Sunday, March 11, 2012

*Saying goodbye to Kim'z Warm Asylum for good*

The year 2006 started my journey on this blog of mine. A time of great struggle, I took my trials in front of an audience. AND, I did it purposely. I had things that needed to be said and needed to be heard. There were people out there who needed a bold soul to say things that they wouldn't dare say for fear of what others might think of them. Now, as I enter 2012, I look back on this and see the deep waters I was asked to cross and my own table of bitter cups I had to partake of to become more acquainted with Christ. I had no idea in 2006 that my struggles would get worse than they had been before. I am astonished that I am still alive. I don't say that lightly.

The story of The Lord Of The Rings best fits my own life but especially recent years. God gave me my own ring and let me know that I was the only one who could carry it and destroy it. But like Frodo, I had a companion. A beloved sister who would carry me when I could no longer walk, remind me of beauty and goodness when I could no longer see, helped me cast out Gollum and even gave her last bits of food to me. A selfless and brave woman, my sister, Pammy. My Sam. I can't say that I didn't have so many others that helped me through my journey. Each one coming at just the right time to hand me their lanterns to help me see in the dark. I cherish them and see them as "The Fellowship"...and last but not least, the Holy One of Israel, Jesus Christ. He is my Gandalf. Many times He has had to step back and allow me to suffer without intervening. Even when I begged him to! And yet, I knew His eyes never left me. He was there but I could not feel Him. I am sad to say that I cursed him many times but almost immediately was on my knees letting him know I was sorry and that I loved and needed Him. His compassion has been shown to me many times with those "tender mercies" and they sustained me and caused me to press forward.

The last two years have been the hardest. Just like Frodo after tossing in the ring, he became lifeless, thinking that even though he completed what he was asked to do, it was the end for him. I too felt that way. It started with the loss of my home. The only thing I had that I felt I had to call my own. It was my haven. Then the suicide of a beloved friend...then a dear cousin losing his life to an overdose of heroine...then a surgery that could have ended my own life and was accompanied by a lack of anything that would help the pain...then my first ray of sunlight through someone that came bounding into my life and then decided to delete me from his life as if I never existed and at no fault of my own. This by far was greater than losing someone to death and brought me to a state of paralysis. For a solid year my only ability was to keep myself breathing and waiting for the eagles to pick me up, just as Frodo and Sam did. The beginning of 2012, only 2 1/2 months ago...the eagles came. Now, I am feeling the first rays of light and although they sting my eyes and burn my frail body, it is strengthing me and taking me homeward...where that destination is, I'm not sure yet, but I know it will be a place of safety, healing and happiness. I know I will have the same experience as Joseph Smith when he was released from Liberty Jail and told beforehand, "Thy friends do stand by thee and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands." (D&C 121:9)

I am very proud of the woman I have become through these trials. I believe the coming year is "the year of the rising sun" in my life and my ships are arriving slowly but surely, the sounding horn is soon to blown into the fresh air and God will deliver me from this particular journey. It will take time and small steps but I believe that truly the upcoming chapter of my life will be the beginning of beautiful things, things that I have felt robbed of...and that God will keep and deliver His promises. "Behold, I make ALL THINGS NEW." So I hold my cup of HOPE high to the heavens and open my heart to a new chapter of life. May it be so!

Thanks to all my friends and those who have followed this blog.  I have been so blessed by you and thank you for the kind words you have shared with me over the years.

Goodbye My Warm Asylum...the sunshine awaits me. ;)

Ps. In time I hope to start a new blog, but for the time being, I have returned to my journals and am happy about it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

*Saying Goodbye to David Kelly*

David Kelly, one of my favorite actors from my favorite comedy of ALL time, "Waking Ned Devine", passed away yesterday. He was hysterical and a great actor!
*raising my glass and saing, "CHEERS! May you rest from your earthly labors and find joy and happiness in your next adventure!"*

Thursday, February 09, 2012

*Sweethearts & family*

The word "Family" can be the most beautiful word in the whole world. It holds within it other such lovely words; Sweethearts, children, safety, home, joy and LOVE!

I opened my journal from 2001 the other day and read some notes I had taken from the talk by President Gordon B. Hinckley, Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Here are some quotes from it.

*Behold your little ones*
Ensign June 2001

"The home in which I lived, where there was a father who, by some quiet magic, was able to discipline his children without the use of any instrument of punishments, though on occasion they may have deserved it."

"Do you want a spirit of love to grow in the world? Start within the walls of your own home. Behold your little ones and see within them the wonders of God, from whose presence they have recently come."

"My father never laid a hand on me except to bless me."

Brigham Young said: "a child loves the smile of it's mother but hates her frowns. I tell the mother to not allow the children to indulge in evils, but at the same time treat them with mildness. Treat them to love you rather than fear you." (same with fathers of course)

President Hinckley refering to a neighbor in his childhood who whipped his childhood friends in vicious anger said;

"I have seen the fruits of that neighbors temper come alive again in the troubled lives of his children."

