Saturday, February 19, 2011

*Unconditional love makes you free"

I use to love the movie "Meet Joe Black." I probably still do, I just haven't watched it in a long time and really don't remember it. :) But a couple days ago I was reminded of these words from it and how much they reminded me of unconditional love,

Joe Black: ...But Allison loves you?
Quince: [Quince nods yes between stifled sobs]
Joe Black: How do you know?
Quince: Because she knows the worst thing about me and it's okay.
Quince: You're free! You're free to love each other completely,
totally. Just no fear. So there's nothing you don't know about each
other, and it's okay.

When someone knows so much about you, the things that maybe YOU think are the "worst things" about yourself, and they still love you and see beyond those things... that is when love takes on a whole new meaning. It becomes the PUREST form of love in all the world. That is real freedom, not confinement.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

My crystal star necklace. It was my Grandmas. I've had it around my neck for 7 years and I NEVER take it off. I only lost it for a half a day and it was a full blown miracle that we found it. Phewww. I love it. it's a sign of promised deliverance from my afflictions and a reminder to have hope that God keeps his promises.

Ps. I wanted to give you four different angles of it so you could see how it shimmers. Just twist your head from left to right...or right to left...really fast. heh heh

Monday, February 14, 2011

*Day 06 - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day*

I have no response to this. Honestly, I couldn't think of a single person. I racked my brain and...nothin'! I got nothin'! The only thing that came to mind was a healthy person. Someone who sleeps through the night without any sleeping meds and wakes up happy. Whoaaa is me. Sorry...but it's true. That's my final answer....someone healthy.

Ps. My ex-boyfriend gave me this card a few years back. I still laugh at it. I told him it's usually the other way around...but he insisted it wasn't. :) I thought I would share it just for a good laugh. I realize it has nothing to do with anything. Two people not sleeping? That's close enough. *shrug*

Sunday, February 13, 2011

*Happy D-Day...I mean V-Day*


I can't think of a single Valentines day that I LOVED! Okay...there are a couple (that means TWO) that come to mind and then the rest are the parties that my friends and I have thrown. Mostly, I think the holiday sucks rocks! But hey, all you loverz out there...go out and have a fab time! I'll be getting wasted on Pear flavor Martinelli's and watching Pride & Predj...while yelling obscenities at Mr. Darcy until he get's rid of his damn pride.

*fakest smile ever* Muah! xoxo

*Photo challenge- day 5...One of your favorite memories*


Okay, first thing that came to mind was the U2 concert at Anaheim stadium in 2001. There are no words to describe it. I was going to Hollywood makeup school in downtown Hollywood and living in Burbank. A girl in my class was doing my makeup and talking about the U2 Elevation concert that night and how NOT excited she was. I was like, "Are you kidding me?! There's a U2 concert tonight and you're not excited to go?" She said, "Are you a big fan or what?" She then said, "I have an extra ticket, do you wanna come?" *Silence* then *Serious? YES!* and then...*Yelling and jumping up and down* The saddest part is that I have NO photos of that night. :( I didn't think you could bring cameras in and so I didn't. I was on the FRONT ROW at the point of the HEART! Bono and I squeezed hands for crying out loud!...but honestly I'm kind of glad it happened that way. It's just me and one of the greatest memories of my life. I have been to every concert starting from Zoo. And some of them more than once. The Elevation tour I went a handful of times and even flew to England. So, here is a photo of me holding my Vertigo ticket 2004, just as me and my sister were getting ready to go rock.  (a 2004 pic is close enough :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

*Pam'z Beeeday*

I missed it. I was sick. I gave her a present though and she said she had a GREAT day! Yay! That's what I wished for her. I take birthdays serious and like to make a bit of a fuss. I kind of sucked this year, but hey...you can't win 'em all.


Ps. She wanted this T-shirt that say's "Mafia Texas" with a big star on it. Jk I think it say's Marla? *shrug* it's cute though. I also gave her "stretchy pants" (leggings) and some books she wanted. Umm...The Art Of Manliness was for a friend of hers. Although I plan on reading it myself and whipping some men into shape! Pitchah!!! (that's the sound of my whip!) ha!
Pss. This was day 4 of the challenge.  Share a photo of your night.  Exciting.

