*I SHALL RETURN FOR YOU, MY LOVE, ON CHRISTMAS DAY*

These are song lyrics that only my sisters and I will know the true meaning. It's a secret. :) Also this photo has very special meaning to me. Here is a link if you want to hear the song, http://youtube.com/watch?v=CMFzQhR9dJw


A young gentleman came riding past
On a snow blue winters day
He asked to drink, by our fire,
And I was pleased to let him stay
He drank there quietly for a while,
Then he turned and said to me
Your eyes are green, like summer grass,
Your lips are red like a fresh cut rose,
Your hair is soft like an Irish stream
And your voice is filled with sweet beauty
And the last words I heard him say
Were I shall return, for you, my love, on Christmas day
The night will come but I wont sleep,
As I watch the stars that lead him,
I cannot place where he is,
But still my heart goes with him,
I’m savin all my Sunday clothes
For the day that I'll be leavin'
Father in heaven knows, my sister knows,
And my friends, they’re happy for me
And the priest he says, you should thank God,
For the blessing of such beauty,
And the last words I heard him say
Were I shall return for you, my love, on Christmas day
I shall return for you, my love, on Christmas day.
I SWEAR, I will return on Christmas day.

*THE GOOSE IS GETTING FAT*

Cray-Pay and the other kitty'z are getting fat! I looked at them the other day and all of them are totally chunky. Their food has been rationed out now, and no more plumb pudding for them. I mean come on! Look at Cray'z double chin! haha I love these little rascal'z and all their fatness. :)

*SUMIREGUSA* PART 2

I have always loved ENYA and it is rare to see a live performance from her other than her videos. I found this tonight and was happy to see her live AND also singing one of my favorite songs, "SUMIREGUSA."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWvQYPfZ7gA

*SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE*

I haven't slept in several nights. It's been horrific and I've been in terrible pain. I leave my t.v. on with the music channels playing. I would try and rest and then get up for a few minutes. Everytime the lyrics from the song, "Silent night" would be playing...."Sleep in Heavenly Peace." It was painful to hear, because that's what I long for. It was almost as if the words were mocking me because I have tried every attempt to sleep.

I found this picture tonight called 'Gethsemane' by Carl Bloch. For some reason it reminded me of the situation I'm in and how I long for my rest.

*ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS*

I heard rustling in my Christmas tree yesterday and found Lily just kickin' it in there.

"If that Cat had nine lives...he just spent 'em all!!"

~Christmas Vacation

(Let's hope it doesn't come to that!)

*THE THREE WISE MEN...ER...WOMEN*

So my mom & my sisters decided to surprise me tonight by bringing me a Christmas tree and setting it up so it looked just my style. Glitter, Vintange, my photos, etc. They did it because they love me and they wanted to add some light to my house & heart. They did an amazing job and it's beautiful. Tonight they were the "Three Wise Women." Coming to a dark stable of sorts offering gifts to bless someone. That someone was me. How grateful am I? VERY.

(Even little Henley & Kaul came offering the gift of themselves. :)

"The highest form of wisdom is kindness"

KNOWLEDGE IS NOT WISDOM

I wrote a blog about this once and I can't find it anywhere. But it was something I wanted written down because I think about it often.

I have met some of the greatest men that ever walked the earth, their speech was/is the craft & gift of a Heavenly God. Their very words powerful and poetic. They changed me by how they presented them. It was an art! They painted pictures with their words and I felt moved and touched at how they expressed themselves. They were men (and women) of sound understanding who probably didn't even recognize the beautiful manner in which they taught or spoke. They were FULL of wisdom.

On the other hand, I have known many who are puffed up in their knowledge and they THINK they are wise. They believe that the tossing of their flashy/flowery words will make them look impressive. They enjoy the puzzled look on the faces of those who are thinking or saying "What does that word mean?" They flaunt their vocabulary and are basically "full of themselves." The funny thing is, that they think in their own minds that everyone is looking up to them and thinking how impressive they are.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stand those kind of people. I mean, who wants to carry around a Dictionary when they are with someone? Or secretly be wishing they had the "Urim & Thummim" while in their presence because they don't understand what the crap the person is saying!?

