding. WRITE! I promise you will never ever regret it.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Dear Nate,

It's been awhile since I've written...I don't have a good excuse.  I could say that I'm super busy or that my computer isn't working...but I guess you'd know I was lying. ;)  I don't know how it's been four months since you left...feels like yesterday and it feels like years ago.  Strange how that is.  When I went to Moab last month I felt really healed...there is something about that place that seems to quiet all the screaming and pain in my mind.  Sometimes its just the quietness of Arches itself.  Being in the middle of nomans land with the sky full of stars so bright and shadows of red of the closest places to heaven in my opinion.  I came home feeling a little more comforted and for a few weeks you slipped quietly away as I dealt with other things.  But as you know, grief loves a sucker punch!  I've had so many this last week that I literally have been bent over both pleading and shaking my hand at God.  Some say you can't do that...I beg to differ.  God is my best friend.  I love the classic line in "Some kind of wonderful" goes something like this,

Keith: They always say you hurt the ones you love.
Watts: Then why aren't you beating the sh*t out of Amanda Jones?

ha!  So true.  So sooo true.  Sometimes I love God to the fullest that is in me.  And I will have a true understanding of the great worth and purpose of suffering.  I also feel his love for me to a great capacity in allowing me to go through such deep trials.  But then...sometimes...I just feel like he hates me. :(  Stupid I know...but it's just the way my mind works and obviously (to me) because of all that has happened in my life.  Pain conjurs up feelings that take huge stabs at your faith and your heart.  It also attempts to take away the pure understanding that God is love and his love is the one constant in the universe. Sometimes he just feels like the enemy and not the Savior.  Some say that one day all things will make sense...I don't think I buy that.  I think someday we will just accept that a lot of things just happened and we could have learned from it or not.  I'm sick of learning heavens lessons...I need a break. (Please?!! :) Nate, I bet you love that your knowledge has increased ten thousand more. ;)  Lucky!

So yeah, this is short...not much to say.  When I'm hurting the most, I turn into a mute. I miss you and love you.  I hope your getting the royal healing treatment....I have no doubt you are, my dear friend. *wink*

Love, Kimmy

Ps. on our way to Moab I was in the back seat and my friends were playing music.  This song came on and within minutes the tears rolled down my cheeks.  I stared out the window and then looked up to see my friend look in the mirror back at me and give me that knowing and understaning smile.  When the song was done, she said, "I had no idea how much that fit you and Nate's relationship."  I smiled and nodded my head.  I can't explain why to just does fit.  I think out of all the songs I've heard...this one is kind of our song.  It just say's what words can't ever say.  Even the obnoxious part in the has it's purpose and place.


I love this song. My little sister sent it to me one night when I needed a little something from heaven. Sometimes you just simply find that your family is that something from heaven. That night, she was my heaven. Can't wait to see her soon-ish! :)

*The Heart Of Life Lyrics*

~ John Mayer

I hate to see you cry

Lying there in that position

There's things you need to hear

So turn off your tears and listen


Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No, it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good


You know it's nothing new

Bad news never had good timing

Then the circle of your friends

Will defend the silver lining


Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No, it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good


Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

Fear is a friend who's misunderstood

But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

Thursday, July 08, 2010



I have a love/hate relationship with my memories of summer & boyz.  But sometimes they make me smile...this song makes me smile and even smirk a little.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010


This is one of my favorite books of all time!  About 3-4 years ago my mom and I were walking out of a boutique and there on a bench was a book with a bright orange sticky note that said, "Pick me up" mom pointed it out to me so I walked over and picked it up.  It was the book "It's always something" by Gilda Radner.  Apparently there is this group of people who started a book sharing experience where you read a book and then leave it in a random place when you're finished.   You place the orange sticky tab on it, which has a website that you get on, say where you picked it up and then you find out where else it has been in the world.  A really neat idea.  I, without a doubt, know I was suppose to read this book.  It is amazing and I would highly recommend it to ANYONE in any phase of life.  It's a quick read and you will find yourself laughing and maybe crying a little.  I looked at the world different when I was finished and learned alot from this great woman.  It came into my mind today while I was reading something else and It made me want to read it again.  So it, you won't regret it I promise.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

*Happy belated 4th of July*

From my yours!