These notes were wonderful to read. I thought of my brothers Larry and Randy along with my brother in law, Joe. Their children do not fear them but have truly been treated as a child should be. Several grown into some of the most love and respected people you could ever meet (just ask around ;) They are loved as the savior loves...purely. Their faces light up when they see them and you can feel the love they have for them. I respect them and also appreciate the many fathers and mothers who "Behold their little ones" with awe and reverence. Who also make them feel safe in an unsafe world, and provide a haven of love in their homes and arms.

I loved this video I found today. This video shows the spirit of love between a family. I know it's real and is attainable. As an aunt I also strive to and expect of myself to love, honor, and cherish children.

Monday, January 23, 2012

*Mr. Coke & Waffle House*

Try not to pee your pants laughing.


Rowbby The Sheeth

Monday, January 09, 2012

*Childish innocence*

This song is my boyfriend. He sings to me at night, dances with me in the kitchen, makes me smile when I feel like crying, makes me cry from laughing too hard, helps my "visions dance" and has even asked me, "will you be my girlfriend?" Who does that anymore? Here are two quotes in one;

"The world is full of guys, be a MAN! And yet... Never lose your childish innocence. It's the most important thing."

Kim Curtis= el soƱador

Ps. The lyrics say everything. They are PERFECT.

"there's a fawn with brown eyes
a broken hoof from brooklyn stars
a summer night
i dreamt i learned how not to speak,
let go of words,
let go of her - to let her be
there's a fawn in all my dreams,
i guard the sun,
i guard the moon - i don't need sleep
with my mouth i shake the leaves
your eyes get wide you want to leave
when i write my clumsy heart
will crack it's cage, shoot stars apart
last night i tore through the cupboards
the medicine already gone
i stumbled past the discovery
waiting and willing for dawn
i believe i know what's right
what comes into long brooklyn nights
with belief the moon will rise,
give to the shore then turn the tide
there's a fawn of city trees,
of sidewalk trees she won't belong,
no not to me."

By matt pond pa "Brooklyn Fawn"

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

*Hello 2012*

I'm a liar. I HAVE to keep blogging because I have too much to say! I sometimes need a gag order to keep my mouth shut. ;) So, I'm back after a whole couple of days. ha! *shaking my head at myself*

I read about Elliott Smith today. It was hard to read about his sorrows, demons, and his terrible death. What a talented and beautiful soul. His music is one of a kind. He was screaming for help but no one could reach him. I believe that some pains of this life can only be healed on the other side of the veil, especially those with tormented minds. I know he's found peace there.

"The tender mercies of the Lord are over all his people..."

I know that Elliot and many others who felt they could not endure this life are receiving those tender mercies and are being given The Lords gift of healing of mind, body and soul. God bless all of them. I will never judge them.

I really liked this cover version that Elliott did of John Lennon's 'Jealous Guy.'

Sunday, January 01, 2012

*Goodbye 2011 *

This is my theme song for 2012. It gives me the butterflies and this feeling of hope for the future. Not many songs can really do that for me. It's crucial for me to keep my cup of hope full. To remember who I am, and shine as brightly as Brandon Flowers does in this video. ;)

P.s. These words have a lot of symbolism in them.
P.s.s. I have a lot of respect for Brandon Flowers. He changed his whole life around because of the truth or rather the "fire that was still burning" in his heart. He reminds me a lot of Enos from the Book of Mormon.

OH! One last thing. If you want to read an amazing book, read "Beloved Enos" by Denver C. Snuffer Jr. (If you're not Mormon, you might want to read the book of Mormon first and the chapter about Enos.) I had no idea how much symbolism was in that ONE chapter! Talk about an incredible soul!


Look back in silence; the cradle of your whole life.
There in the distance, loosing its greatest pride.
Nothing is easy, nothing is sacred. Why?
Where did the bow break?
It happened before your time.

There were people there, lovely as you've ever been.
Baby you can start again.
Laughing in the open air; have yourself another dream.
Baby we can start again.

Only the young can break away, break away.
Lost when the wind blow; on your own, ohh..
Only the young can break away, break away.
Lost when the wind blow; on your own, ohh...

Mother its cold here. Father thy will be done.
Thunder and lightening crashing down.
They got me on the run, direct me to the sun. (SON)
Redemption keeps my covers clean tonight.

Baby we can start again.

Only the young can break away, break away.
Lost when the wind blow; on your own, ohh...
Only the young can break away, break away.
Lost when the wind blow; on your own, ohh...

And the sun will shine again.
And the sun will shine again.
Are you looking for a sign?
Or are you caught up in the light?

Only the young can break away, break away.
Lost when the wind blow; on your own, ohh...
Only the young can break away, break away.
Lost when the wind blow; on your own, ohh...

Only the young can...
Lost when the wind blow...
Only the young can...
Lost when the wind blow...

Are you caught up in the light?"

Ps."Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day."

Okay, I HAD to post this too because I adore it.

Recognize 2:09! How friggin' amazing is his voice? And his suspenders? ha!