I find it interesting that those who speak with wisdom, you want to hear every word that comes from their mouth. But the "I am so knowledgeable" types are, in my opinion, boring as hell. Their haughty ways & self righteous mumblings are enough to make me want to puke.

I love to write... and many people quickly find out that my grammar sucks rocks, I fumble over words, and my spelling is rubbish. BUT I speak from the heart... that is KEY. I don't give a rats ass if I sound "eloquent." You can still express yourself with the beauty of vocabulary without sounding like your a walking Thesaurus.

It annoys me! Can you tell? :)

P.S. Don't correct my mistakes on this blog or I will thrash you. Mkay? And also I realize that "Rats ass" isn't very eloquent...but sometimes I just have to say it like it is. ;)

*MRS. BROWN*

"Grieving widow Queen Victoria (played imperiously by Judi Dench) withdraws into sadness for years, until plainspoken manservant John Brown (Billy Connolly) disrupts her mourning. Their friendship grows, resulting in personal and political ramifications for both. Funny, exquisitely shot and featuring sparkling performances, Mrs. Brown brilliantly portrays the woman behind an empire and the man who helped her live again."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GELcstDOj_0

This is my new favorite movie. There is an unspeakable message about how friendship, love, and unmovable devotion can help someone live again. Everyone needs a "Mr. John Brown" in their lives.

This movie might not be everyone's cup of tea...but the message I got from it will never leave me.

*RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME*

*I LOOK OUT FOR THE UNDERDOG AND TRY AND BE A FRIEND TO THE FRIENDLESS.

*I CONSIDER MYSELF A VERY NON-JUDGEMENTAL PERSON AND MY VIEWS HAVE CHANGED QUITE DRASTICALLY OVER THE YEARS. I USE TO BE A VERY “LETTER OF THE LAW” KIND OF GIRL. BUT NOW I’M VERY “SPIRIT OF THE LAW.” I HAVE A BROADER PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE. AT THE SAME TIME I WILL ALWAYS DEFEND THINGS I DEEPLY BELIEVE.

*I’M FEISTY AND AM NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK UP WHEN NEEDED. BUT I’M ALSO AWARE OF THE IMPORTANCE TO SOMETIMES BE SILENT.

*I MISS GENUINE LOVE LETTERS, HAND WRITTEN. IT'S A LOST ART.

*I LIKE TO TAKE PICTURES OF LIFE. EVEN IF THE PICTURES ARE JUST TAKEN IN MY HEAD.

*I NOTICE MANY THINGS THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T NOTICE.

*I FIND JOY IN THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE. THE SONG OF A BIRD, THE BEAUTY OF A FLOWER, THE GREATNESS OF A FRIENDSHIP, OR THE GRASP OF A CHILDS HAND.

*I LIKE CUPCAKES.

*I LIKE WHEN PEOPLE SAY PLEASE & THANK YOU.

*I AM THOUGHTFUL, IT IS MY GREATEST QUALITY.

*I THINK 95% OF ALL COPS/FUZZ ARE CORUPT. THEY ARE JERKS.

*THE EASIEST WAY FOR ME TO GET IN A BAD MOOD IS FOR ME TO STAND IN LINE AT THE POST OFFICE. I MEAN WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? IT TAKES AN HOUR TO MAIL SOMETHING!? HIRE MORE STAFF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! GRRR.

*I LOVE BEING AN AUNT. I’M JUST GOOD AT IT. MY NIECES & NEPHEWS ARE A BRIGHT LIGHT TO ME. I HOPE THEY ALWAYS SEE ME AS SOMEONE WHO THEY CAN TURN TO AND TRUST. A “KOOL” AUNT AND NOT A NERDY ONE.