It's blueberry season!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Fine Art & Symbolism*

There is only one thing which can master the perplexed stuff of epic material into unity; and that is, an ability to see in particular human experience some significant symbolism of man's general destiny.
~Lascelles Abercrombie

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Thursday, July 01, 2010


Definitely the best one so far!  I LOVED it!  We had a great time and as you can tell we got some sweet shots of us reenacting some scenes and being awesome! (we are not nerds...we are kool!)  All the photoz are taken by Miss Valerie. :)

Ps. I don't know why it's adding an extra white box on the second photo...I also don't know why you can't enlarge the photo by clicking on it. Happened when I changed my blog up. *shrug*

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I heart you bed!

Oh my GOSH!  I am in love with this bed.  I want it...I covet it...I want someone to rock me to sleep in it.  (what if this was the answer to all my sleeping problems?) I also want to get rid of the ugly maroon get up and trade those colors and style for something closer to my taste.  Of course this beauty is made in Germany...where all brilliant minds come from!  My friend Markus is into this kind of thing...or was...and he made the sweetest bed out of well...I can't explain it.  But the whole bottom of the bed lit up!  I need to ask him for a photo of it.  Anyhow...all I can say is, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!" ???

Ps. If I ever get my wish, I will become the queen of meditation!
Pss. Whenever I've been on a cruise, I sleep like a dream!  So I'm not worried about getting sea sick.


The winner of the world cup will receive this real silver, sugarfree, vitamin c, chocolate wrapper that was designed in the dark by a talented/charming artist who goes simply by her pen name, Corn Wallace. The cost was 1 billion dollars and 49 cents. I would like to say that it was inspired by team India.

Ps. Is the world cup over yet?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

*Books, sparkle shoez, and Aruba"

I'm reading, *The short second life of Bree Tanner* in my new blue suede shoez...I mean sparkle shoez...and tapping them while saying, "There's no place like Aruba!". Think it will work? 

*Random iPhone Photoz*

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

*Dancing under a million starz*

This photo was taken by one of my very best friends, Valerie Haskin. It was taken in the middle of Arches around midnight. Not a single sound but the clicking of cameras and some music. :) We had Wayne's headlights on us and the music from our car blaring. Some had their cameras ready to catch the lighting and the stars...and some of us...well, me and Christine decided to dance instead! So under this majestic sky, we lost ourselves in the beats of the 80'z and 90'z and even pulled out all the moves from the dance scene in Footloose!! A night to remember? You have no idea. I will never forget it! And my friends got amazing shots! In Valerie's own words,

"One of my favorite photography moments...every time the lightning lit up the sky we all cheered with delight because we "captured" it."

We also captured happiness and I captured peace of mind and gratitude for my Father in heaven and his beautiful world. Oh and some seriously awesome moves! ;)


My friend Wayne introduced me to *Leslie Hall* on our trip to Moab. We sat up in the middle of the night peeing our pants over how funny this lady is! I so wish I was her! "Ah ahhhhhhhhh!" Her phone calls/RING MY BELL are my fave!

Monday, June 14, 2010

*Half the fun is the road itself*

Valerie put together this little video of us driving through Moab and on the way home from Moab. Half the fun of a road trip is actually the drive itself. Good friends, good converstaion, good music, and beautiful scenery. Thanx Val, for this fun video! :D

Photos/Video by Valerie Haskin
Ps. That is Wayne and Dustin driving in front of us in the BMW. :)

Sunday, June 06, 2010

*A Sunday Quote*

C. S. Lewis, who had such unusual insight into “things as they really are” (Jacob 4:13), had this to say about what we can do once we get the perspective of immortality clearly in our minds:

“The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He [Christ] is going to make us creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were ‘Gods’ and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him—for we can prevent Him, if we choose—He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said” (Mere Christianity, London: Fount Paperbacks, 1977, p. 172).