*Freedom is ringing in Egypt*

Important day to note in history. After an 18 day protest of millions of people for Freedom from dominion and oppression in Egypt...or as one man called it, "30 decades of corruption under the hands of Egypt's President Hosni Mubarak." Today that president stepped down, gave his resignation and the country is now FREE. And as I watched the people celebrate...the chant was mostly the same, "Egypt is FREE!" What a brilliant feeling that we take for granted so often (myself included.) It goes to show that a revolution is possible everywhere when righteousness challenges darkness. It will be intesting to see how this moment in time effects other countries and even our own.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELOVED PAMMY*


On this day, in 1968, Pamela Tiffany Curtis came into the world...and the world has never been the same. God was kind and allowed me to be her sister. Her name could and will be in some of the greatest books in the world that tell of the greatest stories of heroine's this world has ever known. The kind of women whose acts and life are almost to sacred to speak of...almost to grande for the human language to express. She is courage, she is faith, she is endurance, she is kindness, she is perseverance, she is strength, she is mercy, she is love. She is also her sisters' (plural) keeper. The last 8 years have been grueling for her and for our family. We have had many beautiful things as well...but we have truly been through the refiners fire. We have suffered to a degree that we never dreamed we would have too...and without Pam, none of us would have made it. She is a "behind the scenes" servant. There will come a day when all of her friends, family, and foe's (which are few but sadly cruel and malicious souls) who will be astounded...speechless...and humbled at what she has done in their behalf. She loves with a huge heart and not only loved the easy to love...but has "Blessed them that cursed her, and prayed for those which despitefully used her." I often find myself saying, "WHO ARE YOU?" because she is truly one of heaven's most faithful daughters. And she is WONDER WOMAN!

I could go on and on...but I just want to say that I love her. I think everyone knows that my sisters are my life, my laughter, my partners in crime, my gems. I love them like peanut butter loves jelly. It's that deep. :)

Pammy is not on Facebook anymore, and for those who don't know my sister and those who do...will you do me a favor as friends of mine? Say a little prayer for her...that her LONG awaited blessings will come to her? She has served her heart out and I think it's time for some miracles to happen to her. May this be one of the best years of her life! Bring it on!

Love you Sis, Soph, Sam...hero.

Kimmy*

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

*30 Day Challenge- Day 3*

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

One of the greatest tragedy's in American History was when 'Arrested Development' was canceled!!! I wept like a new born baby when tossed out of the womb. This show very much resembles my own family...in other words we relate a little too much. I'm Buster. "Hey Brother!"

*30 Day Challenge...Day 2"

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.


 This is a piece of cake.  It's my best friend of 21 years, Stine.  She is my total opposite and my total twin. I could write a novel about how she has taught me to love God more, love others, love myself, and most importantly she has taught me what real friendship is.  It's when the most bitter trials of life come upon us...not only do you stand by your friend, you carry them and then sometimes you make them laugh until they pee their pants. (Both are required ;)  And most of all you remind them of their worth. I guess I could simply say, she is as kool as Rock & Roll.  And what's kooler than that?  Thanks for being my "ROCK", Christine. ;) I thank Heavenly Father everyday for you and that you have never given up on me.


Ps. This is a photo of us in 1993.  When we wore clothes that looked like mens, crystals around our necks, listened to Pearl Jam all the time, and cleared the dance floors with our awesome moves at THE PALACE & THE BAY! (The girl in the middle is my friend from High School, Emily Beeson Galland.)
Pss. Second photo is us at the Travis concert.  We had been waiting FOR-EV-ERRR for them to come to Utah.  Our joy knew no bounds.  2009

Sunday, February 06, 2011

*Mustard Packets + Human Combustion*

This was one of the funniest status update conversations my friend had going on the other day.  I voted it the best of the week.  I just took a photo of them (one of the beautys of the iPhone.) Enjoy! I laughed until I was sick. 
(The missing word in the second one is to "fill" his empty tummy.)