*I HAVE NO DESIRE TO HAVE KIDS. IT’S THE TRUTH. IT’S JUST NOT MY THING. I LOVE CHILDREN, BUT I’M A CAT WOMAN. PLUS, PREGNANY GROSSES ME OUT. THE THOUGHT OF SOMETHING GROWING INSIDE OF ME IS JUST SICK. IT’S LIKE AN ALIEN! I DON’T LOOK AT PREGNANCY AS A “BEAUTIFUL THING”. GOD SHOULD HAVE COME UP WITH A BETTER WAY. MAYBE HE HAS A BETTER PLAN ON THE OTHER SIDE. IF SO…I’LL THINK ABOUT IT THEN...OR HE + MY HUSBAND IS GONNA HAVE TO DO SOME SERIOUS CONVINCING!

*U2 IS THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL TIME. THEY ARE ALMOST A RELIGION TO ME. I HAVE NEVER FELT SOMETHING AS POWERFUL AND INSPIRING AS THEIR CONCERTS. ONE OF MY GREATEST SORROWS IS THAT I NEVER GOT TO SEE THE “JOSHUA TREE TOUR.”

*I WISH THERE WAS A REAL HOGWARTS AND THAT I LIVED THERE! HARRY POTTER BOOKS ARE ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. I LOVE BOOKS!

*I LIKE SHOPPING ONLINE AND HATE THE MALL.

*CLOTHES, BAGS, SHOEZ, I’M ALL GIRL!

*I LEARNED TO RID MYSELF OF TOXIC PEOPLE. I USE TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO ALWAYS FELT IT WAS NECESSARY TO GIVE, GIVE, GIVE! AND JUST LOVE PEOPLE DESPITE HOW THEY MADE ME FEEL. I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT MANY PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF KINDNESS, HAVE ALTERIOR MOTIVES, AND EASILY MANIPULATE. (There is such a thing as "Righteous indignation" and I use it when it's needed.)

*SOUTHERN UTAH IS AMAZING….I MISS LAKE POWELL.

*I THINK MAKING MISTAKES IN THIS LIFE IS IMPORTANT. I THINK I’LL MAKE MORE. ;)

*I’M FAR TOO EMPATHETIC, IT’S BECOME OUT OF CONTROL.

*I WISH I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS FALL IN MY LAP RIGHT NOW. NO…WAIT. TEN MILLION OR BILLION.

*I HAVE GREAT FRIENDS.

*FOOD IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. I SADLY EAT TO LIVE AND NOT LIVE TO EAT.

*I WAS IN SPECIAL ED. "KIM, YOUR A VERY SPECIAL GIRL...SO SPECIAL THAT WE ARE PUTTING YOU IN SPECIAL ED."

*A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK I’M A LOST CAUSE. SOME PEOPLE THINK I’M WORTH MY WEIGHT IN GOLD. AS FOR ME? I’M VERY PROUD OF MY LIFE AND HOW I’VE LIVED & HANDLED THINGS…BUT MOSTLY I THINK I’M JUST PLAIN ‘OLE KIM…ONE IN A BILLION!

*BEN'S COOKIES"

Sometimes you see, smell, or taste something that reminds you of someone. Sometimes it's painful to remember, sometimes it makes you smile, sometimes it's both. Today my memory of someone special came from cookies. :) It was bittersweet.

*WHAT WILL IT TAKE?*

This is one of my last ditch efforts at this point in my life to wake people up to the reality of the world of depression. I feel that in my meager attempts at sharing my thoughts, my knowledge, and my personal experiences...I have failed miserably to bring people out of their ignorant slumbers. I have never once desired any sympathy! Only a feeling that what I have tried to do has made a difference.

With the terrible illness of Cancer...there are pink ribbons and people marching around to help people become more aware and help fight that disease. But with depression? No one cares. There are no ribbons, marches, or benefits to find a cure for this disease. No one really believes it is one. And the people who suffer are left to rott in a pitt of darkness. My frustration knows no bounds. I am left to say WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO WAKE PEOPLE UP?.........My answer? I have no idea. In the last words of a poem that my great hero, David Hyrum Smith wrote;

"I would not sing, and yet I cannot cease. I cannot murmur...
I have no peace."