Monday, May 31, 2010


This flower grew amongst the weeds in our yard but I never focused on them...I only saw the flower. It soon became trampled on by the recent rain and snow...but it survived. Nate WAS/IS a survivor. He lived longer than I thought he would through all the hell he went through and surrounded him. So this flower is for you, Snake. I would lay it on your headstone but my printer doesn't work. ;) ;) ha!
(Oh and your headstone isn't there yet so I might have had a hard time finding you.)

*Nate, I honor you*

Dear Nate, On this memorial is your day alone to me. I will spend this day honoring you and respecting your faithful and beautiful life. God be with you until we meet again.

Love, Kimmy

ps. All of the nature photos were taken while I was on a walk and talking to Nate at the same time. The rest of that week I've never seen so many beautiful sunsets and I know why. :)

Sunday, May 30, 2010

*Shepherds Of Israel*

I have always loved this talk/story. Helps you understand the importance of EACH CHILD OF GOD...and his personal love for you. ALSO...our calling in this life to be a shepherd of sorts to those within our lives.

*Shepherds of Israel*

~John R. Lasater

"I am aware, more than at any other time in my life, of the great responsibility that rests on the shoulders of those who carry out assignments at this pulpit. Nevertheless, I rejoice in the blessing and opportunity that is now mine to add my personal witness regarding the divinity of this great work to which we have been called.

The personal nature of the Lord’s ministry as the Master Shepherd should be the pattern for all who shepherd the flocks of Israel. The depth of His love, His willingness to give freely of Himself, His undeviating loyalty and devotion to the cause shared so completely with His Father, and His constant attention to the needs of the one stand as hallmarks of the true shepherd’s calling.

Some years ago, it was my privilege to visit the country of Morocco as part of an official United States government delegation. As part of that visit, we were invited to travel some distance into the desert to visit some ruins. Five large black limousines moved across the beautiful Moroccan countryside at considerable speed. I was riding in the third limousine, which had lagged some distance behind the second. As we topped the brow of a hill, we noticed that the limousine in front of us had pulled off to the side of the road. As we drew nearer, I sensed that an accident had occurred and suggested to my driver that we stop. The scene before us has remained with me for these many years.

An old shepherd, in the long, flowing robes of the Savior’s day, was standing near the limousine in conversation with the driver. Nearby, I noted a small flock of sheep numbering not more than fifteen or twenty. An accident had occurred. The king’s vehicle had struck and injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd. The driver of the vehicle was explaining to him the law of the land. Because the king’s vehicle had injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd, he was now entitled to one hundred times its value at maturity. However, under the same law, the injured sheep must be slain and the meat divided among the people. My interpreter hastily added, “But the old shepherd will not accept the money. They never do.”

Startled, I asked him why. And he added, “Because of the love he has for each of his sheep.” It was then that I noticed the old shepherd reach down, lift the injured lamb in his arms, and place it in a large pouch on the front of his robe. He kept stroking its head, repeating the same word over and over again. When I asked the meaning of the word, I was informed, “Oh, he is calling it by name. All of his sheep have a name, for he is their shepherd, and the good shepherds know each one of their sheep by name.”

It was as my driver predicted. The money was refused, and the old shepherd with his small flock of sheep, with the injured one tucked safely in the pouch on his robe, disappeared into the beautiful deserts of Morocco.

As we continued our journey toward the ruins, my interpreter shared with me more of the traditions and practices of the shepherds of that land. Each evening at sundown, for example, the shepherds bring their small flocks of sheep to a common enclosure where they are secured against the wolves that roam the deserts of Morocco. A single shepherd then is employed to guard the gate until morning. Then the shepherds come to the enclosure one by one, enter therein, and call forth their sheep—by name. The sheep will not hearken unto the voice of a stranger but will leave the enclosure only in the care of their true shepherd, confident and secure because the shepherd knows their names and they know his voice.

