Saturday, March 21, 2009


The Book Of Mormon
3 Nephi 17:19-23

19 And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise.
20 And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.
21 And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.
22 And when he had done this he wept again;
23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones.

This is a video of my nieces and nephews. Dallas, Chaz, Tiffany, Nash, Kristiina, Zaxter, Taylor, Jaxton, McKaul, Bleu and Henley.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


It's one of the those nights where I stumbled on a song that seemed to fit my train of thought lately of an experience I went through. Almost like getting a letter in the mail from a person you would never expect...reading words you've needed to hear.

This being a too personal story to tell...I would still like to share the lyrics and the song. I could only find this live version. But it doesn't compare to the recorded one. Grab it off iTunes. It's worth a buck or two. :)

*In the sun*

~by Michael Stipe & Coldplay
(originally by Joseph Arthur)

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May gods love be with you
May gods love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You cant keep awake

May gods love be with you
May gods love be with you

cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find

I don’t know anymore
What it's for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it's for
Any more than me

May gods love be with you
May gods love be with you

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I am the ocean and I am sorrowful. My waves have crossed not a few but the numbers of the sand. I have swallowed the wicked and filled the earth at command. And I must do it again…but I know not when. I reason with the angels but they cannot say either for they know not. I delight in bringing mercy and justice. My waves listen for the sound of the horn to blow for all people and for me that I may roll with the earths scroll and be made anew and be cleansed. But for now, it is late…the sky is black and my spirit is heavy. I hold the small ship that never moves, the ship that holds His daughter. I love her because she first loved me. She walked my shoreline many times. She dreamed lovely dreams and entrusted me with their care. But now my touch stings her and my mist recoils her and I mourn for her. My anger rises and I thrash upon the great rocks for I am helpless and cursed. Oh how I long to part for her as I did for the ancients! That deliverance may be hers. I call upon the Moon, the Milky Way and their twinkling’s that they may shine upon her. But even they had to part from her and she is left to whimper in confinement. The lights of her rescue boats grew too dim, they could no longer see... for long was their journey and they were forced to turn back. No one can see her. But I can…I surround her and I will hold her with my stillness that she may not be disturbed for a moment. I have hidden her dreams beneath my corals that they may never be separated from me…I will hold them always that she may believe in me. He that created me has been quiet for too long. Her bones are frail and her breath is shallow. Her sash in satin is now rope that binds. She has been made afraid, mocked and seized against my will. She will no longer speak...she can no longer speak. And so, in her behalf, I cry to the heavens, IT IS ENOUGH!

I am the ocean and I am sorrowful.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Remember when you were young and sometimes you didn't want to eat your food...and your mom would say, "There are starving children in Africa who would be happy to eat that!" WELL...recently I saw a photo of the "New season" shoes at Urban Outfitters. I looked at the shoez and literally thought it was a joke. I would not even pay a quarter for any of them! Yes...I know, there are people who don't have shoes...but guess what? If they saw these, they would rather go barefoot, as would I!!!
I might sound like a bit of a shoe snob but really, these are atrocious. Goodbye Urban've failed me for too long!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Watch this before reading my post.

Day of Faith: Personal Quests for a Purpose - 3. Rachel Esplin from Harvard Hillel on Vimeo.

I Find it remarkable that this young lady, Rachel Esplin, was able to explain the gospel and some very tough questions given to her by a journalist at Harverd University with such confidence and grace. She is only 20 years old but obviously to me, an old soul. She taught and shared with a solid testimony... and that made all the difference.

A dear teacher of mine wrote me a letter before I went on my mission. He said something that I think applys well to this post;

"Remember that teaching and working by the spirit is not a dramatic thing, but is a quiet process that arises unforced from a life of peaceful diligent, unswerving devotion. If what you say is the truth, and you say it purely and with honest conviction, people will feel the spirit of truth being taught to them and will recognize that inspiration and revelation has come into their hearts."

I think she did this perfectly. Respect you, Rachel Esplin, respect to you.

ps. Don't you love the guy on the left (who I believe is Jewish)silently supporting her? You could see and feel that he was impressed with her. :)

Monday, March 09, 2009


Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints and hearing that some of our sacred temple ordinances will be shown on a t.v. series is terribly disheartening. And at the same time, I feel this great sense of peace knowing that the work of the Lord will NOT be frustrated. The Savior is at the healm of this work and any who attempt to destroy or molest the sacred ordinances of this gospel will find themselves "Kicking against the pricks." The work of the Lord will continue to flourish and grow throughout the earth.

"No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done”

~Joseph Smith

Please take a moment to read the statement released by The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, whether you are a member or not. I have watched my church show much respect to all faiths and religions. Can we not have that same respect? There are people in this world who teach without a Testimony and misconstrue the true teachings of our church. I am grateful for the encouragment to follow our modern day Prophet, Elder Thomas S. Monson. In this I find safety and peace.



SALT LAKE CITY 9 March 2009

*Statement from The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints*

"Like other large faith groups, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sometimes finds itself on the receiving end of attention from Hollywood or Broadway, television series or books, and the news media. Sometimes depictions of the Church and its people are quite accurate. Sometimes the images are false or play to stereotypes. Occasionally, they are in appallingly bad taste.

As Catholics, Jews and Muslims have known for centuries, such attention is inevitable once an institution or faith group reaches a size or prominence sufficient to attract notice. Yet Latter-day Saints – sometimes known as Mormons - still wonder whether and how they should respond when news or entertainment media insensitively trivialize or misrepresent sacred beliefs or practices.