Saturday, February 05, 2011

*Facebook 30 day challenge*

On facebook there is a little post going around about sharing a photo a day from your life and each comes with a different question. Today is day one. It's simply, "Share ten facts about yourself and post a photo of yourself." This is a great way to start catching up on my blog because I've been lacking for so long. ;)

I LOVE perfume. I choose ones that are a bit obscure though...like Charlie from Revlon and Coco Chanelly! bah hahah (sick) Men love the way I smell...what they don't know is I mix and match my perfumes and my lotions and potions. And then I get to rename them because it's MY concoction. I name them, "My skin." And I add a number by it so I know whats what. And so when they ask me, "KIM! What are you wearing? You smell amazing!" I respond, "It's just MY SKIN." Totally awesome.

2. I don't like having a lot of choices with certain things...like food. Let's say there is a restraunt that has a billion entrees. I get so much anxiety. I would rather have someone just pick something for me. But if they mess up and it's grosse than I'm not a happy camper. I also like to share. American portions are way too big. I love sharing...because it's caring and I don't have to leave all this food when people are starving.

3. Everyone knows that I'm not ashamed to be a cat lady. It actually wasn't my fault. I think two is perfect, but then when one was abandoned by a family member, what could I do? So I adopted him and I could never piccture our family circle without him. But that's neither here nor there. What I was going to say is that I actually say prayers with my cats at night. For realz. They are on a schedule just like kids and when they all come to their bowls to eat...I say a prayer. I bless their food, their bodies, and their hearts. Laugh at me all you want. I bet Gods not laughin'! Just sayin' *wink wink*

4. I cry...so damn much, it's just rediculous! I am in the top ten most sensitive girls God ever sent to the earth. I cry every single day and have since I was five. If I had collected these tears all these years, Utah would have an ocean! It's not always bad crying and not always sobbing. Like I get teary eyed when I read someones status update...if they are having a hard time or even if there is nothing sad about it. Maybe I just think they are a kool person and I'm lucky to have known them in my life. Maybe their update is so funny that it brings me to the gut wrenching stomach laugh! And that leads to tears coming out. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. :) I cry when I read, when I think too much, and when I don't feel good. I cry over those dumb head boys in the world who have hurt my feelings. I cry for my friends and my family when they are hurting and sad. But most of all I cry when someone I love decides they don't want to be my friend anymore. That's where a sob comes in. Buy hey, don't cry FOR ME Argentina. It's all good...I'm still "All smiles Kim." And I am one tough girl despite my senstivity.

5. I'm addicted to shoez. I am so in love with them. I wish I felt guilty when I buy them...but I don't.

6. I despise exercise. I'm not an "active" girl. I don't run, workout, ski/snowboard, swim/snorkel...or any of that other rubbish. That is SO unappealing to me. I can't lie! It doesn't make me feel good EVER. Even if I was consistant...there is no "high" it's not fun for me and...endorphins? What are THOSE? So yeah. I do like to walk and ponder life at the same time. Sometimes I walk fast. Sometimes I walk slow. Sometimes I saunter or skip. Sometimes I kick rocks and say swear words. That works for me. *shrug*

7. I make the most amazing mix cds ever. My friends and family CRAVE them and treat them as little golden plates. I can't help that I'm good at it. I always have been. Even in High School...people loved my mix TAPES. But I rarely ever make one for a guy outside my family. One funny thing about mix cds is that if you get one from someone your dating...you know that the relationship is going well and they are REALLY liking you. (Just for your G-whiz collection ;)

8. My birthday is in March. Don't forget to get me a present! jk I would rather have someone make me a present, write me a letter, a poem, a lamentation (heh heh) or the BEST of all the gang is...a love note/letter. You could widdle me a baby fiddle, or just say or do anything thoughtful. Some say that cleanliness is next to Godliness. But I say, thoughfulness is next to Godliness.

9. I love to love. Whoever I marry is going to be one happy man, because I am going to love his guts out! There will be RARE a day in his life that he does not feel completely adored, respected, appreciated AND feel handsome & smokin' hot. I have A LOT of love to give. I've been saving it...and it's bigger than the universe.