The words of the Master Shepherd rang loudly in my ears:

“But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.

“To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.

“And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.

“And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers” (John 10:2–5).

My dear brothers and sisters, there are great lessons to be learned from these stirring words of the Master Shepherd. Into our hands, as members of this great Church, has been given responsibility to be the true shepherds unto the flocks of Israel. Do we understand the personal nature of the shepherd’s call? Whether we go as home teachers or visiting teachers, whether we serve as auxiliary leaders or teachers, or priesthood leaders at whatever level, we have received a divine injunction from God, through a living prophet, to become personal shepherds and ministers. No, it is not a new call; it has always been so.

Do we know our sheep, each one, by name? Do they know our voice, or must they hearken unto the voices of strangers? Do they know us as true shepherds who love them, who willingly and freely give time and attention to their needs, and, in that marvelous process, instill the confidence and security so greatly needed in God’s children today? Are we then able to lead them into full activity in the Church and onward to immortality and eternal life? Do we go before them, constantly reassuring and building confidence because they know our voice?

Or are we strangers unto many? I promise you that you will not be a stranger, that you cannot be if you come to know the voice of the Master Shepherd, for that voice will confirm what a prophet has declared, and the Spirit will direct your efforts. And then, and only then, you will become a true shepherd in Israel.

There can be no greater example of the very personal nature of a true shepherd’s call than the events of that Easter weekend nearly two thousand years ago—the depth of the Master Shepherd’s love, His willingness to give freely of Himself, His undeviating loyalty and devotion to the cause, and His constant attention to the needs of the one. Those same qualities must mark our ministries as the shepherds of Israel.

I testify, with all the fervency of my soul, regarding the need we have to be true shepherds and to come to know the personal nature of the true shepherd’s call. As one of His shepherds, I bear witness of the sacred responsibility that has been placed on our shoulders to be true shepherds unto the flocks of Israel and to know the personal nature of that calling. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Do you see these little munchkins below? The apple of their Aunt Kim's eyes? Well...heh more apple is on it's way!!! :D In a little over 5 months Jen is having a baby! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I am so excited for her, the family, and well...ME. They are not sure if it's a girl or boy yet but my guess is a boy. No matter what I can't wait to meet that precious little spirit. Love you Jen and Joe! Congratulations!

Ps. If you're reading this and you know Jen, don't congratulate her on her facebook wall...not sure if she wants me to announce it to the whole facebook world. ;)(I'm pretty sure that about 10 people read this not many will hear the news from me. :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010


One of the things I love most about my family (and my best friends family who I consider my own) is that we are GOOD REACTORS! In other words, we get excited about the simple things in life and the really awesome things in life. Finding out that my nephew got to come home a week early for Christmas, listening to a friend announce where they are going on their misson, finding out that a sibling is having a baby, watching your nephew open up his Christmas present you gave him and see his eyes get big with delight, your friend telling you that she kissed the boy that she's wanted to kiss forever...and then a year later finding out that she's engaged, getting the orange wellie boots you've wanted in the mail (I put them on and jumped up and down!) when you never ordered them but your sister did to cheer you up, finding out the new sequel to The Hunger games is almost here, or that U2, your favorite band of all time has decided to come to UTAH! I can't tell you how happy my family was for me! My sister was so happy for me when I called her on the phone that she said she had butteflies in her stomache for me. How awesome is THAT? And the list goes on...

