Sunday, May 16, 2010

*A letter of Love from Jen*

My sister Jen, wrote me this the day after Nate's funeral. She had flown out to be with me as I attended his funeral. This was a big deal because she had to make many sacrifices to get here. I'll never forget as long as I live, walking up to the pulpit with all the courage I had and looking out into the audience to see my best friends all looking at me with support and love. Christine, Valerie, Pammy, Mom, and Jen. An overwhelming feeling came over me that even the most beautiful language could never express. I looked straight into Jen's eyes and the love I felt for her and from her was as pure as heaven itself. I could hear her saying, "I'm here." And suddenly I knew I could I do it. I could say boldy the things that needed to be said and offer up my whole heart in honoring my friend. And then to get this message from her that she posted on facebook was another gift that has stayed with me...not just the words, but the way it made me feel.

"I have always known what an amazing friend you were. I've watched you lift and strengthen those around you my whole life. You are the one who taught me and lived by the quote " A true friend loves you, watches over you and helps you return to God with honor." But over the last few months I've had the chance to talk with and see so many of your dear friends who are so grateful for the love, compassion, support and strength you've offered them. It has been overwhelming for me to see how many lives you've touched and hearts you've helped heal. Hearing you speak at Nates funeral and feeling of the love he had for you was so beautiful and made me so proud to have you as my sister. I would have sent you this as a private note but I feel like I speak for all of us... friends, family and Nate when I say thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the love and kindness you've shown us and the faith and understanding you've always had for all of us. If we could heal you with our love you would have been healed long ago. I love you with all my heart and pray with all that I have that this burden will be lifted from you. Thank you for letting me spend this weekend with you and for being so happy to see me. ;)"

Could I ask for anything more in this world? NO! And to even THINK of asking for anything even at this very moment seems so selfish. I have family and friends who love me. And as much love as I have tried to send out over my life...has come back to me ten fold.

Thank you sister, for walking with me...down the long and winding road.