10. I'm dramatic. ;)

Thursday, February 03, 2011

*Quote's and thought...*

...some new and some old. My favorite of course is a good preface for this post. The beloved C.S. Lewis stated;

"My own eyes are not enough for me. I will see through the eyes of others, I will become a thousand men and yet remain myself."
(paraphrased)

I have LOVED that quote for years. It say's SO much. I love to learn from others. They strengthen me, sustain me, and change me. Thank you to all who have shared the thoughts of their souls, that I might make it through my life and live it with more wisdom from you.

"Love is fire, that is the great secret. It is fire with a large F. It is DIVINE fire. When it is in you it lights you, all of you. And transforms. No self/induced flicker can compare with it."
~ Truman G. Madsen

"Art builds from pain, from misery, from a deep seated hurt. A monument to the human heart that shines like a Golden dome among roofs rain-glazed and leaden."
~Paul Muldoon

"The most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life is that, it is ONLY in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found."
~ (I'm still looking. Possibly Robert Schumann.)

"Mind & heart are the keys to knowing when the spirit is speaking. You FEEL what you're hearing. And it STAYS in your heart."
(My thoughts after reading Doctrine and Covenants 8:2-3)

"Happiness begins when selfishness ends."
~ John Wooden

"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be."
~ Johann von Goethe

"One of the most beautiful and painful gifts of mortality is Free Agency. One persons decision can alter the course of history...for better or for worse."
~ Some girl named Kim. :)

"If mutual affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me."
~ (I heard it on the t.v. show Felicity)

"There is a holiness to the hearts affection you know nothing about."
~ John Keats (quote is from the movie 'Bright Star')

"These are bad times. Idiots have stolen the moonlight. They cast their shadowy pomp wherever they wish."
~ Mark Strand

"Oppression gives rise to revolution."

"The greatest preperation for tomorrow is todays kindnesses."
~ George Durrant

"I knew it, and I knew God knew it, and I could not deny it."
~Joseph Smith

"Alot of people want to believe in God as long as He stays out of their hair."
~ Truman G. Madsen

"You always meet twice."
~ A proverb from somewhere. :)

"We are cowards all of us, and we allow ourselves to be hoodwinked and browbeaten and cheated out of our birthright."
~ Charles Edward Jefferson

"When God created the earth, he ended with His crowning jewel, which was glorious Mother Eve. Women are His crowing jewel."
~ Jack R. Christianson

"Men are that they might have joy...not guilt trips."
~ Russel M. Nielson (An apostle of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints."
(Ps. In our lives, when we make mistakes, guilt shouldn't be part of our vocabulary, I like the words "Godly sorrow" much better.)

"The time will come when you will fall in love. It will occupy all of your thoughts and be the stuff of which your dreams are made."
~President Gordon B. Hinckley

"It will be all the sweeter still because of the waiting and the longing.
~ President Boyd K. Packer (speaking of those who have waited on the Lord to find their companion and the REAL love that is given to those who have waited to find that pure love.")

"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."

~ My best friend, Jesus Christ.
(D&C 68:6)

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

*STOP HANGING OUT WITH WOMEN AND START DATING THEM*

(You can get this at Borders, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

This whole "hanging out" buisness has become an epidemic...especially where I live. (Utah) Surprising? Utah the state of getting married and having lot's of babies! Not so much anymore. Life is passing many by because they don't want to "settle down/committ) This goes for girls too! Enough already! Find your companion and build a beautiful life! Some of us are sick and tired of the game.


"Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things.

Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii. The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship. There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating.

Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them.

Why the decline in dating?
There are probably lots of factors that have contributed to the decline of dating amongst young adults. Here are few possible ones:

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. Companies have complained about the turn over rate of Generation Y. Companies invest lots of money training new employees only to have them leave after two years so they can find a new job. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe.

2. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook. While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face.

3. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both.

But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks? If I ask, will she think I’m too forward? Who pays for the date? Do we split the bill? All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

4. Men today are wussies. Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates.

Why date?
A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married. Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

Resurrect Dating
So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.