We are just genuinely happy for each other. This sometimes includes jumping up and down, clapping, giving high fives and hugs, big smiles and lot's of happy words! Just anything to show how excited we are for their moment...what ever it may be. I have a super hard time with people who are not. It's not always their fault! It's not their fault that when you give them a gift and they make no expression at all and say, "Thanks" or when they hear some of the things I said above they simply say, "Oh that's kool" and that's it. And I whisper under my breath, "Tragically born without a personality." I'm sorry if you think that's rude...but come on! Can you not even make a facial expression of some sorts? A bigger smile then normal? Perhaps it comes easier to us for some reason, but it can also be learned!!! I've seen the non expressive become expressive and it was very fun to witness the change. I think the best example is little children. They are so full of life and happiness and find joy at every corner! Think of them at birthday's and Christmas! When they want to show you the picture they drew! I gave my nephew some stickers last time he was in town and you've never seen such joy in a childs face. STICKERS!? Yep...children are the best example. And it's not just when you get's when life gives you a blessing of sorts, an accomplishment happens, an opportunity is given, etc.

So for all you good reactors...I applaud you! (pun intended ;) And especially my family. Lifes so much funner with you in it! I feel happy when I get to share something...because I know they will be happy too. (Most the time!) ;)

And for those of you who struggle with it, or you are saying "That's just not my personality" Well...if you're fine with that, then kool. But give it a shot sometime...maybe you'll find that it suits you. ;)

This is a video I saw today on Ellen. I kept smiling and wanted to clap for them! They all got gifts from Ellen and they were so excited! And it just reminded me of all that I just said. It makes me happy to watch it...and it's also quite fun to be the one rejoicing for others as well!

Ps. We are not near as loud or obnoxious as this crowd...well I don't think we are and I'm pretty sure anyone who has witnessed these moments don't think we are either. (who cares about anyone who does! Go away! hahaha)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

*Frogs flying*

I was looking for a photo today and going through my hundreds of other photoz when I saw this one of Kaul & Bleu. I could just hear in my mind a conversation between them that would sound something like this,

Bleu has the cutest little imagination and can be very dramatic. While Kaul is mostly aloof to him and sometimes a stinker. I love that Bleu always calls his brother KAULY instead of Kaul. More endearing! :) And as you can was written in what I like to call "Bleu's accent." :) His little voice just melts your heart. Actually I adore everything that BOTH of them say and do. They are so pure in heart. I love them so much! And they always make me laugh.

Ps. This was never a real conversation between them but, they do have two water frogs named Ribbit and Spike! hahahha

Sunday, May 16, 2010

*A letter of Love from Jen*

My sister Jen, wrote me this the day after Nate's funeral. She had flown out to be with me as I attended his funeral. This was a big deal because she had to make many sacrifices to get here. I'll never forget as long as I live, walking up to the pulpit with all the courage I had and looking out into the audience to see my best friends all looking at me with support and love. Christine, Valerie, Pammy, Mom, and Jen. An overwhelming feeling came over me that even the most beautiful language could never express. I looked straight into Jen's eyes and the love I felt for her and from her was as pure as heaven itself. I could hear her saying, "I'm here." And suddenly I knew I could I do it. I could say boldy the things that needed to be said and offer up my whole heart in honoring my friend. And then to get this message from her that she posted on facebook was another gift that has stayed with me...not just the words, but the way it made me feel.

"I have always known what an amazing friend you were. I've watched you lift and strengthen those around you my whole life. You are the one who taught me and lived by the quote " A true friend loves you, watches over you and helps you return to God with honor." But over the last few months I've had the chance to talk with and see so many of your dear friends who are so grateful for the love, compassion, support and strength you've offered them. It has been overwhelming for me to see how many lives you've touched and hearts you've helped heal. Hearing you speak at Nates funeral and feeling of the love he had for you was so beautiful and made me so proud to have you as my sister. I would have sent you this as a private note but I feel like I speak for all of us... friends, family and Nate when I say thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the love and kindness you've shown us and the faith and understanding you've always had for all of us. If we could heal you with our love you would have been healed long ago. I love you with all my heart and pray with all that I have that this burden will be lifted from you. Thank you for letting me spend this weekend with you and for being so happy to see me. ;)"

Could I ask for anything more in this world? NO! And to even THINK of asking for anything even at this very moment seems so selfish. I have family and friends who love me. And as much love as I have tried to send out over my life...has come back to me ten fold.