There is nothing left for me to say either, I'm out of words. May God grant someone in this world to get through to people and save many, many lives.

(The pictures I have attached are a clear view of my daily life. I am not "All smiles Kim" I am someone who suffers from Clinical and Chronic Depression. This is my illness.....right before your eyes.)

Here is the whole poem by David Hyrum Smith. I have posted it on my blog before, but I feel that it beautifully and painfully depicts Depression.

"'The Psalm of DISCONTENT'

Let me be happy....Let me be happy too.
Oh! Wrestless soul.
Fold thy quick limbs and rest from care awhile;
Watch the great clouds in fleecy volumes roll;
The lakelet and the Sunshine seems to Smile; _

Would to God my friends were here to share my thought,
Would I could find the rest I have long sought.

Would I could speak the language of the hills....
Would their plush velvet grace I could make known.

Could I translate the talking of the reels that come from
Their crowning dimples…wander down.

I would not sing, and yet I cannot cease. I cannot murmur..
I have no peace.


`DAVID HYRUM SMITH`

*GRATEFUL*

Okay...tonight I went to let my cat outside and there, to my surprise, was a dozen (HUGE) Red Roses! Along with a lovely book...but no card/signature. I am so blessed to have so many people who are mindful of me and so caring. I felt really touched and for a small moment it eased the burdens I'm carrying at this time.
But I would love to know who did this...so I can thank them. If not, please know that kindness & thoughfulness means everything to me. I am VERY grateful! What you did really meant something to me...and I love you for it!
Thank YOU!
xo

*OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES

As always my nephews are the starz in my life always making me laugh and ponder their curious, clever, and intuitive minds. The last couple weeks it's been Kaul & Bleu who have taken center stage. Jen is always emailing me funny photos and things that they say...and I am always laughing my head off. Here are a few recent conversations they have had;

A couple weeks ago Bleu said to Jen, "Those are some big rocket ship tummys!" And she was like "What?" and he repeated it. And then she realized he was talking about her "Ta Ta's" LOL ha! She was fully dressed and everything. :) hahhahaha (she will probably kill me for writing this in a blog!)

Then Jen was babysitting some other kids from her ward and the little kids were calling her Sister Packer. And Bleu was getting in their faces like a little bully (he's TWO) and saying "She's NOT Sista Packa!" ha! (you have to know his little voice for this to be super funny. He's really small for his age and some people assume he doesn't talk very well...but then he spurts things out and is hysterical! Later on that day I asked him what HIS name was and he said "Sista Packa". hahahha We were dieing laughing.

And on a more serious note...here are two special things that the boys said about me, their Aunt,

One day I was very very sick. I know that Jen knew about it. I still don't know if they overheard her saying something about it to maybe Joe or something. But she later told me that Bleu kept walking around the rest of the day saying, "Kimmy will be safe" over and over. I know these little ones are still cloesly linked with heaven.

Also the other day Kaul said to Jen, "Mom, Aunt Kim is sad alot, huh?" and Jen said..."Yes honey, she is." And he said..."I think it's because she doesn't see me enough. I make everyone happy!" And he does! I love these little guys, I'll never be able to say it enough.

(Here are some recent photos from their wards "Trunker Treat"...obviously dressed from the movie "Nacho Libre" :D And one Jen sent me of Bleu giving Kaul a dirty look while Kaul was holding Henley. :)

*CHAZ'S MISSION CALL*

My nephew, Chaz, (Pam's oldest) got his mission call to Johannesberg, South Africa. We are so excited for him! (Jen & Joe also severed in South Africa...so it is extra special to them and our family.)

He had told me a couple days before that he would love to go to Africa...I say it's close enough ;) He leave's the day after Christmas and he is actually going to the M.T.C. in South Africa.