I expect a lot of debate on this post. Please keep the conversation civil. It’s possible to disagree and still be a gentleman or a lady about it.

Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things.

Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii. The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship. There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating.

Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them.

Why the decline in dating?
There are probably lots of factors that have contributed to the decline of dating amongst young adults. Here are few possible ones:

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. Companies have complained about the turn over rate of Generation Y. Companies invest lots of money training new employees only to have them leave after two years so they can find a new job. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe.

2. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook. While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face.

3. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both.

But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks? If I ask, will she think I’m too forward? Who pays for the date? Do we split the bill? All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

4. Men today are wussies. Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates.

Why date?
A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married. Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

Resurrect Dating
So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining."

Ps. I don't know who wrote this but they are AWESOME!...go the website to find out.
http://artofmanliness.com/2008/01/16/stop-hanging-out-with-women-and-start-dating-them/

*LESSONS ON MANLINESS FROM ATTICUS FINCH*

Amazing! *sigh* (sighing for reasons I'll keep to myself.)This is from this fantastic website. Guys, dig in!
http://artofmanliness.com/


"When it comes to manly characters in literature, my thoughts always return to one man:

Atticus Finch.

Perhaps this character from To Kill a Mockingbird seems like an unusual choice. A gentleman in a three piece suit. A widower of two kids, Jem and Scout. A man who was quiet instead of brash. Polite instead of macho. A lawyer who used his mind instead of his fists, who walked away from insults. Who didn’t gamble or smoke, who liked to walk instead drive. A man who liked nothing better than to bury himself in a book. Yes, Atticus may not seem very “manly,” at least when measured by the modern rubric for manliness.

But it is the subtly of his manliness, the way he carried himself, taught his children, made his choices, that makes his manliness all the more real, all the more potent. His manhood was not displayed in great showy acts but in quiet, consistent strength, in supreme self-possession. The manliness of Atticus Finch does not leap off the page; instead, it burrows its way inside of you, sticks with you, causes your soul to say, “Now that is the kind of man I wish to be.”

The examples of honorable manhood that can be wrung from To Kill a Mockingbird are plentiful and powerful, and today we’d like to explore just a few.

Lessons in Manliness from Atticus Finch
A man does the job no one else wants to do.
To Kill a Mockingbird unfolds against the backdrop of Atticus’s representation of Tom Robinson. Robinson, a black man, has been accused by Mayella Ewell, a white woman, of rape. While Atticus is assigned to be Robinson’s public defender by a judge, he earns the townspeople’s ire in his determination to actually defend him, honorably and fairly, to the best of his abilities.

He does the job that must be done, but that other people are unwilling and afraid to do.

Indoors, when Miss Maudie wanted to say something lengthy she spread her fingers on her knees and settled her bridgework. This she did, and we waited.

“I simply want to tell you that there are some men in this world who were born to do our unpleasant jobs for us. Your father’s one of them.”

“Oh,” said Jem. “Well.”

“Don’t you oh well me, sir,” Miss Maudie replied, recognizing Jem’s fatalistic noises, “you are not old enough to appreciate what I said.”

A man stands in the gap and does what must be done. Doing so earns the respect even of one’s most ardent critics; after facing a myriad of taunts and threats from his neighbors for his defense of Tom Robinson, Atticus is once more re-elected to the state legislature …unanimously.

A man lives with integrity every day.
In Maycomb County, Atticus was known as a man who was “the same in his house as he is on the public streets.” That was the standard he lived by. He did not have one set of morals for business and one for family, one for weekdays and one for weekends. He was incapable of doing anything that would broach the inviolable sanctity of his conscience. He made the honorable decision, even when that decision was unpopular.

“This case, Tom Robinson’s case, is something that goes to the essence of a man’s conscience-Scout, I couldn’t go to church and worship God if I didn’t try to help that man.”

“Atticus, you must be wrong…”

“How’s that?”