Church members are about to face that question again. Before the first season of the HBO series Big Love aired more than two years ago, the show’s creators and HBO executives assured the Church that the series wouldn’t be about Mormons. However, Internet references to Big Love indicate that more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous. And according to TV Guide, it now seems the show’s writers are to depict what they understand to be sacred temple ceremonies.

Certainly Church members are offended when their most sacred practices are misrepresented or presented without context or understanding. Last week some Church members began e-mail chains calling for cancellations of subscriptions to AOL, which, like HBO, is owned by Time Warner. Certainly such a boycott by hundreds of thousands of computer-savvy Latter-day Saints could have an economic impact on the company. Individual Latter-day Saints have the right to take such actions if they choose.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an institution does not call for boycotts. Such a step would simply generate the kind of controversy that the media loves and in the end would increase audiences for the series. As Elder M. Russell Ballard and Elder Robert D. Hales of the Council of the Twelve Apostles have both said recently, when expressing themselves in the public arena, Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves with dignity and thoughtfulness.

Not only is this the model that Jesus Christ taught and demonstrated in his own life, but it also reflects the reality of the strength and maturity of Church members today. As someone recently said, “This isn’t 1830, and there aren’t just six of us anymore.” In other words, with a global membership of thirteen and a half million there is no need to feel defensive when the Church is moving forward so rapidly. The Church’s strength is in its faithful members in 170-plus countries, and there is no evidence that extreme misrepresentations in the media that appeal only to a narrow audience have any long-term negative effect on the Church.


During the Mitt Romney election campaign for the presidency of the United States, commentator Lawrence O’Donnell hurled abuse at the Church in a television moment that became known among many Church members as “the O’Donnell rant.” Today, his statements are remembered only as a testament to intolerance and ignorance. They had no effect on the Church that can be measured.
When the comedy writers for South Park produced a gross portrayal of Church history, individual Church members no doubt felt uncomfortable. But once again it inflicted no perceptible or lasting damage to a church that is growing by at least a quarter of a million new members every year.
When an independent film company produced a grossly distorted version of the Mountain Meadows Massacre two years ago, the Church ignored it. Perhaps partly as a result of that refusal to engender the controversy that the producers hoped for, the movie flopped at the box office and lost millions.
In recent months, some gay activists have barraged the media with accusations about “hateful” attitudes of Latter-day Saints in supporting Proposition 8 in California, which maintained the traditional definition of marriage. They even organized a protest march around the Salt Lake Temple. Again, the Church has refused to be goaded into a Mormons versus gays battle and has simply stated its position in tones that are reasonable and respectful. Meanwhile, missionary work and Church members in California remain as robust and vibrant as ever, and support for the Church has come from many unexpected quarters — including some former critics and other churches.
Now comes another series of Big Love, and despite earlier assurances from HBO it once again blurs the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Such things say much more about the insensitivities of writers, producers and TV executives than they say about Latter-day Saints.

If the Church allowed critics and opponents to choose the ground on which its battles are fought, it would risk being distracted from the focus and mission it has pursued successfully for nearly 180 years. Instead, the Church itself will determine its own course as it continues to preach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.


Not so far in the near future, U2 will embark on their "No line on the Horizon" tour. My heart gets butterflies just thinking about it! I haven't been loving the new album...a bit dissapointed, but friends have said, "It will grow on you!" and I admit that it's starting to! I DO love the song "Magnificant"...I think it's what I hoped the whole album would sound like. It reminds me more of that Joshua Tree feeling. I saw them play it live on David Letterman and it's amazing!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


I could say that I just randomly stumbled upon the art of Vladimir Kush but that would be robbing God of his hand in my life. His art is the stuff dreams are made of...the stuff my dreams are made of- Literally. Check it out!!!

Sunday, March 01, 2009


I just realized that in ONE photo I don't have redeye. So maybe I'm half & half. Half Spawn/Half Angel?

On a more serious note, let me be honest. I was recently thinking about my lifes past. Where did I start from and where am I at now? Once upon a time I was a sunday school teacher for 15 & 16 year olds for about 6 years. I loved teaching. I loved them! I wanted to help them see life in a different light. I wanted them to know that life is beautiful and that miracles can happen. I wanted them to feel UNDERSTOOD and know who they are. Recently I found some of these students of mine on facebook. Within the same week several of them wrote me kind words about how I influenced them for good and that they were grateful I had been their teacher. I can't express how that made me feel. I realize instantly that it really wasn't was Heavenly Father who touched their hearts. But somehow and for some reason, he allowed me to be an instrument in His hands. I was allowed to be angel of sorts to them...and they were and ARE angels to me. We need more of that in this life. More angels! I once had a teacher who shared these profound words from The Wizard of Oz. As the witch begins to melt away she cries out to Dorthy and says;

"Oh what a world! What a world! Who could have guessed that a good little girl like you could have destroyed all of my beautiful wickedness!"

For some reason those words hit me harder that day than they ever had! I think I had watched that movie dozens of times and never really thought deeply about what was being said. Can one person really help destroy the wickedness on this earth? Obviously the answer is yes. So where have I come from and where am I at now? I think that it's been a long winding road, that I have made mistakes...but for the most part...I have given it my all and I am happy with the road I chose. I can say with all sincerity, "My life is my testimony." I hope I can continue to press forward and be an influence for good. An angel of sorts. (A tad bit irreverent one at times...I can't help myself :) But an angel nonetheless. Fingers crossed!


...I think I might be the Devils spawn. In every photo I have ever taken, I have red eye! Does anyone else? NO! I can be standing with 20 people in a photo and I will be the ONLY ONE with red eyes. Now you can give me all the technical reasons why this happens...but the plain fact is, "that one of these things is not like the others." I always have to try and use the redeye reducer and then it looks like my eyes are this funky blue/black color. Not cute.