*BEING A MOTHER TO CATS*

You know, recently I've been reading my friends blogs...all about their children & being mothers & fathers and all the sweet and funny things that their lives entail with being a parent. It's so fun to read and kind of twilight zone for me. I mean...I'm still in the same spot most of them left...uh...ten years ago? Yeah. So on occasions I feel a bit left out. Not because I want to be a mother (sorry I have to be honest!) heaven knows that wasn't the plan for me. But God gave me a taste of motherhood...and I am going to talk about my cats in the same language my friends talk about their kids. I think this will be a laugh. :)

I am the mother of three cats. Two planned and the other....well, not planned. Their names are Lewis, Lily, and Cray. My roomates and I went to a corn maze about 7 years ago and found a little kid standing there with a box of baby kitties. It had been raining and it looked like they hadn't been fed or taken out of the box in days. I found the one I wanted...but Val, my friend, found a different one. So we took them both. And long story short that's where Lewis & Lily came from. As for Cray, he was my moms cat during the time that I had ECT. My mom was staying with me while her home was being built and she was taking care of me during these procedures. But once her house was finished she abandoned Cray. So....now I have three, and am the official CAT WOMAN. I am unashamed. The mockery has known no bounds...but I take it with a grain of salt...as I am raising such special spirits. (bah hahhaha) no, really they are. :)

Lewis is the king of the house. He truly is "King Lewie"...he rules the other cats and is joined at my hip. He will NOT leave me. If I walk into the bathroom...so does he. If I take a nap....so does he. (He has to be in the covers with me) If I say something to him he immediatley meows back and has serious attitute! But I have always seen him as my little protector. (He has a weight problem right now...but we have that under control.)

Lily is the mute of the family. My siblings joke that she is a little bit "Off"...this is offensive to me and I know it is to Lily too. (Just because she is a cat doesn't mean she is DEAF) Although there was a time when she would go to lick her paw and instead be licking at the air. Those days have past and she has grown much. She is the best at opening drawers and my cuboards. (She will claw at my sock drawer and pull socks out until it's just the right size for her to climb in and sleep. She also hides in places I never would have thought of and I am always yelling "Lilllllllllllllllly" to try and find her. She's not very obedient and stays where she's at until I find her or she decides to come out. But she is loving and her meow is the cutest ever. It's barely audible but so stinking cute. Lewie and her are best palz and they cuddle all the time. Except for when he wants to go to sleep ALONE. Then his meow is so rude! and she leaves him alone.

Cray. Oh funny Cray. My mom always called him the Texas Ranger...and that he is. He is always running about the house like he's on a horse! He tackles Lily all the time and she hates it. She will hiss at him...but it doesn't stop him. He want's to play with her and she's does NOT want to play with him. He get's a bit rough with her and I often find black poofs of her hair randomly around. Bless her. ;) But I am working on this with him and trying to teach him to be kinder to his siblings. :) I'm pretty sure he's part dog. In the morning he flops on his back and wants his belly rubbed. He also has chinese eye's and so his nick name is "Cray Pey"...sounds kind of chinese...or japanese...right? :D

All in all they are wonderful children...I mean kitties. I adore them! So much...that I go through boxes of Kleenex every few days. (I am completely allergic to cats...no joke!) But they are a DELIGHT FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE...and worth every tissue! How lucky I am to be their guardian.

haaaaaaaaaa!

*THE RING*

*THE RING*

Heaven knows that my older sister has always been a tough mother scratcher. My days of youth were often filled with her punching me in the arm because I had caught her kissing her boyfriends and was …well…a tattletale. It was her way of threatening me NOT to tell…and it usually worked. Instead I would cry out to my Hello Kitty journal that she was going to get pregnant (even though I had no idea how that worked ha!) and that she was a jerk!