Thank you sister, for walking with me...down the long and winding road.

Monday, May 10, 2010


All I can say to this, is thanks Bono for all the happy and inspiring moments you've brought into my life and millions of others. U2 is by far the most influential band of my life! Can't wait to see you in June and hope we have many more years of your music, soul, wisdom, and PASSION on this earth! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

"We don't become a monster in order to defeat a monster."


It was a good week for music and me. We've taken a break quite often over the last year or so. I think I get to a point where all I want is total silence. Sometimes music is too much noise. And then there's times like now when I've needed it. Heaven has been speaking loud and clear to me through music.

My cousin posted a song this week on her facebook page. I had forgotten about it but had never forgotten how much I loved it. One of those songs that was on repeat as I drove on one of my MANY drives up Provo Canyon when I needed to think and try and place my thoughts. I love when you find literature/music/poetry that say's everything you can't. I've learned to open my mouth WIDE in speaking boldly but for a long time I had sooo much I couldn't get out. Volumes of thoughts & feelings AND LOVE that was being stifled simply because I didn't have a place to put them other then my journals...which is why I have almost 30. :) I remember once writing when I was younger, "I wish people loved me as much as I love them." And I really felt that way...I had so much love in me and I didn't know what to do with it. And then one day I get asked to be a speaker for the church educational system. Um do you go from being bottled up lack of a more beautiful way of expressing it, spewing all those thoughts and feelings through a microphone? You step up the pulpit and open your mouth with faith in the Lord.

CES was only the beginning for me. It led to many opportunies where I was able to both speak/teach on many subjects in many places. Seven years of speaking in front of large crowds and small classrooms was never forseen by me. I had no idea that THOSE were the avenues that the Lord would ask me to walk through. Like I said, I learned to speak boldly and say things that people are afraid to say, things that I was afraid to say. But when the Lord took me in hand, words came out of my mouth that even I was shocked at and they came out in a way that was almost overwhelming to me. At the end of speaking I would see all these people looking at me, no heads were down and I knew more than ever in my life, my own nothingness and that God could do anything. What I would say did NOT come from me, I was simply the instrument. Most people can attest that I stumble a bit over my words in person. Me telling a story ends up in much laughter because I usually can't get it out right. But when The Lord needed something to be said, it came out with power and emotion. I always wanted to disappear after. I did NOT want credit, attention, or even the emotions both good and bad that came from people. But It was a great season of my life and it really gave me that opportunity to share the feelings of my share all that love that I so much wanted to give away. I learned about myself, God, life, people, and about my purpose at that time.

So what does this have to do with a song? This song was kind of how I felt before I was able to find my voice. You can be your own worst enemy and sometimes I was. I was way harder on myself then anyone else was. I was full of fear and it kept me from doing things I wanted to. I was kind of stuck inside myself. This song is so perfect in how simple but vulnerable the words are and how she sings them. She starts out singing softly and then it turns into powerful emotion. And thats how it was for me. I truly had to find my voice in this life and at a young age. Then I had to learn how to hone that voice and the emotion that came with it. It's a big leap and takes courage when you learn to stop holding your tongue and be more open. But something remarkable happens with your personal confidence when you do and miracles happen. They happened for me.

The song is called *ME* by Paula Cole. I love this version. Lyrics below.
Ps. The last minute of the song she gets a little quirky and adds words to the song I've never that point I hit stop. ;)Somewhere around 5:20.

I am not the person who is singing
I am the silent one inside
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes
I just pacify their egos
I am not my house, my car, my songs
They are only just stops along my way
I am like the winter
I'm a dark cold female
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave

And it's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying my heart
I am carrying my rhythm
I am carrying my prayers
But you can't kill my spirit
It's soaring and it's strong
Like a mountain
I'll go on and on
But when my wings are folded
The brightly colored moth
Blends into the dirt into the ground

And it's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing I love
And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing I love
I love!
I love!
I love!
I love!
I love!