“Well, most folks seem to think they’re right and you’re wrong…”

“They’re certainly entitled to think that, and they’re entitled to full respect for their opinions,” said Atticus, “but before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”

Atticus understood that a man’s integrity was his most important quality-the foundation upon which his honor and the trust of others was built. Stripped of integrity, a man becomes weak and impotent, no longer a force for good in his family or community.

“If you shouldn’t be defendin’ him, then why are you doin’ it?”

“For a number of reasons,” said Atticus. “The main one is, if I didn’t I couldn’t hold up my head in town, I couldn’t represent this county in the legislature, I couldn’t even tell you or Jem to do something again.”

“You mean if you didn’t defend that man, Jem and me wouldn’t have to mind you any more?”

“That’s about right.”

“Why?”

“Because I could never ask you to mind me again. Scout, simply by the nature of the work, every lawyer gets at least one case in his lifetime that affects him personally. This one’s mine.”

The most important form of courage is moral courage.

There are different types of courage: physical, intellectual, and moral.

While unassuming, Atticus certainly possessed physical courage; when Tom was in jail, he sat outside all night reading and faced down an angry mob intent on lynching the prisoner.

But moral courage is arguably the most important type of bravery, and this Atticus had in spades. Moral courage involves the strength to stick with your convictions and do the right thing, even when the whole world criticizes and torments you for it. Atticus’s decision to represent Tom Robinson brought a slew of insults and threats to him and his family. But he was willing to bear the onslaught with head held high.

Moral courage also supplies the fortitude to take on a fight you know you’ll lose, simply because you believe the cause to be honorable. Atticus knows that he will lose his defense of Tom Robinson. When Scout asked him why he continued to press on, Atticus answered:

“Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win.”

Atticus used the example of Mrs. Henry Lafayette Dubose to teach Jem the power of this kind of moral courage.

Mrs. Dubose was a sick, cantankerous old woman who would berate Jem and Scout whenever they passed by her house. Jem tried to heed his father’s counsel to be a gentleman, but finally snapped one day and tore up her flower beds. As punishment, Atticus made Jem read books to Mrs. Dubose every day after school. She hardly seemed to pay attention to his reading, and he was relieved when his sentence finally ended.

When Mrs. Dubose died soon afterwards, Atticus revealed the true nature of Jem’s assignment. She had been a morphine addict for a long time, but wanted to overcome that addiction before she left the world; Jem’s reading had been a distraction as she worked to wean herself from the drug. Atticus explained to Jem:

“Son, I told you that if you hadn’t lost your head I’d have made you go read to her. I wanted you to see something about her-I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. Mrs. Dubose won, all ninety-eight pounds of her. According to her views, she died beholden to nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person I ever knew.”

Live with quiet dignity.
Despite the fact that Bob Ewell “won” the case against Tom Robinson, he held a grudge against everyone who participated in the trial for revealing him as a base fool. After the trial, Ewell threatened Atticus’s life, grossly insulted him and spat in his face. In response, Atticus simply took out a handkerchief and wiped his face, prompting Ewell to ask:

“Too proud to fight, you nigger-lovin’ bastard?”

“No, too old,” Atticus replied before putting his hands in his pockets and walking away.

It’s often thought that the manly thing to do is answer tit for tat. But it can take greater strength to refuse to sink to another man’s level and to simply walk away with dignity. Frederick Douglass said, “A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.” This was a credo Atticus lived by.



Atticus’s quiet dignity was also manifested in his authentic humility.

At one point in the book, Jem and Scout feel disappointed in their father; at 50, he is older and less active than the dads of their peers. He doesn’t seem to know how to do anything “cool.” This opinion is transformed when Atticus takes down a rabid dog with a single bullet, and they learn that their father is known as the “deadest shot in Maycomb County.” Jem becomes duly impressed with his father for this display of skill, all the more so because Atticus had never felt the need to brag about his prowess.

“Atticus is real old, but I wouldn’t care if he couldn’t do anything-I wouldn’t care if he couldn’t do a blessed thing.”

Jem picked up a rock and threw it jubilantly at the carhouse. Running after it, he called back: “Atticus is a gentleman, just like me!”

