Some people want to know why I'm not married. Some people have asked me and some people haven't dared to. Some people think I must be too picky, or maybe they think it's because she struggles with depression and anxiety and that no one would want to deal with that. Maybe it's the CATS. 3? Really? Yes...3! That has to be a big part of it. (haha) So, why AM I not married? Only heaven can reveal that. I could simply say that it hasn't been the right timing. Heavenly Father had a different plan for me. One that I never thought would be given to me. One that has been severely painful but would bring beautiful results (so I've been told). Has it been hard to be single? Yes and no. I see clearly the man I would want...the one at least I would hope for and he will be worth the wait. Should I have a list of requirements? Whether you answer yes or no, I sure do! and I think you will agree at the end of reading them, that they are not unreasonable. He should also expect the same of me.
1- He will see me for who I really am. He will see my heart in my eyes and in all that I say and do. He will love me for that, for my heart is good and full of love.
2- He will not have unrealistic views of what me and my body should look like and be like. My imperfections will fade because he loves me with a pure love. This will make me feel safe and secure which is one of my greatest desires.
3- He will have a strong testimony of his Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. He will have a desire to have them be a part of our marriage, knowing that They will make everything more beautiful because we would never want a life without them.
4- He will not be over zealous but be able to see outside the box. He will have a love for others and be able to see their hearts rather than judge them for things they may do. At the same time, he will be strong enough to know when to speak up and defend what is right and true.
5- He will understand suffering on a deep level and with that be able to help gently remove the emotional shrapnel that is in me because of the wars I've had to battle. He will also love me for having the desire to do the same for him.
6- He will have a desire to be a team with me, equally yoked, working together through this life. That it will be hard for him to be away from his teammate/love of his life and he will always be excited and happy to come home.
7- He will have a great sense of humor and we will fill our home with it. We will both know that it is a great healer and can get us through a tough day/times and that others will enjoy visiting us because we both love to laugh and our home feels like a happy and peaceful haven.
8- He will write me love notes/letters because he knows I appreciate them more than anyone in the world. That I don't need expensive gifts but would rather have something he made or simply something full of thoughtfulness.
9- He will not be afraid of PDA in public or to introduce me to people he loves. He will be proud of me and always say, "This is MY girl." or something cute like that. :)
10- He will not have a roving eye because he will know that his wife is "Stinkin' Kool Kim" and that he will feel as though he won the lottery with me and to him, I'm the best of all the gang. :) He also will feel my love for him so deeply that he would never be in doubt and see clearly that I feel the same. Jealousy is not acceptable from either one of us. He will HAVE to know that me hugging people, even an old flame is simply who I am and nothing more.
11- He will honor me and women. He will want to be a defender of them and have the courage to be an example of this and encourage others to do the same.
12- He will not even care that I have cats. He will love me for loving them and he will love them too. Even if it's just because I love them. ;)
13- He will never leave the house without kissing me and telling me he loves me. Even if it's just to borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbor.
14- He will not judge me for my sucky grammar or other things that could be seen as annoying or shortcomings. He will know that I'm far from being perfect and he is okay with that.
15- Last but not least, he will want to build a family with me and grow old together. He will want to spend forever with his girl. :)
Is this too much to ask? I think not. I've waited a long time and I feel I deserve it. Who I marry will feel so loved, honored, and respected. He will feel no judgement from me just understanding, unconditonal love. I will treat him like a king and love him in a way he never thought possible.
Ps. May I add one last thing. He won't give a crap that I hate to cook. ha!