I am walking on the bridge
I am over the water
And I'm scared as hell
But I know there's something better
Yes I know there's something better
Yes I know, I know, yes I know

And It's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I love!
I love!
I love!
I love!
I love!

Sunday, May 09, 2010


Mom, Thanks for your love and example of true compassion over the years. You are a light to hundreds of people...including me. It really is true, all our family needs is YOU! You have always been the heart of our home. I LOVE YOU!

Friday, May 07, 2010

*CHRISTINE'S STINK FACE* this such a classic photo?! I'm bound and determined to make it into a greeting card someday. I LOVE that my best friend still makes this face. hahahah Love you stine. 20 years of being my best friend...I couldn't have been more blessed, you are everything and more of what I wished for in a best friend when I was a teenager. ;) God was good to me when he sent me you.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

*Nate's funeral talk-Audio*

I debated over whether or not I wanted to post this, but I had an overwhelming feeling to share it. So if you want to hear me crying alot, stumbling over my words, and sharing my thoughts on my dear may. :)

*My talk at Nate's funeral*

I had no idea that our talks at Nate's funeral were being taped. But as I've listened to them, I'm glad I have it. This is my talk. It was given with much emotion both laughter and tears. And I hope the spirit in which I gave the talk was conveyed to those who listened and maybe those who read this.

Brothers and sisters, I am honored to be here today to honor my friend, my beloved Nate. I want to start out by giving you a quick rundown about how I know Nate. I came into the Ridgemont 18th Ward in 2002. I was called for a short amount of time to teach 24 to 30 year-olds, even though I was in that category at the time. Nate is three years younger than I am and I walked into the classroom and Nate had his feet on another chair with his arms folded. I thought I had just walked into the CTR B's class. :) He stared at me and I began to teach. Some of the time he put his hand over his mouth like he was going to start laughing. I thought, "You little brat!" I wanted to kick him out so badly! But I did other things. I assigned him to say the prayer almost every time, I called on him to read scriptures and slowly but surely we became very good friends. :)

Nate went to Mexico with me and my family and we had some hilarious moments with him. They were falsely accused of riding some scooters. Well, they were riding some scooters and one of them got scratched (so they told my family) and it was just like this big mess! Nate kind of got feisty with them and the next thing we knew, a 300-pound man was chasing Nate down the street. Nate was just in his flip-flops, shorts, and no shirt. I saw him running and running and running! His flip-flops are flying off and long story short, Nate survived! And we were grateful for that!

Nate used to tease me just like he teased everyone else. One of things he always said to me was, "Kim, you like me!" I was like, "Whatever, Nate!" He said, "You think I'm sooo cute!" I was like, "YOU are so into yourself! I cannot believe you!" But he said it ALL the time. "You think I'm soooooooo cute!" (laughing) and then as we spent time over those two years, Nate and I were wonderful friends. And then I moved away. A few years later--let me back up shortly. I've had terrible depression since I was 21 years old. I'm 36 now. It is a terrible illness. Brothers and sisters, maybe people don't believe it, but it is as serious as cancer or ANY OTHER illness--and darker. And Nate knew that about me. And like I said, a few years later he contacted me. And without me even being able to say, "Hey Nate, how are you?" He said, "Kim, I had no idea what you were going through. Had I known, I would have been a better friend. But I know now. I know Kim what you suffer because I suffer, too. And I want you to know that you're an angel. And I'm so sorry!"