Cultivating empathy is paramount.
If Atticus had one dominating virtue, it was his nearly superhuman empathy. Whenever his children felt angry at the misbehavior or ignorance of the individuals in their town, he would encourage their tolerance and respect by urging them to see the other person’s side of things:

“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view—until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

Atticus understood that people could only be held responsible for what they knew, that not everyone had an ideal upbringing, that folks were doing they best they could in the circumstances in which they found themselves. Atticus strove above all to see the good in folks and to figure out why they did the things they did.

When Scout complained about her teacher embarrassing a poor student, Atticus got her to see that the teacher was new in town and couldn’t be expected to know the background of all the children in her class right away. When a poor man that Atticus had helped with legal problems showed up in the mob to hurt him and lynch Tom, Atticus defended him, explaining that he was a really good man who simply had some blind spots and got caught up in the mob mentality.

Even when Bob Ewell spit in his face, he responded with empathy:

“Jem, see if you can stand in Bob Ewell’s shoes a minute. I destroyed his last shred of credibility at that trial, if he had any to begin with. The man had to have some kind of comeback, his kind always does. So if spitting in my face and threatening me saved Mayella Ewell one extra beating, that’s something I’ll gladly take. He had to take it out on somebody and I’d rather it be me than that houseful of children out there. You understand?”

Teach your children by example.
Atticus is probably best remembered as an exemplary father. As a widower he could have shipped his kids off to a relative, but he was absolutely devoted to them. He was kind, protective, and incredibly patient with Jem and Scout; he was firm but fair and always looking for an opportunity to expand his children’s empathy, impart a bit of wisdom, and help them become good people.

“Do you defend niggers Atticus?” I asked him that evening.

“Of course I do. Don’t say nigger, Scout. That’s common.”

“’s what everybody else at school says.”

“From now on it’ll be everybody less one.”

As a father he let his kids be themselves and nurtured their unique personalities. During a freak snowstorm in Alabama, Jem, determined to build a snowman from the scant snow on the ground, hauled a bunch of dirt from the backyard to the front, molded a snowman from the mud, and then covered the mudman with a layer of snow. When Atticus arrived home, he could have been angry with the kids for messing up the lawn, but instead, he was pleased with Jem’s enterprising creativity.

“I didn’t know how you were going to do it, but from now on I’ll never worry about what’ll become of you, son, you’ll always have an idea.”

Atticus’s sister wished that tomboy Scout would wear dresses, play with tea sets, and be the “sunshine” for her father; she often hurt Scout’s feelings with her disparaging remarks. But when Scout asked her father about this criticism:

He said there were already enough sunbeams in the family and to go about my business, he didn’t mind me much the way I was.

And he bought her what she wanted for Christmas-an air rifle.

Most of all, Atticus taught Jem and Scout by example. He was not only always honest with them, he was honest in everything he did himself.

He not only read them the newspaper each evening, but modeled a love of reading himself. And as a result, his kids devoured every book they could get their hands on. (Modern studies actually bear the truth of this out; kids with fathers who read are more likely to read themselves).

And he not only taught his children to be courteous, he was a model of courtesy and kindness himself, even to prickly types like Mrs. Dubose:

When the three of us came to the house, Atticus would sweep off his hat, wave gallantly to her and say, “Good evening, Mrs. Dubose! You look like a picture this evening.”

I never heard Atticus say like a picture of what. He would tell her the courthouse news, and would say he hoped with all his heart she’d have a good day tomorrow. He would return his hat to his head, swing me to his shoulders in her very presence, and we would go home in the twilight. It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived.


http://artofmanliness.com/2011/02/02/lessons-in-manliness-from-atticus-finch/


Read more: http://artofmanliness.com/2011/02/02/lessons-in-manliness-from-atticus-finch/#ixzz1CpmwZtXN

*GROUNDHOG DAY!*

...and the Groundhog gives us a thumbs up for an early spring! Phewwww "Thank you heaven!"

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Tuesday, February 01, 2011

*Glittering eyes*

I love finding great quotes! This one was stolen from an old friends Facebook page. Thanx Brett...even though you don't know I stole it. ;)

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
— Roald Dahl