But I never knew how tough my sister really was until one fine day. My sister was being harassed in Jr. High by another girl. The girl was obviously jealous of my sister, as was I. I mean, my sister had bleached the hell out of her hair and it was fluffed out in every direction like the girls on Xanadu! Her hair and her silvery lipstick was a sight to behold. She was an 80's dream! I envied her argyle sweaters, Jordache jeans, legwarmers, and pretty in pink dresses. Her middle name was KOOL and everyone knew it.

This particular girl who decided to bully my sister wore a daggered ring the size of TEXAS! And was often pushing it in my sister's face…threatening to cut her. The mirrors in the bathrooms were covered with cruel words towards my sister and there was often name calling as she walked down the halls. To add to this, our telephone was often receiving prank calls, once again threatening her with THE RING and all sorts of profanities. It was cruel and I'm sure it hurt my sister…it hurt all of us. Nobody wants to watch someone you love be bullied.

And finally, one day, it had gone too far. My parents had had enough of it all. They had watched my sister suffer long enough. And being the small town folks that they were…they decided to help my sister take hold of the situation in a proper manner. My dad was gonna teach my sister how to beat the CRAP out of this girl! I was sitting on the kitchen counter, wide eyed, watching my dad show my sister how to throw a punch! I still remember his words; "Next time she starts harassing you, you say to her..."look, I don't want to fight!" Turn as if your gonna walk away and then turn back around and POW!!!" My heart was racing as I heard this, was my sister really gonna do it? What happened if THE RING came out? What if my sister didn't have a face after that? I was worried and excited all at the same time.

The next day, sure enough, the girl came a bullying! She had her friends gathered around her and as she shot off her mouth about wanting to fight my sister, a small group had gathered. I'm surprised there wasn't a chant ringing out "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"
My sister knew what she had to do. Then came the rehearsed words, "Look, I don't wanna' fight!"….and then it happened. My sister hit that girl so hard that she flew to the ground. She lay there in shock and then began to cry like a little baby. Oh what a sight it must have been!!! I wish I would have been there Cheering my sister on! Video taping it so that someday I could put it on Youtube! This girl proved to be nothing but someone who could talk the talk...but not walk the walk!! And my sister? She was a star! I bet her blond hair didn't move a inch with all the hairspray in it! It stood it's ground...just like my sister.

It wasn't long before both girls were hauled off to the principal's office and suspended for a couple days. I remember my parents being quite pleased with the outcome, as was I.

The moral of this story is, don't mess with my sister…EVER. She has no desire to fight anyone for any reason. She's a lover not a fighter!

(The picture at the top shows an example of Pam's hair. But it was mild that day! I call the picture "Trailer trash". God bless us.)

*CLOUDZ*

I put together a new video today of most of the cloud photoz I've taken over the last few years. I was surprised at how many there were. They are not the most remarkable photos but they represent something to me that is deep and eternal.

When you struggle with an illness for so long, it is easy to become a person who walks with their head down. When I looked at all these photoz I had of cloudz, I realized how often I have looked up. Heavenly Father, in all his kindness, was pointing out the beauty of his creations to me that I might be sustained for even a small moment. I felt a great sense of gratitude for this today. I also know in my own heart, that I will never see myself as someone who walked through this life with my head down. I lifted up my eyes…and I beheld beautiful things.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FzgTjeqh3UY

*BODY WORSHIP*

We are living in a society that is ravished by pornography and false misconceptions of a what a girl "should" look like. By living in such a visual world, it's hard to not feel the horrific pressure that is heaped upon all women. This idea that you have to look like the "Jessica Albas" of the world. That you have to be something that that you are not...and mostly likely will never be. These nagging words from the enemy of all truth, which whispers, You will never look good enough...your body will never be pretty enough...your hair will never be the right color...your skin will never be flawless...you will NEVER measure up.

The Savior teaches the truth. That we do NOT have to measure up to the worlds absurd standards. He has taught, that when you seek women (or men) of "The world" you will find nothing but heartache and sorrow.