Thus began a beautiful friendship between us that was far deeper than it was about six years before. Over the last three years, both of us have suffered deeply to the point where sometimes--most of the time--we are unable to leave our homes. We felt trapped. And even though I never walked in Nate's shoes and he never walked in mine--and we went through different things--but we wore the same brand. We spent the last three years with many phone calls talking about life, talking about all of his dreams and hopes. He was ridiculously intelligent. He had plans to save and do amazing things in this world. We laughed, and when Natalie passed away, we wept together. I said, "Oh, Nate! If I could take this from you I would!" And he often said those words to me. Now, I want to tell you a couple of experiences quickly about this week as Nate passed away. Nate has definitely still been here and has been near me. And Clixe (#2) put on Facebook the little memorial thing. And there was a picture of Nate. And Nate and I hadn't seen each other in over a year. It was all phone calls and emails because of how sick we both were. And here is this picture of Nate with this long hair and I took a double-take. And I'm going to be honest, my heart skipped a beat. And I looked at that picture, and as clear as day I heard the words, "You think I'm sooo cute! You love that long hair, don't you?" And I sat there and I said, "NATE, I am mourning over you! Do you mind?!" And then in my mind's eye, I saw tears rolling down his face. He just wanted me to smile for a minute.

Nate, in front of this whole congregation, I always thought you were cute! But now I think you're beautiful! You were NOT a failure--EVER! You suffered things that most people will never suffer in this life. And I will NEVER EVER judge you! And I pray with all my heart that no one in this congregation will judge him, either. He is wrapped in the arms of His Savior and not only that, he is a warring angel and he will fight this epidemic of suicide, depression, and all that comes with it. He will fight for the little ones, he will fight for the young adults, and he will fight for the elderly. He will never ever leave his family, his beloved family.

One last thing...well two, I'm trying to make it quick. Umm...I actually think that Nate stole my scriptures because I can't find my Bible, so if you guys see them ("Kim Curtis"), they are out there somewhere and I'm pretty sure he did that. He's like that. Oh, well. Thanks, sis! (My sister walked up to the pulpit and handed them to me :)

On the program it says these words, "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain, Nate...(crying)...for the former things are passed away."

BUT there is a verse on there that was not on the program. And it is the most important to me. "And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things NEW. Write for these words are TRUE and FAITHFUL." (Revelations 21:4-5)

Nate, everything is going to be made new for you. You go bounce on those clouds and you run around and you have a beautiful future! And we will remember you with all of our hearts. And last, I promise last, this is my song for Nate. And I'm not going to sing it because everyone would run screaming from the building. I cannot sing AT ALL.

fare thee well
my own true love
farewell for awhile
i'm going away
but i'll be back
though i go 10,000 miles

10,000 miles
my own true love
10,000 miles or more
the rocks may melt
and the seas may burn
if i do not return

oh don't you see
that lonesome dove
sitting on an ivy tree
she's weeping for
her own love
as i shall weep for mine
oh come ye back
my sweet friend
and stay a while with me

if I had a friend
all on this earth
you were that friend to me!"

(10,000 miles by Mary Chapin Carpenter)

I bear my testimony that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that those beautiful promises of being together forever are very much real. Nate, I love you, I miss you, I know you're here...I think you're beautiful.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I stole this flower from the church yard to take to the cemetery. Nate would have been proud. ;)

Side note for my benefit: At the end of my talk, Nate's father got up to speak and the first words he said were, "Kim, you were Nate's angel on this earth and I'm sure that he will be your angel throughout eternity." I will always cherish those words. Thanks Pete. :)

Side Note 2: The story of the Mexico is totally messed up. The real story will have to remain with those who were there or heard it with Nate's own mouth. I barely gave a drop of it...and I messed up. Sorry!

Monday, May 03, 2010

*Dallas & Alex's wedding*

On Saturday, May 1, first nephew Dallas Curtis, was married in the Logan Temple to Alex Johnson. It was a strange feeling for me to witness this grown man as he was once a little boy who sat on my lap. I couldn't have been more proud and It was a beautiful as you will see. I was not their photographer. I stayed out of her way (She was SO nice and darling! Can't wait to see her photoz!) But I had to take a few of my own. The family kind of expects it as they know mine are a bit different...kind of artsy...kind of "KIM-ISH." ;)