1 Jn. 2: 16-17
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

I had a great friend who was talking to me one day out on my porch. We were talking about this very subject. He startled me when he said "Kim, I think it's a priesthood holders responsibility to protect women from anything carnel, vulgar, or degrading." And he is right. While in the dating world, a relationship, or a marriage. It is their responsibility to an extent. The rest is up to us. Women equally have to fight against the tauntings and temptations of the advesary. The biggest temptation is those insecurities that every girl faces daily because of both what she see's and hears. How much easier it would be for all of us girls, if we had a greater support system from the men around us. It requires courage and resistance to the worlds standards.
Any man who expects or is looking for a "picture perfect person" will never find it...and is a waste of time.

D&C 42: 23

"23 And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out".
It takes seeing through new eyes, courage and resistance. No man or woman was sent here to fail. The Lord knew what kind of world we would be coming down to and he knew we were all up for the task.

*SCIENTISTS CELEBRATE THE BUTTERFLY RETURN*

By Associated Press Updated: 7/26/2007
REDONDO BEACH, Calif.

Though the surfers, skaters and beachgoers might not notice the butterflies fluttering by, conservationists are celebrating the return of the endangered El Segundo blue to its native habitat along Santa Monica Bay.

The insects, with a wingspan of about an inch, are thriving in plain sight at beaches in Redondo Beach and Torrance after scientists nurtured their dwindling population in three fenced-in nature reserves for years. It had been decades since the critters had been seen in their native habitat.

But thanks to an effort to restore native vegetation to the area, buckwheat, source of the butterflies' preferred nectar, now blankets bluffs that had been overgrown with invasive nonnative ice plant.

Still, scientists were surprised the El Segundo blues, thought to be too lazy to travel long distances, returned home without the help of human hands.
They have been on the nation's endangered species list since 1976. They're everywhere.''

''No one figured that they would just do it on their own,'' said Ann Dalkey, co-chairwoman of the Beach Bluffs Restoration Project. ''You can see them like crazy. "

(This photo I took at Red Fish Lake/Sun Valley, Idaho on July 5 2007. I had not seen a real blue butterfly up to this point. I have seen them everywhere else. T-shirts, movies, billboards...etc. But not a real one. )

*SUMIREGUSA*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=20_no8L0c9E

The lyrics for Sumiregusa were inspired by a Hokku, or Haiku, written by the Japanese poet, Bashō, while he was traveling to Ōtsu. He says that on his way through the mountain road the sight of a wild violet touched his heart. We have all been moved by the beauty of nature, so I am sure we can all relate to those seventeen syllables that Bashō wrote. We have all had a moment that pulls at our heartstrings. One such moment for me was when I was walking in the woodlands andÝI came across an old, broken, dying thistle. He was such a sad sight. There was a small history in him that would soon be lost. And yet he struggled on. I called him Don Quixote. I went every day to see him until he wasn't there any more. The following year his children bloomed, he did not return. Even today, although that place has been taken over by the ever vigorous bramble, and there are no signs of any thistles, I still pass by and remember him. Perhaps these moments are an epiphany. Perhaps it is our own acceptance of the world and the way it is. Perhaps it is a celebration of life, or just a moment that is ours alone. In Sumiregusa all of nature is equal in its power to inspire, to move, to touch - from a small pebble to a great mountain, from one green leaf to the many colours of autumn, from the song of birds to a purple flower.

~Roma Ryan (the lyricist for almost all of Enya's music)

*THE POEM ITSELF AND THE TRANSLATION *

~Sumiregusa-Wild Violet~

Mono no awarē
Murasaki iro no hana
To fuyu mo koyuki
Harahara

Shizēn no bi kanaAh!
Midori no ha to
Aki no iro

Kaze no koe
Tori no saezuri
Kanashii umi
Yorokobino umi
Yama
Koishi
Ayamegusa

*TRANSLATION*

"The poignancy of things
A purple flower
The blossom of springs
and the light snow of winter
How they fall

The beauty of nature
A green leaf andAutumn colours
The voice of the wind
The song of birds
A sad sea
A joyful sea
Mountains
Pebbles
A wild iris"